Growing Up Won't Bring Us Down

Johnny excused himself from the couple and stood from the couch. Matt, Kell, and Johnny had been watching some action movie, but Johnny’s mind had been swarming around many different thoughts. All of which had his attention more than that low budget film.

“Are you okay?” Kell asked concernedly. Johnny smiled softly and nodded.

“Never better.” He left the room and headed up the stairs. He never thought he’d feel so much like a guest in his own home. He paused outside Marco’s room, his eyes trailing over the blue door. He looked back towards the stairs to see no one coming and opened his daughter’s door.

As much as Johnny and Marco had been returning to their normal selves, the wall between them seemed to grow. Johnny didn’t like the fact to know anything about his daughter was from someone else’s mouth or looking around her room, he didn’t like it one bit. But at this rate he had no other choice. He walked over to her desk, eyes trailing over the black books sitting up. He picked up the one in greatest shape, do doubt her new one, and began to flip through pages.

She mostly drew people. Made up people, people with twisted features, friends and families, and even other celebrities. The most impressive ones, however, were the ones of the band. There were umpteen drawings of Zacky, mostly since Johnny knew that his eyes and piercings were her favorite thing to draw. He shook his head with a faint smile as he flipped through the multiple pictures of people.

Johnny froze on the newest picture. It was…him. And he didn’t look, you know, misshaped like Johnny figured. It was actually pretty amazing. Of course it was the old look of Johnny since it had his Mohawk, but it was still amazing. Johnny smiled and shut the book, placing it back where it belonged. He quickly left the room and went into his. Starting tomorrow it would be different. He would try his hardest to make things how they were.

As he sat on the edge of his bed he groaned. Tomorrow was Saturday and that meant an appointment with Emily since they last went Thursday. He fell back onto his bed with his hands over his face. After last appointment Marco probably wouldn’t want him in the same room as her. But of course the guys are forcing Johnny to go too. It’s going to be hell in summary.



Marco let out a loud yawn, covering her mouth with her hand. Typically the teen wouldn’t mind being at her therapist’s office at nine in the morning, but she hadn’t gone home until midnight and couldn’t sleep very good. After the movie the teens had gone to the Thompson’s home to hangout.

“Coffee?” Marco looked over to see Johnny offering the rest of his Starbucks cup to her. They (Matt, Johnny, and Marco) had stopped at Starbucks on the way, but Marco had stupidly not gotten anything. She smiled and nodded her thanks, taking the cardboard cup. Johnny had been oddly nice all morning and it was beginning to make Marco curious. Something drastic had to of happen and the butterflies swarming in Marco’s stomach made her think it wasn’t something good.

“Marco, Johnny.” Both looked up when they heard the secretary, Anne, called their names from the doorway. Marco let her feet fall from where she had pulled them onto the chair and stood. Marco led the way to Emily’s room. The two never had figured out what the other doors were for and it was beginning to bother both of them.

“Good morning you two,” Emily greeted cheerfully as they opened the door. Her hair was in a neat bun with jeans and a tank on. This time the chairs were still facing each other, but only five feet from each other.

“Mornings suck,” Marco muttered as she plopped in her seat from last time. Johnny nodded in agreement as he shut the door before following Marco’s example. Emily narrowed her eyes in confusion.

“I thought you were a morning person Marco.”

“I was out late last night. Just a bit tired,” Marco confessed, smiling sheepishly. Emily smiled, nodding her head. She turned to look at Johnny who was silently watching Marco.

“And how was your night Mr. Seward?”

“Pretty uneventful,” Johnny replied, finally turning to look at the brunette. She nodded, sitting on her empty desktop cross legged.

“Well we need to get some real talking down this time. Well start with you Mr. Seward.” Johnny had thought about just telling her to call him Johnny, but decided not to speak. She knew his nickname, when she refuses to call him that and stick with formalities it’s only to assume she doesn’t want him to think of her as a friend. “Sir, have you had any cravings for alcohol?”

“No.” Johnny was lying a little of course. He hadn’t been craving it, he’s been needing it. Everyone had taken the time to get rid of all the alcohol and make sure not to bring any over. That didn’t stop Johnny from stopping for a drink at Johnny’s Bar once a day. Emily seemed to have almost read his mind because she frowned.

“Mr. Seward, I can’t help you if you’re going to lie to me.”

“I’m not here because of my alcohol problems. I’m here because of my relapsing into my childhood. You’re a person to find out my psych issues, not to be an AA counselor.” Emily glared at him and crossed her arms over her chest. Johnny leaned back in his seat to try and look like he was still cool and calm. Inside he was shitting his pants.

“A part of your mind wants you to drink, Mr. Seward. Last time I checked that was a psych thing to work on,” Emily remarked smartly. Johnny stayed silent, staring at the floor. Emily smiled, knowing she had gotten him. “Why do you want to drink Mr. Seward?”

“Because a loopy world that everything is funny is nicer than a world where everyone hates me.”

“You ever wonder why?”

“Because I don’t listen to anyone and drink too much. I compared everyone to my parents who were very abusive, physically and emotionally. And then I end up closing up on everyone and everything. Including my own daughter.” Emily tilted her head to the side and Marco sat up straight in her seat. He was confessing he has done wrong? That was something both didn’t think he’d do so soon, if even at all.

“Maybe you should apologize to her.” Johnny stared at Emily with wide eyes as if he were to cry. He turned to look at Marco who was staring just as intently as Emily. Johnny took a deep breath before looking her in the eyes.

“I am so sorry Marco. I - I don’t know what was wrong with me. And I’ve just made everything worse since we’ve come back. I wish I could take it all back.” Not once did Johnny break eye contact. Tears began to pool Marco’s eyes as she looked at her father. She dropped the empty cup and launched herself out of her seat to Johnny’s, hugging him tightly and sobbing into his neck. He hugged her back just as tight, letting out his own tears.

After a few minutes Marco sat back in her seat, but there was a relaxation throughout the room now. Well, until Emily decided to get down to the bottom of their past quarrel. “I’m sorry to have to ask this, but what happened?”

“These two roadies on the tour kept setting me up for things that happened. Thing after thing happened and we just got in over our heads. We messed up,” Marco explained. Johnny looked at the ground again, feeling guilty yet again. Emily nodded.

“Do you know any reason why these two would personally choose do to all that?”

“Plenty of reasons.” Johnny’s head snapped up, confused. Marco was too busy looking at the wall to her right pass Emily.

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t really understand on the tour. I just thought they didn’t like me at all. The more I thought about it being home, I realized just who they were. Aaron and Winter are brother and sister. Of course they had different fathers, but they are brother and sister. They like each other more than they should though.”

“How do you know all this?” Emily asked curiously.

“Well I caught them in the act once on tour. That’s when my frog got killed. When I came back with a container for it, I found him and Winter rubbing up on each other. When I threatened to tell Johnny he squished my frog. He said if I told he’d make my life hell. Well, more than he had already succeeded.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Oh, I forgot that didn’t I?” Marco mused, looking back at Emily. “You know how I was adopted when I was younger because my parents were abusive? Aaron and Winter are my mother’s children before she married my father. They are my half-siblings. Of course they changed their names, but they are my siblings.”

The room filled with tension and disbelief. Emily actually had to struggle with her next question. It wasn’t something she cared to know, but for medical purposes she had to ask. “What had they done to make your life hell, Marco?”

“They are the ones that suggested to my father for his friends to rape me. He could charge them to pay for the four of themselves’ drug addictions. Of course they were both only about fifteen, but my parents being strung out didn’t see a problem with that. They’re the reason every innocence I had is gone,” Marco said coldly. That sent a chill down both adults’ spines. “And, as if adding insult to injury, Aaron decided to touch me on the first day he had to watch me. I didn’t know what he meant by ‘following the family tradition’ until now.”

“Marco,” Johnny said softly, pulling the teen onto his lap. Marco didn’t even shed a tear. She had done all the crying she could muster as a child and on tour. She was tired of crying. After a few moments Marco stood from Johnny’s lap and turned to Emily with a blank face.

“Are we done for today? I’d like to go home and get more sleep.”

“Of course,” Emily stuttered. Marco nodded, walking out of the room. It was silent for a few moments as both adults watched the teen leave in shock. Johnny cleared his throat, standing to his feet.

“Thank-you Emily. You’ve been a big help. We’ll be back Monday.”

“Actually Mr. Seward, I don’t think I will need to see you that day.” Johnny’s face filled with shock as Emily climbed off of the desk to go sit in her chair. “I do have a suggestion for you Mr. Seward.”

“What is that Emily?”

“If I were you I would check myself into rehab for a few days.” Johnny’s mouth fell open at this. After a few seconds with no reply Emily looked up from her papers to see his face. She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “It’s obvious, Mr. Seward, that Marco needs a real father. A hundred percent of a real father. You being an alcoholic will be no help to her. Just go for a few days and leave if you feel it doesn’t help. Just give them my number and I can explain so you can leave whenever you wish. I’m just thinking of Marco’s well being.”

“Of course. Good day Emily.” With that he left the woman’s office.