I Never Meant to Start a War

It had been almost three years since the clash of the paranormal forces that lurked over the rainy Olympic Peninsula, back when vampires stalked the nights and werewolves prowled through the forest looking for just the wrong person to step onto their lands. Things had really changed since then.

I took one step and then the other, my rain boots splashing up the water of another rain-soaked day from the Seattle streets. My umbrella was being gripped tightly in my hands as I ducked my head against the roaring winds, my arm pressed down to the best of my ability on my book bag. It was only another three blocks until I could duck under cover and clump up the stairs to apartment 301.

Yeah. A lot had changed since I was sixteen.

I was attending the University of Washington under a full-ride scholarship for my academic success in all subjects, which immediately meant that Paul was going to follow along with me. He began attending classes the same year as I did. He was currently keeping up with my grades and classes, stunning the pack of brothers that he left at home.

He never thought he would be able to do it. He sent me a lot of uneasy looks as we both filled out the same applications of the college but did it nonetheless. We sent them. And we both received the same answer.

I dug out the key of our apartment in the city as I ducked into the lobby, leaving water marks where my boots stepped. I meandered up the stairs, shaking out my umbrella.

I still thought about the past a lot.

Of things I could have done and things I did, mainly. I never regretted it, and I usually managed to accept the things I did and smile about them. Paul and I hadn’t had a staggering problem in all of these years. I was almost twenty and he just turned twenty-one. We were growing up. Finally.

It was quite the day to think of the past. That was the first thing I thought when I looked up the hallway to my door and saw my past looking me in the face.

I stopped abruptly, looking toward that reminder with a look of what had to be a mixture of horror and relief. As I watched, emotions flitted through their eyes as they looked at me, too, and then melted away as their mouth turned into a friendly smile.

“You look beautiful, Marie,” Jasper told me.

It felt like I had just gone over the edge of a building and was now in a freefall. I looked to where he stood—not a thing about him changed other than the slight disarray of the clothes and hair, his golden eyes clinging to my appearance. He looked just the same. The small part of my heart that would always love him a little bit clenched painfully. I hoped it didn’t show.

I took that long moment of staring to attempt to catch myself. He had told me he would be keeping an eye out for me—could I be completely surprised to see him standing here? Could it be possible?

And yet, there he was. Everything I had hoped I would be able to let go, coming back to show me that no matter how much time passes, it still hurts.

Nevertheless, I feel myself smile as I looked to him. To this boy I’ve let go of loving. “Jasper,” I said, sounding as shocked as I felt. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

He smiled and replied, “Things always come when you least expect them.”

He seemed happier than the last time I had seen him, silent and reserved and knowing that he had managed to lose everything. Jasper seemed so much more in control of his emotions, not just in the way he held himself but also in the way his eyes lit up so much more easily than they had in the time that he was so afraid that he was going to lose the world. But now he was back to smiling, and I was back to hoping.

I rolled my eyes at his statement and moved closer, unlocking the door and throwing it open. I gestured for him to go in and he hesitated, his nose scrunching, before he complied. I rolled my eyes once more and shadowed him, dumping my book bag and umbrella next to the door.

The apartment wasn’t big, but it was just Paul and I. It was two rooms with a living room and a microscopic dining room and a kitchen. Old furniture that didn’t match was scattered around with a small television my parent’s had given us. It wasn’t much, but it was just enough.

If Jasper had any opinions on it he didn’t say them as he sat down on the comfy brown couch, watching me as I slinked over to join him, stepping out of my rain boots. I watched him watch me a little sadly before it all evaporated with a smile.

“So you’re going to college here?” he asked. “I thought you wanted to go somewhere much more extravagant.”

“I learned that no matter how far I run,” I said softly, “I’ll always be running in place.”

Something sparked in his eyes, but when I looked it was gone.

We fell silent for a long moment, and I found it surreal, finding Jasper in a small piece of home I was sharing with the one person he had to hate above all others. If it was anyone other than Jasper and his pride I would assume that he was here to kill Paul. But I knew he had learned his lesson.

Jasper may have won the battle, but Paul won the war with words that gave us a lifetime. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

He seemed to realize that as he smoothly segued into a better topic: “I see you’re growing up.”

Before I could help it, a burst of laughter slipped through my lips. When he shot me an amused grin, I shot him the same back.

“That’s one way to describe it, I guess.”

“You really are,” he insisted with that same charming smile. “You’re strong. You soldiered on. Even if I happen to be the reason why you had to, I can’t help but to feel a little bit proud of you. You turned into quite the beautiful butterfly, Marie.”

It was those words of compliment that I had fallen for so long ago. I smiled to him, but saw the look in his eyes shift and knew better than to speak.

The rain hammered against the ceiling of this top-floor apartment, echoing down from us from the tall ceilings.

Jasper finally said what he came here to say.

“I’m still in love with you,” he confessed to me.

When I had forced him away, I had had a thin hope that he would go back to Alice or find someone new. That he would be happy as I was. I guess that was a little too much to wish for.

“But,” he added suddenly, “I know better than to step between you and your happiness now. I think I’ve come to realize that I have the power to love you without hurting you anymore than I already have.”

I guess we had all done our fair share of growing up these past years.

Despite all of the ways I thought I would react, I felt myself smiling at the man I loved those years ago. I felt my heart coming to the conclusion that even though I once knew him and would always remember him for showing me how to love, I didn’t have to forget about a moment of him and me for me to get over the small piece of my heart still clinging to me. I could remember Jasper without falling in love with him all over again.

He smiled to me as if he felt that, too. “Still, the offer still stands. If he hurts you, I’ll break his legs.”

I burst out laughing and shook my head at him, smiling. He could have been the best of friends. I didn’t want him to be my enemy anymore.

We talked for a while, since Paul was still at work. He told me about how Bella had a child and named her Renesmee and how the Cullens were now still traveling the world. He tentatively told me that he wanted to join them after he finished lying low in Florence, Italy. He told me it was beautiful there, but not distracting. Nothing, he told me, was as beautiful as the things he’s seen.

It seemed more of a joke than a compliment now, and I took it with a scoff, which made him smile.

In turn, I told him about the last three years, how the werewolves were starting to settle down now that the danger had passed and how I was adapting to being an adult. He smiled when I told him how I had almost managed to catch the kitchen on fire mine and Paul’s first night here, and even kept smiling when I told him Paul had to throw orange juice on it to put it out.

He could have been my best friend, but I don’t think he wanted me to be. I understood that.

We talked for a long time, because when the lock on the front door clicked and the door swung open, we hadn’t even realized it was lingering past eight o’clock yet.

Paul, in the doorway and still appearing the same, blinked.

I looked between him and Jasper for a moment before smiling to the man I loved more than anything, more than the vampire that still loved me.

“How was work?” I asked him as he hesitated in the doorway, dumping all of his things unceremoniously at the front door just as I had, where we would pick them up later. He looked from Jasper and smiled at me, leaning over and giving me a casual peck on the lips.

“Wonderful,” he replied with heavy sarcasm, smirking. Then he turned to Jasper, nodding his head. “Bloodsucker.”

I almost sighed as Jasper immediately remarked, “Mutt.”

They stared.

And then, they smiled. They had finally, finally made peace.

It took all I could not to cry at this new revelation until Jasper slowly got to his feet, looking back toward me and never looking away. I rose too as he stepped toward me and pulled me into a soft hug, not like he was clutching me desperately, but still with enough feeling for me to know he was dreading letting go. After a short moment, he did, smiling down to me.

“You know the drill,” he told me, winking before stepping away, pulling away. “I trust in him to take good care of you.”

“Don’t be too much of a stranger,” I said but knew he would probably never approach again. This would more than likely be the final time I would see him, assuredly this time.

I didn’t need him anymore. I knew I could live without him . . . so I had to let him go one final time and seize the day.

He shot me one last lingering glance before letting a smile slip over his face, shaking his head only slightly. Then he was out the door and gone into the rainy night, leaving me watching his back and wishing he would turn around. He didn’t. Eventually, he faded away.

The pressure on my heart released, and I was free.

I felt Paul’s arms wrap around my waist and his chest press against my back. He buried his head in my hair as I lingered in the open doorway, one hand on the door frame and the other on my heart. He kissed the crown of my head, drawing me back. I looked up at him, and he smiled down at me.

No one was perfect. But damn, could they be close.

“So,” Paul murmured, looking into my eyes and hypnotizing me. He leaned his forehead onto mine. “What was that about?”

I glanced off into the piece of space where Jasper had disappeared—thinking about him and his emotions and how they had torn us apart and made him someone unknown; how I had been the biggest reason of all for that battle—before turning back to Paul, putting my hand over his beating heart as I whispered, “Winning the war.”