Are You Questioning My Badassness?

“I can’t go in there,” Ashlyn stood outside the music room, peeping in at everyone. “They’re gonna hate my ideas.”

“You don’t even know who these people are,” I told her. “Your ideas are awesome, and I know for a fact that everyone wants to meet you.”

“Really?” Her face lit up.

“Yeah,” I took her by the hand and began to pull her towards the door. “Come on.”

She hesitated a little, but followed me into the room. Everyone looked up at us, and Mr. Schue immediately went over to her and shook her hand. “Hello there! I’m Mr. Schuester, and it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“I’m Ashlyn,” she said quietly.

“We already know,” Mason rolled his eyes. “Welcome to the losers lounge.”

“Let me quickly introduce you to the members of New Directions,” I looked around the room, and quickly pointed out people. “Rachel, Finn, Artie, Brittany, Mike, Matt, Santana, Tina, Mercedes, Kurt, Mason, Jesse, Puck, and Quinn.”

Everyone waved, and Ash waved back.

“Shall we get started?” Mr. Schue asked. “Ashlyn, you can take a seat over there next to Jesse if you want, and-“

“Mr. Schue?” Puck raised his hand.

“Yes?”

“Before we begin, I have something I prepared last night to perform today, if that’s okay with you,” he said, politely. I was pretty sure that was the most polite he had ever been.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Mr. Schuester gestured for Puck to come up to the front of the room.

He did so, taking his guitar with him. When everyone was sitting down and listening, Puck began to play his song on the guitar. I rolled my eyes as soon as I knew what it was, and just wished he would stop and sit back down. This was not necessary.

“I'm on a trip.
I can't get off, can't get over.
I want it all,
I want it all inside of you.
I call you you up.
You're getting off, I'm coming over.”

“You're 21.
I see your eyes, you're barely sober.
I hear your voice.
You're calling out, from me to you.
I pour a drink.
You move in quick, you're moving forward.”

“Then you said,
Noooo, whoahhhh!
I'm never gonna be inside of you.
And I said,
Noooo, whoahhhh!
I'm never gonna see inside of you.
Because, I know, I'm gonna fall,
And you'll be waiting for it all!
Because, I know, I know, I know…
I can't get inside of you, inside of you.”

“This fragile game,
It's like a train that's headed nowhere.
It never stops,
And I can't see the exit sign.
We're headed North.
I see the cliff, we're getting closer.”

“So, don't say that you just want to run away.
Replay all the things that I tried to say.
I'm 21,
So, you're getting off, I'm coming over.”

“Then you said,
Noooo, whoahhhh!
I'm never gonna be inside of you.
And I said,
Noooo, whoahhhh!
I'm never gonna see inside of you.
Because, I know, I'm gonna fall,
And you'll be waiting for it all!
Because, I know, I know, I know…
I can't get inside of you, inside of you.”

This was the part I dreaded the most. The singing stopped for the guitar solo, and this was when Puck came over by me and winked at me, so that I (and everyone else) knew that the whole song was about him not being able to get into my pants. I facepalmed right then and there. When the solo ended, he began to scream the next part in my face, which just made me turn extremely red. Like I said, totally unnecessary.

“I'm on a trip!
I can't get off, can't get over!
I want it all, I want it all,
Inside of you!
I call you up!
You're getting off, I'm coming over!
(Yeah, yeah, yeahhh!)”

“Noooo, whoahhhh!
I'm never gonna be inside of you.
And I said,
Noooo, woahhhh!
I'm never gonna see inside of you.
Because, I know, I'm gonna fall.
And you'll be waiting for it all.
Because, I know, I know, I know…
I can't get inside of you.”

“I know, I'm gonna fall.
And you'll be waiting for it all!
Because, I know, I know, I know…
I can't get inside of you,
Inside of you.”

“I'm on a trip!
I can't get off, can't get over!
I want it all, I want it all,
Inside of you!
I call you up!
You're getting off, I'm coming over!
(Yeah, yeah, yeahhh!)”

The song ended. The room filled with applause and a bit of laughter. Everyone else seemed to be having fun with it. My eyes stayed focused on the floor, but I could feel at least 10 pairs of eyes burning into the back of my skull. I was absolutely mortified.

“That was really, uh…nice, Puck,” Mr. Schue knew what was going on, and didn’t know what to say about it.

“Thanks,” Puck threw him a nod before walking back over to his seat.

“These are the kinds of things that happen in the Glee club, Ashlyn,” Mr. Schue chuckled as he looked over at her. She also laughed a little. I bet she was just getting a kick out of my embarrassment.

We ran over the lyrics and choreography to “We Go Together” a few times. It was going pretty well for something that had just begun. After a while, we stopped and discussed costumes. Ashlyn suggested a few small things to start us off, and listed off stores where supplies and clothing items could be found. Mr. Schue wrote some stuff down, and everyone seemed to really like her. Well, they liked her enough to invite her to the next few Glee meetings, so I figured that was enough. I mean, anyone could tell that we didn’t really enjoy welcoming newcomers (think back to when Jesse joined), but nobody really seemed to mind Ashlyn being in the room with us.

When the bell rang, I left the room immediately, not waiting up for Puck or Ashlyn or anyone. I just needed to get the fuck out of there. Sadly, I wasn’t fast enough for Puck. He ran up to me as I was trying to make my way to my locker as quick as I could.

“How’d ya like my song?” he asked me with a huge smirk on his face, expecting me to just drop my pants right there.

“Well, besides being offensive, awkward, humiliating, upsetting, and unnecessary, it also ruined any chance of you ever getting ‘inside of me’,” I told him honestly.

“Aw, come on!” he began to protest. “I was just trying to apologize for being an asshole.”

“By singing a song titled ‘Inside of You’?” I rolled my eyes. “Good job, charmer.”

“I thought you’d like it,” he looked disappointed.

“Well, you were wrong,” I informed him. “Next time try singing something a little more meaningful.”

“I’m sorry,” he tried to apologize again.

“Whatever,” I muttered.

He tried to say something else, but I ignored him and walked into the only place I knew he wouldn’t follow me – the girl’s washroom. I pushed open a stall door, sat on the toilet seat, and stayed there for the next two periods.