Are You Questioning My Badassness?

“That looks like it hurts,” Jo nodded towards the cut that had formed on my upper lip after Ryder had punched me.

“It does a little,” I replied, and then walked over to the bed to get my jeans. “Thanks for saving me.”

“It’s what I do,” she chuckled. She had a raspy voice, but it wasn’t unattractive or anything. It was kind of cute. “What happened anyway?”

I told her what exactly had happened as I put my jeans back on and checked my phone. When I finished telling her everything from how cocky Puck was, to how big of an asshole Ryder was, she snorted. “This is what happens when you attend Santana’s parties.”

“I know. This is the first one I’ve been to, and probably the last one,” I admitted, and then eyed her. “So, how do you know Santana?”

“I don’t. Just heard she’s a slut,” Jo shrugged.

“Oh, she is,” I nodded in agreement. “Not to mention a conniving bitch.”

“Sounds like someone I’d like……..to beat the shit out of.”

“I like you already,” I smiled.

“So, are you leaving?” Jo asked me, noticing that I was clutching my cell phone.

“Yeah. I don’t belong here,” I told her.

“Not with that attitude,” she winked. “Come on, let’s go downstairs and have a few drinks.”

“Nah, I really ought to be getting home,” I mumbled as I put my phone back in my pocket. “Thanks for everything.”

“Come onnnn,” she gave me a pleading look. “You do kind of owe me now.”

I knew that if I went home, leaving Jo all alone, I’d feel shitty about it. I sighed. “Fine. One drink. Then, I’m gone.”

“We’ll see,” Jo smirked as she opened up the bedroom door.

We both headed downstairs together, and into the kitchen. Jo poured us both a drink, and we took a seat on some stools and chatted about our lives. I found out within the span of ten minutes that Jo and I liked the same music…Paramore, Flyleaf, Avenged Sevenfold, Taking Back Sunday… and we both also shared an obsession with Steven Tyler.

We were getting into a conversation about our favorite Johnny Depp movies, when I heard a familiar voice talking loudly, even with music blasting. I turned around to see none other than Ryder pointing at me. He was talking to Dave Karofsky for some reason, and I guessed he was surprised to see me. He walked over to where Jo and I were sitting and began to laugh. “So, you’re out of the closet now, huh?” He stopped and looked at the badass chick beside me. “That your girlfriend?”

How could he even think about coming up to me just after trying to rape me? What a clueless douche. I glared up at him with fiery eyes, ready to go apeshit on him. Jo, however, had a different approach.

“Oh yes,” she smiled politely, taking my hand into hers. “We’ve been together for two years now.” She then paused and began to speak in a much louder voice, so that everyone around her could hear. “SO, THE NEXT TIME YOU DECIDE YOU WANT TO RAPE A LESBIAN…DON’T.”

It took so much effort not to burst into laughter, especially at his reaction and the reactions of the people around him, but I contained myself long enough to stand up. I looked Ryder dead in the eyes. “And if you think this isn’t going to the cops, you’re sadly mistaken.” I mean, of course I wasn’t going to bring it to the cops, since I had like…no evidence…but scaring the guy wouldn’t hurt.

I grabbed Jo’s hand, and we both left the room, entering another. People were dancing and grinding left and right, and to be honest, I felt a little nauseous. But I shook it off, and began to non-dirty dance with Jo to some techno song. I knew I should’ve probably gone home, but I also knew that after the scare with Ryder, it might be fun night after all, due to my newly-made friend.

I saw Santana enter the same room as us with a guy hanging off of her. She turned off the music and yelled over everyone. “ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP!”

All heads turned toward her, and I was guessing that she was going to state that the cops were on their way or something, especially considering how out-of-hand the party was getting.

“Just wanted to let you guys know that there’s a game of ‘I Never’ going on out in the other room,” she smiled a little before turning back around and receiving a slap on the ass from the guy she was with.

“Wanna play?” Jo asked.

“I’ve never played it before,” I replied with a shrug.

“It’s easy. You’ll catch on just like that,” she snapped. “Let’s give it a try.”

We both walked into the dining room where at least 10-12 people were sat around, each one holding a shot glass. Santana was at the head of the table, wearing that devious grin she always wore, which let us know that she was up to something.

“Alright, here’s the rules for any beginners,” she shot me a look. “I give a statement starting with ‘I never’, and if you’ve done it, you take a shot. Whoever can take the most shots without puking, wins.”

“I don’t like the sound of this game,” I whispered to Jo.

“It can either be your favorite game, or your least favorite game. Depends on how you play,” she replied.

“Alright, I’ll start,” Santana tapped her glass with a spoon to get our attention. “I never…had sex in my life.”

Everyone around me took a shot. I glanced over at Jo and saw that she was looking hesitant as she tipped the shot glass back into her mouth. Of course, I had to be the only virgin at the table.

“Well,” Santana began when she was done taking her shot. She gave me a pathetic smile and pointed at me. “Looks like we already know who the winner may be.”

“Obviously it can’t be you,” Jo spoke to her. “A slut never wins.”

“Excuse me?” Santana’s eyes widened. So did mine. I couldn’t believe what had just come out of Jo’s mouth. Everyone else in the room was looking at her, too, as if to say “way to go” for standing up to Santana.

“You heard me,” Jo replied. “But in case there’s too much jizz in your ears, I called you a slut.”

Santana jumped up out of her chair. “You want to say it to my face?”

“Sure!” Jo walked over to her and looked right into Santana’s eyes, which were shooting daggers back into Jo’s. “Slut.”

Santana raised her right hand and slapped Jo across the face. Jo gave her a “nuh uh” look before grabbing her by the hair and kneeing her in the crotch. Santana fell to the floor, dragging Jo down with her. Everyone was yelling and laughing and cheering as the two rolled around with their hands quite busy trying to choke each other. Eventually, with the right movement, Jo crawled on top of Santana and started to punch the living daylights out of her. I wouldn’t have minded so much if Jo wasn’t wearing rings…

I just stood there, not really knowing what to do. After a few seconds of watching what could’ve easily turned into a visit to the hospital, I grabbed Jo and hauled her up and away from the real problem.

Santana stood up right after and tried to lunge at Jo, but somebody had already hauled her back. It was probably a good thing, because by the look of the blood from Santana’s face dripping on her floor, I decided that Jo could really do some damage.

I looked up at Jo, who was breathing a little heavily. She and Santana had a staredown before Santana spoke two simple words: “Get. Out.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Jo replied with a cheerful smile. She then looked around the house, giving it a disgusted look. “I’d rather not be here anyway. This place makes me feel dirtier by the second.”

Santana repeated her words once more, and Jo just shrugged before walking out of the room. I followed her as she quietly poured herself another drink before exiting the front door and sitting on Santana’s front lawn. I took a seat beside her.

“Did I mention that you’re my favorite person in the world right now?” I laughed.

“Bitch should’ve saw what was coming to her,” Jo smiled a little bit and took a swig of whatever she’d poured. “I mean, when you act like that, you should know that someone is going to punch you in the face eventually…then again, she seems kind of clueless.”

“She is,” I confirmed it, as if it needed confirmation. “Well, anyway, thanks for sticking up for me. I’d do it myself, but I don’t like to start shit.”

“I definitely do,” Jo nodded. “Especially with bitches who deserve it.”

“Clearly…” I gave a small chuckle. “So, what are your plans for the rest of the night?”

She shrugged. “Honestly, I have no idea. I’m probably gonna sit here until I sober up.”

“Well,” I said, taking the cup from her hand. “This is not going to help.” I poured the drink out onto the grass beside me and threw the cup in Santana’s flower garden.

“What about you?” Jo asked.

“Well, I came here with Puck, and I’m pretty sure he left, so I’m also screwed over.”

She rubbed her chin and put on a thinking face, and eventually looked over at me. “Wanna split a cab?”