Hey There, Delilah

It was freshman year and there was the excitement of finally becoming a high schooler, the fears of the homework and upper class man, the nerve-wracking first day with that schedule clasped tight in your hands as you attempt to find your first class.

September 7, 2007, I met Alexander Graham. He was a senior, and looking back on it, I can't believe I was such an idiot. Seniors aren't interested in freshman for anything other than using them...if you catch my drift.

Maybe it was his Australian accent and charming comments that made me melt into a puddle whenever he said something to me, or that blonde hair contrasting against tan skin and bright, pale blue eyes.

He was that guy, the one girls swooned over, but if they knew what I did now. If they knew who he was behind that gilded, shiny facade...

It started with a simple date. I was standing at my locker attempting not to notice how Alex wandered down the hallway aimlessly in my direction. I attempted to keep myself from hyperventilating and I was seconds away from grabbing the lunch bag perched on the shelf in my locker when he leaned against the door shutting it.

"Hey there," he said, voice smooth, accent thick.

My legs turned to jelly and incoherent thoughts pushed their way into my mind, "Uh, hi."

"Do you happen to be available tonight at seven?" The way his blue eyes sparkled, how a dimple appeared in only his left cheek...I melted into a puddle at his feet.

I didn't even know what the question was when I answered, "Yes."

"Awesome, I'll pick you up then." Turning on his heel, but not before winking at me, Alex disappeared down the hallway and Ben tapped my shoulder. He said something, but all I saw was his lips moving, no sound coming out. My head was light and I just smiled, "I have a date with Alexander Graham."

I thought it would be the best night of my life. I was wrong. So very wrong.

<<>>

At seven sharp that Friday night, a red Toyota truck pulled into the driveway, sending me into a panicked frenzy when I still hadn't finished my make-up. The doorbell rang and mom yelled upstairs for me to get my butt downstairs.

I neglected eyeshadow, considering my time constraints and the fact that if I didn't want Alex high tailing it out of my driveway the second either of my parents started in on the embarrassing parenting thing they do, I sprinted down the stairs, slipping on my flip-flops along the way.

Tripping on the last step and stumbling into the living room, hair falling over my face, I smiled at Alex and ushered my mom out of the room, "You and dad are heading for the city tonight for your anniversary, right?" I wanted to make sure that

My mom smiles and nods, "Yup, we'll be back Sunday afternoon at the latest. I told Meg's mom to keep an eye on you, alright? And don't stay out too late!" Her tone was parental, but the sparkle in her eye when I blushed at Alex wrapping an arm around my waist evaporated any of her seriousness.

You'd think she'd never thought her freshman daughter would end up on a date.

Well, I sure proved her wrong didn't I?

By the time Alex and I made it outside, my heart was pounding against my chest and I was so sure he could hear it. He must have, the sound of it was deafening even in my own ears.

"Nervous?" He asked, a smirk forming that dimple in his cheek. I looked down at my hands, how they were balled into fists, my nails digging into my palms, leaving little crescent indents.

I swallow and think of something clever to say, "People always have to be prepared to defend themselves."

He laughs, but inside my head I'm not focusing on the sound of his laugh like I normally would, but more or less the fact that what I said was completely and utterly embarrassing. Was that really the best I could come up with?

"Gotta defend yourself from me, eh?" He drums his fingers on the wheel of his car, something changing in the tone of his voice.

I smile, slowly relaxing into the leather of his car seat, "Maybe."

He doesn't say anything to that as he continues to drive, the silence suffocating in the small cab of the truck. Alex reaches forward instinctively and turns on the radio, mindlessly flipping through the stations.

When nothing decent is on, he settles back into the seat, letting the irritating commercials play.

"I'm surprised you haven't asked where we're going yet," he states, glancing quickly at me.

I consider this and shrug, "It hadn't really crossed my mind to ask..."

"Huh," he says, casually placing a hand on my knee and my entire body stiffens, every thought in my brain freezing the second his cool finger tips met my skin.

"Oh, hey there," I say uncomfortably, not one-hundred percent sure what to do in a situation like this.

"Oh, Delly, you're so funny." His fingers graze higher up my leg before stopping and moving to my arm.

I shiver. No matter that it's eighty degrees outside, his finger tips are ice cold against my skin. They're icicles refusing to melt, piercing me whenever they can.

I don't move or even say anything in reply as we pull into a driveway of a house with cars already lining the street. "A party?" I ask, somewhat surprised.

"Only the best one," Alex replies winking at me.

My heart stutters but when we get out and he puts his arm around my waist, senior girls giving me envious glares, I soak up the entire night. I soak up feeling known, even if it is just who I was with.

The music was reverberating in the house, the windows shaking slightly to the bass of the music and a keg was visible in the kitchen. Alex led us over to it and filled up a beer for each of us. I tried to act cool, like I knew what I was doing.

I took a sip from the red Solo cup, the warm, broth-like taste snaking down my throat. Fighting back a wince at the disgusting odor it left under my nose, I said hi to kids who were in my economics class or gym.

It had never occurred to me that I never actually saw them outside of the school parameters. It never occurred to me to get to know them, to hang out with them.

Alright, so these types of parties weren't exactly my scene, but still. I could have made an effort.

I take another sip of my drink and one drink turns into another, one dance with Alex blurs into one that seems almost identical to the one previous that. Everything's spinning, fuzzy, more exciting.

By ten that night, I was so far gone I probably couldn't even remember my own name.

Alex and I ended up outside on the front lawn, laughing uncontrollably and staring up at the sky. It was nice, if you ignored the people hooking up behind us, thinking they were being sneaky in the bushes.

I played with the sleeve of Alex's shirt, before rolling onto my back, "I'm having a weaalllllyyy good time," I slur, the words sounding foreign even to my own ears.

"I know how we can have a better one," Alex says, crushing me against him, lips meeting mine.

All that can process in my ignorant, intoxicated mind is that Alex is kissing me. Alex Graham - a senior - is my first kiss.

But I sober up slightly as his hands run up my back, down to my legs and landing around my butt. I pull away, sitting up slightly, "Not now."

Alex pouts, his breath blowing clouds of wheat-smelling mint into my face. "C'mon, baby..."

"I - I'm serious," I stutter, afraid he might try to force me even after all of this. My fear is in vain, however, because he just groans and lays on his back, "Fine...do you want to head back home?"

I look at my cell phone and my eyes widen in surprise when I realize it's already two in the morning, "Sure...but you're drunk." I hiccup, reminding me that I was, too. "You can't drive."

Hiccup.

"Of course I can." He stands up, wobbling slightly before stumbling toward his truck. I sigh and follow, the full force of my exhaustion hitting me by the time I reach his passenger side door. I was too tired to argue with him at this point.

The truck roars to life and I start to doze off in the seat, the car jerking forward and down the road. "You know," he slurs, "I'm disappointed."

I open one eye at him, "Hm? And why's that?"

"'Cause I asked you hear tonight for an easy lay...and that didn't happen." His tone was dark, and I swallowed, that same fear returning, churning the alcohol that already laid uneasily in my stomach.

"Huh," I all I say.

"Prude little freshman," he mumbles, "What are you gonna do?"

I roll my eyes and say the first words that come to my lips, "Little man whore senior...what are you gonna do?"

Alex slams on the breaks at a red light, "Excuse me?"

I should have stopped there, but my incoherent, drunk mind wouldn't let me. The beer opened a new door in my brain, a room full of confidence...and idiocy. "So you can insult me but I can't insult you?"

"Damn straight!" He yells, "You're a little worthless freshman who thinks I could actually be interested in someone like you. News flash you little --."

I point a finger at him, "Shut your trap and drive. Just because I'm younger than you does not mean I will take any of this upper class man shit."

The sound of the punch is really all I remember about that one moment in the car. I sat there, my head smacking against the window with the force, and I stare at Alex. His blue eyes are red - from the alcohol or from anger, I'm not sure.

The light turns green and it's much more blinding than it should be. Something warm starts dripping from the back of my head and I tentatively lift my fingers toward it before bringing it forward again and watching the red liquid reflect in the intermittent street lights.

Alex isn't paying attention when he ran a red light, as he was already swerving slightly from being drunk, and I turned to look at him, headlights formed a silhouette around his face, blue-red eyes wide.

I closed my eyes, waiting for impact.

Sometime between the other car hitting us and before I passed out, I realize I was on the solid pavement. The familiar warm wetness spilling out around me.

There were sirens. Shouting. Alex groaned beside me and I shifted slightly, before stopping abruptly in pain.

I wanted this to be a dream. I wanted the bruise forming on my cheek the size of Alex's fist to be fake. I wanted to be home - not remembering his icy fingers on my thigh, his insults he spat toward me.

I wanted to be sucked into the ground, into the darkness. And that's what happened.

<<>>

"...Lost a lot of blood, but she seems to be stable now. Should be waking up shortly...10 milligrams of morphine..."

There was this incessant beeping noise, intelligent talk that only sounded like something a doctor would say, and a tight grasp on my hand.

The first though that passed through my mind was that it was my mother. She would know I got drunk. She would know I let a belligerent senior drive.

She would know he punched me.

When my eyes opened slowly, but it wasn't my mother's brunette head that I saw. It was a blonde one. I squeezed her hand, a reluctant smile pulling at my lips and Meghan's gaze shot toward mine in surprise. "Del! You're awake! Oh my god, I was so worried...they said you had a high alcohol level. You were drunk? And with Alex?"

I didn't know where to begin, but she continued talking anyway. "You lost a lot of blood, but apparently I'm the same type as you, so I donated some. Cool, huh? Some of me is somewhere in you right now." She smiled but it didn't quite reach her chocolate brown eyes. "I...I thought you were gonna die."

"But I'm right here. Alive. Is Alex...?" I didn't even know why I was asking about that ass.

"He's fine, woke up a few hours ago." Meghan runs a panicked hand through her hair, "How could you have been so damn stupid?"

I sigh, spilling out the entire night to her. By the end, I was in near tears and Meghan held me. "Your mom doesn't know. The nurses put you under a false name because I asked. I won't tell your parents. They won't know."

I silently thanked god before turning to her and saying, "I owe you my life."

And it was the truth.