I Never Meant to Start a War

It took me less than a day to understand the reasoning behind Jasper’s sudden midnight goodbye, and though it hurt to know what had happened, I knew that he was right, that he had to go. I fussed over Paul’s bruises and dislocated shoulder and shattered leg bone until they were better and he finally had the heart to tell me to stop worrying. It wasn’t long after then that I had the courage to tell him what had happened afterward in my room.

He had listened without expression, but the words he spoke after I had finished my story had been enough to push me over the edge: “Do you miss him?”

I remember looking to him with wide eyes and opening my mouth to deny it. Then closing it. I knew I would have been lying if I had told him I wasn’t, and he would have known it as well. He would have seen the shine in my eyes as I felt the curiosity that always came with wondering where he was now and the infinite sadness in my heart when I wondered if he was hurt, wherever he was. So as I looked to Paul and as he watched me, I felt the tears finally leak from my eyes from the weakness I had been holding in, and then I felt myself smile.

“I think I always will,” I confessed to him, squeezing his hand with both of mine. “But I have you now. I’ll learn to remember.”

Love had scarred me. It had also bruised and beaten and broken me; but yet, in the end, I managed to emerge victorious, proof that love may hurt, but it conquers all. Even everything that is bruised, beaten, and broken.

Since that confession and shed tears, I hadn’t talked much to Paul in the two weeks the passed, only in fleeting phone calls that one of us would have to end early for whatever reason. So when I answered the phone to Paul at a noontime hour and heard him ask me if I could make it to the beach, I immediately agreed.

That was how I was here right now, with my feet dug into the sand and my arms wrapped around my knees as I looked to where the water met the sky. They were two different shades and two different worlds, but they ended up coming together at the vanishing point, they ended up getting along in the same universe. I played with the metaphor for a while before setting it aside with a sigh, going back to staring at that tiny string of vanishing points, where the earth led to something new . . .

I couldn’t help but to wonder if Jasper was on the other edge of this ocean.

Just as I was hastily pushing the thought away I heard footsteps coming closer, and I turned to find Paul walking toward me, in a black shirt and the same jean shorts, and I felt myself smile at his familiarity. He smiled blindingly back and lowered himself down next to me, not touching me. We didn’t need to.

We sat in silence for a moment before he whispered, “What are you thinking about?”

“Everything,” I responded, looking over to him. “How are you?”

“So much better now that you’re here.”

I rolled my eyes at his cliché and he burst out laughing, moving closer to me and taking me in his arms. I leaned against him, closing my eyes against the slight rays of sun through the trees. He placed a kiss on the top of my head.

“You look so beautiful,” he murmured before kissing my head again, pulling me closer. I shot him a skeptical look.

“I’m wearing a semi-hideous sweater,” I deadpanned, which just made him laugh hysterically and pulled me in too, making me giggle at his laughter. He leaned down and rested his forehead against my temple, a big smile on his face.

“Well, Marie, your semi-hideous sweater is not as hideous as you think it is,” he said, plucking the fabric of the Icelandic sweater in between his fingers. I slapped his hand away and rolled my eyes, pulling away enough so that I could get a good look at his face. He gazed down at me with the same bright smile, and my heart beat faster and my cheeks heated up. I hid my face in his shirt again before he could notice.

He sighed and pulled away slightly, enough so that I was still in the circle of his arms but we could face each other, enough so that our eyes could meet and create sparks in the air. He breathed out heavily before glancing away, glancing back.

“I feel like I need to get this out on the table,” the werewolf I loved unconditionally confessed. “I love you. So, so much. I’ll always be here if you need to talk.”

I wound my fingers with his and kissed his cheek. “I know.”

Suddenly he got to his feet, pulling me up as well, so that when he rose to his full height I was dangling off of the ground. I squealed and he laughed, swinging me around in a circle as I shrieked slightly and hung onto him tightly, but our laughter mingled into the air, the perfect Hallmark moment. He set me down when we started to get dizzy, laughing as we stumbled up the beach, gripping each other for support. He leaned down and kissed me, and the world became right again.

When he pulled away, he smirked. “We have to get back to my place. Kim and Jared are with Annabelle, and I don’t trust them.”

I giggled as I asked, “Then why did you leave her with them?”

“Mom doesn’t want her alone and I wasn’t going to pass up a day of seeing my beautiful girl.” He beamed down at me as I flushed and started to drag me along behind him, holding my hand tightly.

We made it to his house in about ten minutes, maybe less, but it seemed almost timeless in comparison to all of the time we had lost. When we came to the kitchen, we found Kim and Jared lounging there, both reading something on her phone with skeptical expressions, but they looked up as we entered.

Kim smirked at our entwined hands. “We expected you to be longer.”

Paul set her a glare as Jared rolled his eyes, and I stood there as awkwardly as I may. Not long ago, things had been highly tense in between the wolf pack and myself, and I didn’t know where the loyalties of the individual lay. Kim sent me a bright smile, and I hesitantly smiled back.

“Emily’s making food,” Jared said, heaving himself to his feet. “We’re headed over, if you want to join us.”

I sent a glance to Paul, but he didn’t seem to think about my history with the pack or see the look I gave him, because he immediately agreed. I sent him an exasperated look that he once again didn’t see, and Kim started to laugh.

The two wolves looked at her curiously. “What?” Jared asked his imprint, confused. She shook her head and smiled again, glancing toward me and shooting me a secret wink. I felt a grin start to build up.

“Oh, nothing,” she said too innocently and I grinned widely.

They shrugged.

“Alright then, let’s roll,” Paul said, tugging me behind him. “See ya, Annabelle!”

“Bye!” she called back from somewhere in the house, sounding distracted. I looked to Paul, confused.

“I thought you side that you’re not supposed to leave your sister home alone,” I objected.

“I’m not supposed to,” he relented, “but she’s ten. She’ll be fine alone for a couple of hours.”

I shot Kim a look as she shot me one and we burst out laughing in response, once again confusing the hell out of the werewolves that imprinted on us. She broke away from Jared’s hold and pulled me from Paul’s, slowing us down so that they walked ahead of us and out of hearing range. They glanced back at us regularly, just to make sure we were still there.

Kim was wearing a smile as she looked at me. “You two look insanely happy,” she said to me with a bright smile, and I felt myself start to smile back.

“Yeah,” I answered lamely, but she didn’t need help to keep the enthusiasm alive, the smile still bright on her face.

“It’s nice to see him happy. I mean, not since lately, but in general. I knew him through high school and never saw him smile like that. It’s so sweet.”

I looked over at her. “I thought I was hated here.”

“Not hated,” she corrected. “If you can understand, the wolves were a little cautious about your motives and whatever. But now they know and can see in the way you two look at each other and the way you smile that you really love each other. Paul loved you enough to put you first. I don’t think they doubt it anymore.”

I didn’t know what to say, to be completely honest, so that part of the conversation ended there. We walked in a mutual silence from then on, her happily smiling every time Jared look back to check on her, and me watching Paul’s back and waiting for the moment where our eyes connected. And every time it would, I felt the same connection.

I wouldn’t give this up for anything.

So when Paul held the door open to a house filled with werewolves I knew now trusted me, I wasn’t afraid to sent him a smile before stepping into the unknown with him beside me and his hand tightly entwined with mine.