365 Secrets

Jayden wasn’t kidding. The whole neighborhood had come to the party. Literally. Abby flitted around to everyone, introducing me and telling me who everyone was and where they lived. Just, you know, in case I got lost and needed directions I would know who to look for. I sighed. Despite my dour mood, I really did like Abby. She had worked hard on the party and was trying to get me acquainted with everyone in the neighborhood. It wasn’t her fault that I had been in a foul mood since my conversation with Jayden.

Which was where I was headed now. Abby was waving me in his direction, telling me to have fun and “meet the younger people.” With a smile she was gone, leaving me to trudge reluctantly over to Jayden. He was indeed with a group of people that I supposed would probably be my friends eventually. Unless they were smart like Jayden and chose to ignore me. At least I assumed that’s what he would do since he discovered my fraud.

Or not. When I approached the group he smiled and pulled me in closer to them. There were five teenagers sitting on the couch or standing around it. Jayden introduced them all to me, starting with the Asian girl on his left.

“Ana, meet my girlfriend Elle. She’s sixteen, just like you, so you’ll be in the same grade when we go back to school in a few weeks.” Elle smiled, giving me a little wave but staying next to Jayden.

To put it plainly, she was gorgeous. Elle had almost no makeup, but she didn’t need any. Her black hair went down to her shoulders and was poker straight with red highlights. I could see a devious gleam in her eyes as she hung onto Jayden, so clearly staking a claim that I almost wanted to put my hands up and tell her that she would have no problems from me. The boy in question didn’t seem to mind the clinginess, though, and instead motioned towards the person sitting on the left side of the couch.

“This is Duke. He just graduated this year, but he’s taking a year off to explore before he goes to college. He’s leaving for London next week.” Duke was sprawled out in his corner of the couch. He had curly blonde hair and calm green eyes that went along with his lazy smile.

“Well how do you do. It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m sorry I won’t be hanging around longer to get to know you better. But maybe we can still get together before I leave.” Duke winked then, and Jayden pointed threateningly at him.

“Hey, you better stay away from my foster sister,” he joked. I blinked in surprise at his easy use of the word “sister” and his brotherly actions. He seemed completely different from the last time I had seen him, and I wondered if I wasn’t the only multi-personality person around here.

“Anyway, his younger brother Jason is cuddling over there with Melanie. They’re both going to be sophomores this year. Just a warning, they have a tendency for PDA.” Yes, a warning. He seemed to give me a lot of those.

I looked over at the couple, who I thought were well-matched. Jason looked a lot like his brother in looks, if not expression. He seemed like one of those hyper-active tricksters, unlike his calm brother. However, though, I thought he might even be taller than Duke. Melanie was wearing a short skirt and was sitting on Jason’s lap, her legs stretched out so far that they touched Duke. Even sitting down I could tell that she herself was quite tall, and very pretty as well, if not as beautiful as Elle. Her long strawberry blonde hair fell down her back as she rested her head against Jason’s shoulder. Melanie waved hi to me with the hand that wasn’t holding Jason’s, and her boyfriend just grinned.

“Come on Jayden, we’re not that bad,” Melanie said. Even as she was talking, though, she wrapped her arms around Jason’s neck, pulling herself (if possible) even closer to him. I laughed as everyone else rolled their eyes.

“Of course you’re not, if it makes you feel better to think so. Though you seem more than comfortable to me.” Melanie glared at Jayden, but even Jason was laughing. After a moment she sighed and closed her eyes, ignoring the rest of us.

“Well I guess all that leaves is—” Jayden started, but then he was cut off.

“I’m Will. Jayden hasn’t said almost anything about you except that you don’t like shrimp, so it’s very nice to actually meet you.” Apparently Will had been standing next to me. Another total brain fart.

“I’m so glad to be meeting all of you, also. Since this loser hasn’t said anything, I hope I’ll be able to get to know all of you better in the future.” I turned to glare at Jayden while mentally wincing. Obviously he hadn’t said anything. We hadn’t talked since our, ah, discussion. Then I remembered how perceptive Jayden was, and I looked away, finding myself now looking at Will. He was standing so close that I gasped when I saw his eyes boring into mine. They were a really dark brown color and yet very warm at the same time. He had black hair like me, except his was straighter and shorter while mine was long and wavy. Will’s mouth was quirked upward in a mischievous smile, and putting the whole picture together was a muscular build. In fact he was just so, present that I didn’t know how I hadn’t seen him before he spoke up.

“Well hello there.” I blinked and leaned back a little. Will backed away, too, and I suddenly started feeling really awkward. “Alright, well, ah, we should all hang out sometime.” I turned toward the rest of the group but glanced back at Will every few seconds.

“How ‘bout we all head down to the basement and play some games?” Duke offered after a couple moments of silence. With that everyone came to life and got up to head to the basement. Melanie got off Jason’s lap, pulled him off the couch, and pulled him into a kiss. Then she skipped off towards the basement door without waiting for him to catch up. He just smiled and rolled his eyes before walking after her with a push from his brother. Then Elle dragged Jayden behind them, laughing, still hanging onto him. I took a step to follow all of them, but then I felt a hand on my shoulder, making me freeze in place.

“Could I talk to you for a moment?” I heard Will whisper in my ear. His voice sent shivers down my spine and I slowly nodded. He smiled and gestured for me to follow him. Will started heading up the stairs and I followed after, transfixed. The noise of the party faded as I headed up, and I felt far away, upstairs in the dark with Will. At the top he turned back to me and grabbed my hands in his.

“Ana, will you go out with me?” I blinked.

“No.” His eyes turned confused as I looked into them.

“Why not? I know it’s sudden and all, but I really like you. And I think I’ll like you more and more as I get to know you better.” I smiled up at him, trying to look reassuring.
“Don’t worry, I like you too. That’s why I can’t go out with you. It wouldn’t be very fair.” It was actually kind of funny. In the past I had agreed to go out with guys that I felt nothing for, but now that I liked someone, I couldn’t go out with him.

“Why isn’t it fair?” He looked honestly perplexed. Since he had the guts to ask me out and because I liked him, I decided to tell the truth. Perhaps for the first time in a while.

“I don’t open up to others. I wouldn’t open up to you, no matter how much I like you. Now don’t you think that’s unfair? Not a good sort of relationship, wouldn’t you say?” Now that there was someone I actually liked, I couldn’t do that to him. Of course not. Maybe it hurt, maybe I would regret it. Maybe I was being stupid. Maybe I—

“Don’t be ridiculous.” I looked up at him, shocked. “Saying something like that is just another way to push others away and I won’t stand for it.” I flinched, maybe understanding that he was right. Still, I tried to keep up my act.

“What are you talking about? Saying something like that to someone you don’t even know.” It was a pitiful attempt. He flicked my forehead, obviously not buying it.

“Now you’re just being silly.” Will smiled at me. “How about a deal. You slowly open up to me by telling me one of your secrets a day for a year. If at the end of that year you still think I don’t know you at all, I’ll call it quits. Every week until then I’ll keep asking you out until you give into my wily charms.” He winked at me, and I burst out laughing. That was quite a deal and he was quite a guy. I found myself nodding and smiling at him, agreeing. If I was thinking that I probably wouldn’t even be here at the end of the year, I didn’t tell him that.

“Did you just say something about ‘wily charms?’ I have seen no signs of these so-called charms.” It was all so absurd that I couldn’t believe I was agreeing to what this, to be honest, complete stranger was asking. But I had to smile to myself, glad that I was. Even if I wasn’t here to see it through.

*********

Later that night after everyone had left, I was walking back from the bathroom when Jayden intercepted me. He stood in front of me, blocking my way. I smiled hesitantly at him, but he just frowned at me.

“Is there something you’d like to tell me?” I looked at him, confused. “About Will maybe?” Oh. He had noticed. The whole night while we played Rock Band and hung out, Will had been trying to flirt with me. I wanted to smile, thinking back on it all. But this wasn’t the time.

“No. We’re not going out, if that’s what you’re getting at.” Jayden continued to look at me, unconvinced. “Besides, what business would it be of yours anyway? You seem pretty bipolar to me. When we’re alone you accuse me of all sorts of things, but when we’re around others, you’re all smiles and jokes. Honestly, just who do you think you are?” I reeled back, surprised at myself. Who did he think he was? The better question was who did I think I was? I was the one that was fake. But I was angry and worried, so I was irrational.

“I’m worried about you. I care about you, even if you don’t believe that.” I stared at Jayden in disbelief.

“You don’t know the slightest thing about me.” Well, except maybe that I was a fraud, but that just made me even more confused about his words.

“I know that you’re scared and hurt and lonely. That’s all I need to know.” He sounded like he believed his words. And that just made me angrier.

“Really now? So you don’t care to know how lonely it is to be abandoned by my family. To lose everyone. I don’t need your kind of pity. I know I’m just a stray cat that your parents took in. I’m lonely and abandoned, so you’ll take me in for a while before throwing me back out.” I had no idea what I was trying to say, and I felt bad that I was probably hurting him. And being disrespectful and mean and unreasonable and downright rude. That didn’t make me any less angry at him, but I was angrier at myself. More than usual.

“I understand how you feel. At least a little bit. Did you know that I was adopted when I was ten months old?” No, I didn’t. I stared up at him, completely shaken. The confusion got rid of most of my anger, but I tried to keep it up.

“Well, you still don’t know what it’s like to lose everyone. You didn’t know your family, so you don’t know what you lost,” I said snidely. His gaze continued steadily, not looking hurt or angry.

“I know how that feels, too. I had a sister. Not biological; she was the biological child of my adoptive parents. But she was still my sister. She was two years younger than me, and she died when she was seven. I knew her. I knew what I lost when she died.” I took a step back, horrified. I realized what a terrible thing it was for me to say those things to him. I was mad. I was angry and sad and horrified and had a feeling of wanting to pound my head against a wall. I went around him and ran back to my bedroom, slamming the door shut behind me and leaning against it. I rolled my eyes toward the ceiling, wondering why I lashed out at people when they showed me any sort of kindness. I also wondered why I hurt people and hid my true self from them.

One thing I didn’t wonder was that Jayden did care. Or rather that he thought he did. I mean, that is what brothers do after all.