Are You Questioning My Badassness?

TWO WEEKS LATER

“Is everyone present?” Mr. Schuester asked as the Glee club piled onto the bus. We were on our way to Sectionals, and I was extremely nervous. Like, seriously about to have a heart attack.

Puck and I came to the conclusion that we would sit by each other on the way there, but if he pissed me off enough, I’d be sitting by myself on the way back. Recently, the two of us seemed to be getting closer. We’d hung out quite a few times ever since the whole Boardwalk thing, and we were becoming the best of friends, which I never thought would happen, especially with a guy like Puck. And surprisingly, he hadn’t tried to get into my pants ever since, although I knew for a fact that he still wanted to.

Mr. Schuester had decided that since Ashlyn was such a big help to the club, she was allowed to come and watch. She and Jesse sat in front of Puck and I, and they were gabbing away to each other about show tunes and crap. I thought it was the cutest thing ever. Jesse had turned her into a total Broadway freak. I wished they’d hurry up and date already.

Mason was sitting next to Rachel. I wasn’t entirely sure why. They hated each other just last month, and now it seemed like they were really hitting it off. This also meant that Mason and I were growing further and further apart, which sucked.

Once everyone was on the bus, Mr. Schue counted, and when he got the number he was looking for, he told the bus driver that we were ready to go. And a few minutes later, we were on our way to Sectionals. Yay.

Well, the bus ride was extremely long, especially since I was seated right next to Puck. He was playing Super Mario on his PSP, and he kept yelling things at the game so that I couldn’t concentrate on anything else. I tried to run through the lyrics for the songs we were doing, but it was impossible with Puck screaming “Oh, shit! Nononono!” right next to me.

When we were about fifteen minutes from the building we’d be performing at, Mr. Schue turned around and made us all practice our lyrics. I grabbed Puck’s PSP and as he watched me, horrified, I put it into my own costume bag.

As the building came into sight, everyone began to freak out like we were all going to get ten inch needles. The bus pulled up by the front door, and we all grabbed our costume bags before heading off the bus and into the building.

“Alright, everyone!” Mr. Schue clapped his hands once we were all in the lobby. “I’ve just found out that we’re the last to perform, so we’re going to go to change into our costumes and practice until it’s time to go on.”

“Shouldn’t we conserve our energy?” Jesse cut him off. “I mean, if we practice now, we’ll be wasting our energy before the performance and when we’re up on stage we’ll easily become tired. I’ve been there.”

“Of course you have,” Quinn rolled her eyes.

“No, he’s right,” Mr. Schue spoke up. “We can’t waste our energy on practicing before the performance. So, we’ll get into our costumes and listen to the other performances until it’s time for us to go on.”

Instead of arguing, we all made our way to the bathrooms to get changed. I rummaged through my costume bag until I found the first piece of my costume, a pink poodle skirt. I slipped into it, and then a white t-shirt after it. I also found a pink cardigan in my bag, and threw that on, too. When I was fully dressed in my costume, I looked in the mirror, and it looked like a few things were missing. I dug through the bag again, hauled out some cute pink heels, and put them on. I also put my hair into a high ponytail and found a pink bow to put in my hair. I looked super 60’s, and I loved it.

I exited the bathroom at the same time as Santana, who was dressed the exact same as me. She pretty much shot daggers at me with her eyes. “Nice costume, Nova. It really brings out your…nevermind.” She threw me a disgusted look.

“Thanks!” I grinned, showing her that I didn’t really care what she had to say about me. “It’s also good to see that the skirt is able to cover up chicken legs.”

She put her hand over her mouth as if to ask me if I really went there.

“Seriously,” I began. “Eat something. You’re gross.” And with that, I walked away, making my way to the green room to meet up with the others.

When I got there, Ashlyn, Jesse, Tina, Finn, Rachel, Quinn, Mike and Matt were already sitting around the room. All of the girls were wearing the same costumes, and the boys were also dressed the same. They wore white wife-beaters underneath leather jackets, along with blue jeans and biker boots. They had their hair slicked back with about twenty-five bottles of gel each. I smiled as I glanced around the room at everyone, but the smile turned upside down when I heard a Glee club version of Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb” coming from a speaker on the wall. It actually sounded really good, which made me extremely nervous.

The rest of New Directions walked into the green room, having the exact same reaction as I did when I entered the room. I noticed Puck walking towards me, looking fine as hell in his costume.

“Lookin’ good, babe,” he winked as he approached me.

“I know,” I replied, cheerfully.

“So, you think we’re gonna take that trophy?” he asked.

“Well, from what I’m hearing from that speaker…no,” I told him, truthfully. His face dropped. “But we’ve got to have confidence!” I added quickly.

“What’s confidence gonna do if we know we can’t win?” he frowned.

“If we don’t have confidence, it’ll lessen our chances of winning even more,” I tried to explain, but giving people advice on performance was Jesse’s area of expertise.

“Listen up!” Mr. Schue attempted to get our attention by standing on a chair. “Vocal Adrenaline has one more song left to do, and then we’re on. You guys ready?”

“As ready as we’re gonna be, Mr. Schue,” Finn nodded nervously.

“Well, let’s go backstage and prepare for when Vocal Adrenaline are finished,” he opened the door to a long hallway that led backstage. Each one of us left the green room, nearly pissing ourselves out of fear.

All I could hear was the sound of my own heart beating violently in my chest and Vocal Adrenaline performing their last number, which was a flawless rendition of Corey Hart’s “Sunglasses at Night”. I literally peeked out behind the curtain, trying to pick out some sort of imperfection, but couldn’t find one. Even their outfits were amazing. The guys wore dark grey boot-cut jeans with black shoes. They wore teal shirts with ruffled cuffs, along with a navy blue bow tie. Over that, they wore dark gray vests, and each one of them was wearing an old-fashioned pocket watch. The girls, on the other hand, looked very formal, wearing long teal dresses with beautiful spirals starting off small on the top and gradually getting bigger near the bottom. The dresses pretty much turned into ball gowns near the waist, where they puffed out like something out of Cinderella. The girls also wore grey heels and pearl necklaces with small clocks in the middle. And of course, the whole group wore sunglasses.

“We’re going to die out there,” I whispered to Mason, who was standing right next to me.

“Happy thoughts, happy thoughts,” he took deep breaths. “Streisand, hair products, Streisand, Les Miserables, Streisand.”

I focused on my own “happy thoughts”, which was completely different from Mason’s. Heavy metal, porn, heavy metal, Subway, porn.

Vocal Adrenaline’s song ended way too quickly, and now it was our turn. I nearly fainted from the thought overload I was having. Puck approached me once more and hauled me into a hug. “You look like you’re going to have a baby.”

“I’d probably be worrying less,” I told him, honestly.

“Calm down,” he smiled a little. “You’re going to do fine. We’re all going to do fine. We’re gonna win this shit.”

“How can you be so sure?” I raised an eyebrow.

“I slept with one of the judges,” he said, seriously. My face dropped, and he burst into laughter. “Just kidding.”

“Alright, guys,” Mr. Schue spoke up. “Everyone, get into your places. The curtain’s going up in five…four…three…two…one!”

The curtain slowly began to rise just as everyone was in their positions. I stared out into the audience, realizing that there were a lot more people than I thought. The band began to play the short intro to the first song on our setlist, and we started singing almost immediately.

Everyone:
“Grease is the word,
…is the word.
…is the word.
…is the word.
…is the word.
…is the word.
…is the word.”

Finn:
“I saw my problems, and I see the light.
We got a lovin’ thing, we gotta feed it right.”

Rachel:
“There ain’t no danger, we can go too far.
We start believin’ now, that we can be who we are…”

Finn and Rachel:
“Grease is the word.”

Jesse:
“They think our love is just a growin’ pain.
Why don’t they understand? It’s just a cryin’ shame.”

Santana:
“Their lips are lyin’, only real is real.
We stop to find right now, we got to be what we feel…”

Jesse and Santana:
“Grease is the word.”

Boys:
“Grease is the word, is the word that you heard.
It’s got groove, it’s got meaning.”

Girls:
“Grease is the time, is the place, is the motion.
Grease is the way we are feelin’!”

We all started snapping our fingers to the tune of the next part of the medley.

Kurt:
“Summer lovin’, had me a blast.”

Quinn:
“Summer lovin’, happened so fast.”

Kurt:
“I met a girl, crazy for me.”

Quinn:
“Met a boy, cute as can be.”

Kurt and Quinn:
“Summer days, driftin’ away,
To uh, oh, those summer nights.”

Mike and Matt:
“Well-a, well-a, well-a, huh!”

Boys:
“Tell me more, tell me more.
Did you get very far?”

Girls:
“Tell me more, tell me more,
Like does he have a car?”

Everyone:
“Ah ha, ah ha, ah ha, ah ha.”

Artie:
“She swam by me, she got a cramp.”

Tina:
“He ran by me, got my suit damp.”

Artie:
“I saved her life, she nearly drowned!”

Tina:
“He showed off, splashin’ around.”

Artie and Tina:
“Summer sun, something’s begun,
But uh, oh, those summer nights.”

Mike and Matt:
“Well-a, well-a, well-a, huh!”

Girls:
“Tell me more, tell me more.
Was it love at first sight?”

Boys:
“Tell me more, tell me more.
Did she put up a fight?”

Rachel and Brittany:
“Dom, do-be do, do-be do, do-be do, be do-be.
Dom, do-be do, do-be do, do-be do, be do-be.”

Everyone:
“Shu-da bop bop, shu-da bop bop, shu-da bop bop, shu-da bop bop,
Shu-da bop bop, shu-da bop bop, shu-da bop bop baaaaaaaaa.”

As that part of the medley ended, a new one began. Each person took another’s hand (Puck took mine, of course), and began dancing around the stage.

Everyone:
“We go together,
Like rama lama lama, ka ding-a da ding a dong.”

“Remembered forever,
As shoo-bop sha-wadda wadda yi-pity boom de-boom.”

“Chang chang, changity chang, shoo-bop.
That’s the way it should be.
Wah-oo, yeah!”

Girls:
“We’ll always…be together…
We’ll always…be togther…
We’ll…always…be…to…geth…er…”

That song faded off and went straight into another one. We all swayed back and forth and tried our hardest not to fall.

Everyone:
“La la la, la la la la la, la.
La la la, la la la la la, la.
La la la, la la la la la, la.
Rock ‘n’ roll party queen!”

Mason:
“Little girl, do you know what I mean?”

Mercedes:
“Pretty soon, she’ll be seventeen.”

Mason:
“They tell me, her name’s Betty Jean, the ha, ha-“

Matt:
“Rock ‘n’ roll party queen!”

Mike:
“Friday night, and she’s got a date.”

Brittany:
“Goin’ places, just a stayin’ out late.”

Mike:
“Droppin’ dimes in the record machine, a ho, ho-“

Matt:
“Rock ‘n’ roll party queen!”

Rachel:
“Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, oh no!
Can I have the car tonight?”

Mason:
“Baby, baby, can I be the one to love you with all of my might?”

Rachel and Mason:
“Ay, yi, yi, yi!”

Artie, Brittany, Mercedes, Matt:
“Rockin’ and a rollin’ little party queen.
Gonna do the stroll, little party queen.
Ya know we love you so, hey, party queen.”

Everyone:
“You’re a rockin’…and a rollin’…party queeeeeeen!”

That song was over, and it was time for the last part of the medley before we moved on to a new song. I sang a lot in this next one, so I was convinced that I was going to throw up all over the place. At the same time, I thought, Alright, Nova, this is your chance…this is your time to shine.

Puck:
“I got chills, they’re multiplyin’!
And I’m loooosin’ control.
‘Cause the power you’re supplyin’…
It’s electrifyin’!”

Finn, Kurt, Mike:
“Electrifyin’! Electrifyin’!”

Me:
“You better shape up!
‘Cause I need a man,
And my heart is set on you!”

“You better shape up!
You better understand!
To my heart, I must be true!”

Me and Puck:
“Nothin’ left, nothin’ left for me to do!”

Me:
“You’re the one that I want!”
Mercedes:
“You, ooh, ooh!
Honey!”
Me:
“The one that I want!”
Me:
“You, ooh, ooh!
Honey!”
Me:
“The one that I want!
You, ooh, ooh, are what I need,
Oh yes, indeed!”

Me:
“You’re the one that I want!”
Mercedes:
“You, ooh, ooh!
Honey!”
Me:
“The one that I want!”
Mercedes:
“You, ooh, ooh!
Honey!”
Me:
“The one that I want!
You, ooh, ooh, are what I need,
Oh yes, indeed!”

Everyone:
“You’re the one that I want!”

The audience was on their feet, clapping, whistling, the works. I grinned over at the rest of the club, who wore the exact same expression as me. Rachel walked up to the front of the stage and gestured to the rest of us. “Ladies and gentlemen…the New Directions!”

After just a moment, a new song began and all of us girls stood to the side, swaying, as the boys took over the stage. All of them got down on their knees and gave us pleading looks before starting off the song with the chorus.

Boys:
“You're way too beautiful, girl…
That's why it will never work.
You had me suicidal, suicidal,
When you say it's over.”

Puck approached me on the stage and started singing his part to me, using lots of facial expression and emotion. I had to admit, he was a good actor. My job consisted of standing there, rolling my eyes, and pretending to blow him off. (Heh…)

Puck:
“See, it started at the park, used to chill after dark.
Oh, when you took my heart, that's when we fell apart.
‘Cause we both thought, that love could last forever.”
Rest of boys:
“(Last forever.)”

Finn walked over to Rachel and tried to wrap his arms around her, and as much as I knew she didn’t want to resist, she simply put her hand up and pushed him away.

Finn:
“They say we're too young, to get ourselves sprung.
Oh, we didn't care, we made it very clear.
And they also said, that we couldn't last together.”
Rest of boys:
“(Last together.)”

Artie wheeled himself over to Tina and blew her a kiss. She folded her arms and looked the other way.

Artie:
“See, it's very divine, you're one of a kind.
But you're much on my mind, you often get decline.
Oh, lord, my baby is driving me crazy.”

Boys:
“You're way too beautiful, girl.
That's why it will never work.
You had me suicidal, suicidal,
When you say it's over.
Damn all these beautiful girls…
They only wanna do you dirt.
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal,
When they say it's over.”

Matt advanced toward Santana, who surprisingly didn’t rip off her clothes and have sex with him on the stage. She turned around, though, and shook her ass, being a “tease”.

Matt:
“It was back in ‘99, watching movies all the time.
Oh, when I went away for doing my first crime…
And I never thought, that we was gonna see each other.”
Rest of boys:
“(See each other.)”

Mike danced his way over to Brittany, who just stood there with a blank look on her face, not knowing what to do. So, she danced back at him. It took me so much effort not to facepalm.

Mike:
“And then I came out, mommy move me down south.
Oh, I'm with my girl who I thought was my world.
It came out to me, that she wasn't the girl for me.”

Mr. Schue had forced Jesse to partner up with Quinn for Sectionals. She wasn’t too fond of the idea, but was okay with it when she realized that she got to turn him down. He slowly walked towards her, desperately trying to take the “I don’t wanna do this” look off of his face. She just snorted and rolled her eyes, putting a hand up to his face.

Jesse:
“See, it's very divine, you're one of a kind.
But you're much on my mind, you often get decline.
Oh, lord, my baby is driving me crazy.”

Kurt skipped over to Mercedes, who immediately began snapping her fingers at him like no tomorrow.

Kurt:
“Now we are fussing and now we are fighting.
Please tell me why, I'm feeling slighted.
And I don't know, how to make it better.”
Rest of boys:
“(Make it better.)”

Mason didn’t have anyone to walk to, so he just stood in the center of the stage and shrugged, pretending to look around and be confused.

Mason:
“You're dating other guys, you're telling me lies.
Oh, I can't believe what I'm seeing with my eyes.
I'm losing my mind and I don't think it's clever.”
Rest of boys:
“(Think it's clever.)”

The end of the song was nearing, so the guys toned down the last part a little and snapped their fingers to the beat while winking at us girls.

Boys:
“You're way too beautiful, girl…
That's why it will never work.
You had me suicidal, suicidal.
When you say it's over.
Damn all these beautiful girls…
They only wanna do you dirt.
They'll have you suicidal... suicidal.”

At the end of the song, all of the boys walked over to us girls, who’d spent the last 3 and a half minutes swaying. Each guy picked up a girl (Puck obviously had picked me up), twirled around the stage, and laid the girl on the floor, where we sat indian style as the intro to the next song began. We quickly stood up and pretty much tore the elastics out of our hair, letting it loose and shaking our hair around. We also frantically shook our poodle skirts and hauled them up so that everyone could almost see our panties. The guys stood on the side like the girls just had, and they stared (which was part of the plan, although I knew they didn’t have to act that part out considering everyone in our club were perverts, besides Kurt). And then the singing began.

Rachel:
“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like, ‘It's better than yours’.
Damn right, it's better than yours.
I can teach you, but I have to charge.”

Quinn:
“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like, ‘It's better than yours’.
Damn right, it's better than yours.
I can teach you, but I have to charge.”

I didn’t think she had it in her, but Tina went up to Mike and turned so that she was back on to him. She then lifted her skirt almost all the way up and did a little kick before starting to sing.

Tina:
“I know you want it.
The thing that makes me…
What the guys go crazy for.
They lose their minds.
The way I wind.
I think it's time.”

Brittany and Santana sang the next part to each other, feeling themselves up the whole time. Surprise, surprise.

Brittany:
“La la la la la.”
Santana:
“Warm it up.”
Brittany:
“La la la la la.”
Santana:
“The boys are waiting.”
Brittany:
“La la la la la.”
Santana:
“Warm it up.”
Brittany:
“La la la la la.”
Santana:
“The boys are waiting.”

Rachel and Quinn also sang their parts to each other, looking like they were competing for something (hmm, that’s a real mystery). Honestly, they had so much anger and emotion in their performance, I was sure that one of them would throw a punch.

Rachel:
“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like, ‘It's better than yours’.
Damn right, it's better than yours.
I can teach you, but I have to charge.”

Quinn:
“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like, ‘It's better than yours’.
Damn right, it's better than yours.
I can teach you, but I have to charge.”

Mercedes did some more finger snappin’ before she just broke it down on the floor, booty shakin’ and all.

Mercedes:
“I can see you're on it.
You want me to teach the…
Techniques that freaks these boys.
It can't be bought.
Just know thieves get caught.
Watch if you're smart.”

Brittany:
“La la la la la.”
Santana:
“Warm it up.”
Brittany:
“La la la la la.”
Santana:
“The boys are waiting.”
Brittany:
“La la la la la.”
Santana:
“Warm it up.”
Brittany:
“La la la la la.”
Santana:
“The boys are waiting.”

Rachel:
“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like, ‘It's better than yours’.
Damn right, it's better than yours.
I can teach you, but I have to charge.”

Quinn:
“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like, ‘It's better than yours’.
Damn right, it's better than yours.
I can teach you, but I have to charge.”

When my part rolled around, I didn’t do much. I felt that I was too awkward, so I just to make hand gestures to go along with what I was saying. I hoped that would work.

Me:
“And once you get involved,
Everyone will look this way so…
You must maintain your charm,
Same time maintain your halo.
“Just get the perfect blend.
Plus what you have within.
Then next his eyes are squint.
Then he's picked up your scent.”

Brittany:
“La la la la la.”
Santana:
“Warm it up.”
Brittany:
“La la la la la.”
Santana:
“The boys are waiting.”
Brittany:
“La la la la la.”
Santana:
“Warm it up.”
Brittany:
“La la la la la.”
Santana:
“The boys are waiting.”

The song was coming to an end, so us girls rushed over to the guys and wrapped our arms around their necks, forcibly pulling them towards us. I noticed a spark in Puck’s eye as I grabbed him, like he thought I was doing this because I wanted to. I winked at him, letting him believe what he wanted…for now.

Girls:
“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like, ‘It's better than yours’.
Damn right, it's better than yours.
I can teach you, but I have to charge.”

“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
And they're like, ‘It's better than yours’.
Damn right, it's better than yours.
I can teach you, but I have to charge.”

We all ended off our song in sexual positions. It took me a few moments to realize that the audience was cheering and on their feet, because the sound of my own heartbeat was distracting me. We all took a bow and waved to the crowd before excitedly heading off of the stage and back to the green room to wait for the results. Now that we were done and I knew that we’d put our heart and soul into it, I was confident that we would win.