Until Hell Freezes Over

Feb 21: Morning before Canada game:

“It’s a surprise to see how far this young USA team with their last win over Norway 6-1. But the question is they prepared to play with the big boys of this tournament? Everyone’s looking to Canada to succeed; this Canada team is going to be fired up after the adversity they faced during their SO win againist Switzerland.”

“I definitely agree with you, Rob. I feel sorry for the United States having to play againist a Canada team that is out to prove that they are the best in the world. Canada has the offensive edge on them, that’s for sure. Their first line of Marleau –Thornton - Heatly trumps whatever the USA can put up againist them. They’ve got too much depth with the offensive defensemen of Boyle and Niedermayer for the US to have a shot. Canada’s got Crosby, too, which just adds the icing to the cake.”

“Whether Canada has Crosby or not, that isn’t going to stop the United States from playing their hearts out all the way through. This team has 6 points for a reason and that reason is their never- say – die attitude. The Kane-Parise-Langenbrunner has just as much potential to as Canada’s starting line. They’ve got even more depth hidden with the line of Ryan -Drury-Maxwell, with the speed in the big engine that Maxwell has I doubt Canada can beat her break away even with her teammates on their team. She’s going to be the deciding fact of this hockey game. I wouldn’t count her or her team out of this game just yet.”

Today was it. Today was the day that we get to face Canada for our final Round Robin game. We had defeated Norway 6-1 in regulation on the 18th. Canada won againist Switzerland in S.O. so they were placed behind us in rankings. So far we were the only remaining team in Group A that hadn’t lost in regulation. If we won againist Canada tonight then we would clench the qualification round bi and go straight to Quarter Finals.

“Ryan, Maxwell, Drury. You’re running stair laps today so don’t put on your skates.” Coach announced as he walked into the dressing room. Our line was being punished because we had failed to produce anything more than a goal againist Norway.

Bobby and Chris groaned as our teammates taunted us. At least, they got to have a relaxing morning skate. No pressure. Ha! Yeah, right… I chuckled because I knew how to make stair laps fun.

“Separate yourselves, gather you thoughts about how much play time you want.” Gordon threatened as we walked out the door. We had to leave our gear on as part of the punishment. Once we were on the bleachers, I decided to reveal my plan.

“Guys, how about we play a game of tag to make things a little more enjoyable?” They both looked at me. Chris raised his eyebrow, most likely questioning my sanity. Bobby eagerly nodded in agreement,
“Okay, it’s something we used to do at Michigan. Whenever a line was called to do stair laps we’d play tag. Just to brighten up the gloominess of the whole I’m-being-punished-thing. So Whatcha say?”

“Isn’t the whole point of stair laps to get punished?” Chris questioned. He obviously didn’t get where I was coming from perhaps he was too far removed from his youth.

“Um… When was the last time you got punished?” I asked him and he just shrugged. “You see, we’re not actually being punished. We’re just being put on probation for morning skate. No biggy.”

“Let’s do it!” Bobby cheered, clearly pumped up. I only smirked at him. Chris caught my evil look so he then asked,

“Fine, what’s the catch?” Bobby froze.

“Ah! You foiled my surprise. I wasn’t going to say anything until someone lost. Okay, I was gonna have the loser wear a pair of Kaner’s boxers on their head.”

“NO! No way!” Bobby objected, “Who know how many times he’s jizzed in them.” Chris and I were both now smirking.

“Hey, you 3, get running!” hollered Coach once he noticed that we hadn’t began our laps. Startled we all took off in a dash,

“Drury’s it! Age before beauty!” I called, heading in a different direction than the other two. Bobby immediately began to avoid Chris like he had AID’s, sprinting away as fast as he could. Oh this is just too good!

We all met on the other side of the arena. It looked like Bobby was still running from Chris so I jumped up to meet him and guess what! HE TAGGED ME!!!!

“You’re it, princess.” He laughed and continued on his merry way.

“You little douche face!” I cried back and then noticed that the old man was still coming so I ran over and tagged him, “Nah, Nana, boo, boo!” I teased, jumping out of his reach. Hey, we hadn’t called tag backs and it’s no fun if there are only 3 people playing tag when you can only chase one person.

“Not again!” Chris wailed, in frustration and then he went to catch up with Bobby.

This went on until Team Canada came out. (Yeah, I know in real life teams don’t have morning skate together, but just go with it.) When they came out Bobby and I were at a stale mate. Yep, we were just standing there slapping each other with Drury only a few feet away rolling on the floor laughing his ass off.

“What the hell?” I heard Chris Pronger ask Uncle Brian.

“They’ve been playing tag the entire time that they’ve had to do stair laps because their line sucks.” He responded loud enough that he knew I could hear him.

“I heard that, Uncle Rally! Once I’m done with this retard* I’m coming after you!” I announced and angled myself so that I was backing up to Chris, who had now seated himself in one of the stadium chairs.

“Why aren’t they getting in trouble?” The evil Mike Richards questioned as he, Crosby, Keith, Getzlaf, Kesler, Kane, Parise, and Jon all skated over to watch the show.

“They’re bonding. Dillan and Bobby were having superiority complex issues that needed straightened out.” Langenbrunner explained as he took shots on Ryan Miller.

“5 bucks, Dillan decks Bobby and decides to make a run for it.” Dunks asked Kaner.

“You’re on!” My teammates are so dumb. I don’t think they knew that I heard their bet and I wasn’t going to let Duncan win because he was the enemy. After being tagged back by Bobby, I whirled around and kicked Chris in the shin, then jumped up into the next row and ran like a bat out of hell, “You’re it!” *Please, insert evil/ malicious laugh here*
“Did that just happen or am I hallucinating?” Rafalski questioned, rubbing his eyes.

“Dude, you owe me!” Pat laughed, fist bumping Kesler, “That’s my ho!” I gave him the bird.

“Hey, you guys, as entertaining as this is, practice is over.” I paused in mid stride and looked back, “Chris? You still it?”

“Nope, Bobby is!” My grin widened,

“Oooohhhhhh! Bobby, you know what that means?!” He waved me off.

“God, please no! Anything but Kaner’s boxers. Anything!”

“Stop being such a drama king. Chris, hold him there while I go get the stuff.” I ordered and then ran down to the dressing room. I quickly obtained Kane’s smiley face boxers and my Polaroid camera from my USA gym bag then dashed back so that Chris wouldn’t have to hold Bobby down for long.

After wrestling the boxers over the top of his head so that they covered his face, Bobby began moaning about how bad they smelled and was complaining about how Kaner could get girls with rank underpants.

“Chris! Hold them still.” I giggled because I could hear Kaner denying the fact that his boxers stunk to high heavens. Once Bobby was in the pose I wanted him to be in which his mouth was barely showing from underneath the waistband I snapped that picture. “Welcome to Dillan Maxwell’s wall of shame.”

I wonder what Jon is thinking about all of this?

“Wall of Shame?” Questioned both of my line mates and I nodded eagerly,

“Aka: Funny or Embarrassing photographs of hockey players in my living room. Back in Chi-town.” I explained, “You should feel honored, Bobby. Not just anyone gets to make it on my wall.” He only groaned as he ripped off his boxers, his face was fuming red,

“Dillan, you’re dead.” That was when Chris leaned over to me and said,

“This is the part where you run away.” I nodded in agreement and took a shaky breath in,

“No need to tell me twice.” I joked and sprinted as fast as I could away from the 23-year-old forward from Anaheim, then I decided to chant,

“Run, run, as fast as you can. You’re catch me because no one can!”

I arrived in the locker room unscathed and then turned around to rub it in Bobby’s face,

“Can’t touch this, bitch.” I told him while doing my little happy dance, but that was when I received a shaving cream filled towel to the face via Kaner,

“That’s for using my boxers!” The dressing room erupted with laughter at my state.

“Yeah, yeah, yuck it up ‘cause I’m winning this game.” I laughed, manically, wiping the foamy cream off my face and throwing it back on Kaner.

“Just wait until I tell Mark, I heard that he’s been on it plenty of times.” Bobby responded. That name froze me instantly. I couldn’t believe that I had forgotten Mark Mitera; he was my boy at Michigan.

“Marky? My Marky?” I squealed as he nodded to confirm that it was my Marky,

“Yeah, him and some of your old teammates are coming up for the game. They can’t believe that you’re playing for the US.” Bobby informed me. I was in shock. I couldn’t believe that they were coming to support me! I had missed them like no other. I was going to have to hang out with them after the game. There was so much catching up to do. I wonder if they brought any of our freshmen with them. Probably not, I bet they had a game tonight or something. Man that sucks.

“They brought a couple of your freshmen. If that’s what you’re suddenly pouting about.” He smiled.

“Did they bring Stevie?” I questioned, but all Bobby did was shrug. Something was up. He had that grin on his face like he knew something that I didn’t.

Our line was the last to show up, but as we stripped down and threw our practice gear in the baskets Coach stepped out of his office but he didn’t say anything about the team as a whole instead he said,

“Maxwell, my office.” A chorus of Ooooohhhhh’s erupted from my teammates and suddenly I felt extremely nauseous. Hurriedly, I threw on my sweats and Team USA shirt before walking over to the Coach’s office.

“What did you want to speak with me about, sir?”

“Dillan, do you know why you’re not playing on the women’s team?” I shook my head because I honestly had no clue, “You’re qualified to be, but you’re not because of the skills you have in your arsenal. Skills that some of even the most talented of players have.” Okay, now he lost completely lost me.

“So what are you saying?” I asked him, bluntly, folding my arms over my chest.

“What I’m saying is that you’re possibly one of the best two-way forwards that I have had the opportunity to coach. You’re skills set is more advanced than most of the women’s players. That game would be too slow for you. We placed you on the men’s roster because that was where we thought you would flourish the most. You have the potential to both Gretzky and Lemieux. That was why we saw it as a better fit to replace Backes with you after he got hurt in January.” Oh, how I remembered that night. So not the best game I ever had.

“Okay, that’s cool.” I didn’t know what to say to Coach Gordon. I mean what was I supposed to say? I was humbled beyond believe. I knew I sort of had the hockey sense, but I’m just Dillan Maxwell, there is nothing special about me. How many girls do you see playing with men? Just one person besides myself that I know of… Maybe I am special. Am I better than Jon and Pat, probably but they can have their lime light I don’t need it.

“There is one little quirk that I would love to correct about your playing style.” Ah, here comes the deflation. Great.

“And what would that be, sir?” I inquired. I thought that the way that I had been playing was fine. Coach Q. hadn’t stated that I was having any problems. Where was he to say that I needed to have something that needed to be fixed?

“I know that starting for the Blackhawks has greatly improved your game, but it hasn’t improved this fault because when you play with Toews, you expect the puck, correct? He’s not a guy that’s going to take a shot on goal every time, but he has you and Kaner to light up the score board when he doesn’t have to…. I probably shouldn’t even be saying this before a big game like this one but I would like you to pass more. You have great vision on ice. You can see plays before they happen. You’re not skating to the next man, you’re skating to open ice. You do a pretty good job setting up opportunities to get the puck to the back of the net on your own. I would like you to give the other guys that same opportunity.” Wow, I totally did not expect him to say that.

“So what you’re saying is more passing and assists than shots on goal?” He nodded to confirm it,

“Yes, for now at least.” I was so pissed. What the hell was I supposed to do? Why did he want to change me so suddenly? Was it because of the Norway game? I mean, come on! One freaking mistake and you want me to change my entire game. Yeah right.

“Are we done?” I tried not to sound too upset or pissed, but I didn’t know how much longer I could stand this.

“Yeah, we’re done. You can go now.” I stood and walked to the dressing room with a tight upper lip. I couldn’t let a little criticism get to me. I should’ve expected that by now. After all of this first it’s that one guys from Switzerland and then it’s Coach. Who’s gonna be next? Coach Q? Gary Bettman? I didn’t feel like talking to anyone so I just grabbed my stuff and went to take my pre-game nap.

Pre-game:

“Okay, pre-game checklist: nap check, shower check, peanut butter and honey sandwich check, warm-ups check, dancing and goofing around to be done, and….What’s this? Pre-game Good Luck kiss?” I read off of my crumpled list of my pre-game routine. Someone cleared their throat from behind me and I whirled around to see Jonathan. He was smiling, smugly as I motioned him over to me.

“You know you don’t have to ask anymore, right?” I laughed as he wrapped me up in his arms and buried his face into my shoulder.

“I know, but when you’re wearing a shirt that says: ‘Caution: Hockey Player at Work. Keep 500ft back at all times.’ I begin to wonder whether or not it’s safe to approach you.” He smiled, pressing a kiss into my hair. I don’t understand how he could do that since I was all sweaty and probably smelt like my gear, “I love you, though.”

“I love you, too.” I smiled, before offering my lips to him and he gladly took them with his own. Just when I was thinking that I could get used to this, I was pulled away by Ryan Whitney.

“Stop, fraternizing with the enemy.” He informed me, “We’re here to win not fall in love.” I just rolled my eyes at him because I knew that there wasn’t anything that I could do at the moment to stop him from saying anything.

…………………………………………..

The game was fast. The fastest we’d played and by far the most challenging, no one had come close. It felt like we were playing for the gold medal right then. It was such an up and down game though because 41 seconds into the first period Rafalski scored on Broduer. I attempted to pass more to Chris and Bobby, it felt so weird!

It had never been my job to look for other people to send the puck to, when I played for Michigan, my line mates, looked to me to score. I made the plays when I was on the ice, I would set up goals for Timmy and Danny occasionally but they knew that if they saw the opportunity to get the puck in, chances are I saw had already seen it. Okay, I’m not a jerk like someone else *cough* Sharpie *cough* just kidding he’s a good guy, no matter what they said on hi All Access Pass.

Eric fucking Staal brought the tally to 1- 1, with assistance from Seabs and Tazer. That pissed me off for some reason, all I knew that there was no way that was going to let my Canadian boyfriend out do me. The tie didn’t last long because on Rafalski’s next shift he sent a one timer from the blue line. The next few shifts were fruitless for both teams.

The second period, I came out looking to either score or nail down an assist anything to lengthen the lead. Heatly decided to tie it back up again 2 minutes into the period and Jon, yet again, got another assist. This time he rubbed it in too. The next time we were out on the ice together he was gonna get it. I got my chance when he was watching the puck as it was passed to him. He was looking down at it, hmmm…. He’s always seemed to have a problem with that why don’t I just give him a little reminder, so I smashed him into the boards with enough force to shake up a little.

“Heads up, Jonny-boy.” I reminded him, like he had done to me a couple times during practice at the beginning of the year. I then took off with the puck, no break away this time. I didn’t want to draw a penalty just yet. So I let a play set up in front of me. I dished it behind me to Jack, allowing Chris to set up a screen on Marty. Jack sent it to Bobby, then Bobby to me, and then I sent it back to him.

“Hey! Hey, watch’em!” Chris warned as Eric drifted closer. Bobby sent it back to me as I pulled back a little to locate an opening in the ice. It was no use, so I dished it back to Bobby and gave him a head nod. Without a second thought Bobby fired the puck towards the net and with a tip in from Chris, it put the biscuit in the basket.

“Nice play, Captain Underpants.” I snickered at Bobby as we both jumped on Chris in celebration.

“You’re such a bitch.” Bobby shot back, but before I could give my rebottle Chris smashed our helmets together.

“Oh, grow up both of you.” He scolded as we rolled our eyes at him. We all skated back to the bench. I had to resist the urge to make an obscene gesture at Duncan and Brent after they whistled at me from Canada’s bench, before I slipped into my seat.

I took the time to look back at coach and he gave me a short nod to tell me that’s what he had meant before, in turn I gave him a quick thumbs up. Maybe sharing isn’t so bad….. The next four minutes of play were pretty much just both teams battling in it out. During the third and final period, Langenbrunner brought our total up to four during a power play. I’d like to thanks to Corey Perry for slashing one of my boys! You totally rock!

Erik Johnson was a dumb ass however, because he decided to trip someone. This would set Crosby up for a power play goal of his own via Nasher and Jigsaw. That was the last time Team Canada would score. With 45 seconds to go, Kesler sent one in on an Empty netter which gave us the final score of 5 -3.

It felt so good to beat the home team! I would’ve thought there would’ve been more booing as we all pilled around Miller, but there wasn’t instead I could hear from several rows behind the penalty box,

“Who dey think’s gonna beat Dillan Maxwell? Who dey? Who dey!” I smirked, because I had a feeling that I knew whose mouths the poor English was coming from. My former Michigan teammates: Mike Mitera, Timmy Miller, Steven Kampfer, and Danny Fardig. All four of them were painted red, blue and white and had wigs on. Claire and Ashton were sitting next to them and they were holding a sign with our names and numbers on it. Wow, just when I was getting used to not having my college friends, they show up again. I’m so going to have to hang out with them tonight. Soon it was time for everyone to line up and shake hands. When I got to Jon we allowed everyone to go around us because I’m sure that he had something to say about my check earlier.

“Good game, Jon.” I whispered in his ear and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He just nodded and grumbled,

“Same to you.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at him.

“You’re just lucky that you guys have home advantage because it would be so much worse if you didn’t.” I mentioned, pulling away from him slightly.

“Yeah, I know. It still stinks that we lost to you and have to go through the qualifying round. It’s just one more chance not to get to the gold.” He admitted.

“Yeah, right, like I’m going to let you guys get that far.” I joked with him, knowing perfectly well that there wasn’t a chance that we might not make it past Quarter-Finals, but that was highly unlikely now,
“Wanna hang out with some of my old teammates and watch the rest of the games tonight?”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll meet you outside of your locker room. Don’t you want to celebrate with your family?” He tried to stop himself but he had said it anyway. It was okay though I didn’t resent him for that.

“Jon, those guys are my family. You are, too. That’s why I want all of us to hang out together. So do we have a deal?” He didn’t answer my question, but instead he gave me a hug and skated off the ice. I couldn’t wait to hear what my friends thought of my new little development because after all I never dated a hockey player until Jon. Yikes.