Here's Everything I've Always Meant to Say

The next few days had gone by so quickly I didn’t even have time to deal with any of it. After the night at Eli’s I’d woken up to find him going through my bag which made me glad my razor was in my pocket but when he noticed I was awake he quickly threw the bag aside and didn’t ask any questions. I couldn’t help but wonder what was going through his head but I didn’t want to deal with questioning so I didn’t ask.

I’d returned home that same day and that’s where things started to really just collapse from under me. I’d apparently gotten a little to close and I got hit with a flying vase that my mom had thrown towards my father. It had busted the bottom of my jaw and my lip I had a pretty large cut going from the right corner of my lip to my jaw line.

Which the cut on my face right there and the tenderness from where the vase had broken made it much harder to eat then the fighting outside my door on a constant basis Eli had called a few times and we’d had some conversations but nothing much he was spending a lot of time with Jen lately even though she was supposed to be grounded.

It’d been about three days since I’d been hit with the vase and my face was starting to heal a little. It was black and blue and brown and all sorts of fun colors around the cut and it hurt to talk or really open my mouth. I was scared that if I’d gone to Eli’s his parents would think mine beat me, which they might beat each other I was an exception they hadn’t meant to injure me.

“Baby girl. Why don’t you come join me for dinner?” My mother asked as she peaked her head into my room. I rolled over on my bed to face her wining as my face brushed against the pillow. I nodded slowly standing up and walking towards her. She gently took my face in her hands tears coming to her eyes.

“It’s ok momma.” I reassured her. Part of me knew she acted the way she did because she was just as scared as I was and she was naive and she was just a teenage girl at heart not having any idea what to do about life right now. I couldn’t be mad at her for this.

“It looks so bad.” Her voice was strained as she touched it causing me to back away from her. “come on Baby. I and your Daddy made an amazing dinner for you.” She smiled gently her eyes mirrored the tired and pained expression that I was wearing.

“I can’t eat too much.” I warned before following her down the stairs slowly I sat down at the table a spot I hadn’t gotten a chance to sit at in a while since they started fighting. The food smelled amazing maybe it was because I hadn’t had real food since they started fighting.

“Oh my god Tina! Look what you did to her face.” My father’s heavy voice boomed through the kitchen and I was ready to bolt but his rough hand on my face was stopping me.

“Stop it Patrick! You’re hurting her!” My mom shouted from the other side of the room. I let out a soft whimper as his grip tightened on my face.

“I’m not hurting her!” he growled back holding onto my face as they continued to fight I could almost feel him breaking the healing scab over it right now.

“yes you are” I whimpered tears already starting to fall.

“Did I ask you?” He screamed suddenly enraged and before my mom could turn around and stop him his hand came down across my face harder then I’d ever been hit in my life. I think he punched me in the side of the face but I couldn’t tell the difference All I knew is that I was in so much pain I couldn’t see straight.

“PATRICK!” She screamed and the fight began I had fallen off my chair the hit had been so powerful. Tears were spilling down my face at this point I couldn’t even see straight right now. Slowly I crawled out of the kitchen unable to really get myself to a standing position. I managed to get out of the room before they saw me I made my way up the stairs before grabbing my cell phone and praying to god that he would answer.

“Eli Please answer.” I cried softly into my phone. AS I stood and began to throw things in my bag knowing I was going to have to leave for a little bit days, weeks, I wasn’t sure right now I just needed to get out.

“Hello?” I heard a tired female voice that was a stab in the heart right now.

“Jen Please I need to talk to Eli. Please!” I shouted into the phone my face throbbing. I was sobbing and I was trying to sound as pathetic as I could.

“Fine. ELI! You’re little friends on the phone and she sounds upset!” I hear her scream before I heard someone shout and take the phone.

“Kylie?” He rushed he seemed out of breath and I didn’t care that I was interrupting him and her probably having another make out or fuck session that wasn’t what she cared about right now.

“Yes, Please Eli, Please come get me. I’m sorry I’m interrupting you guys but I need you…I need you now more than ever please Eli, If you want me to live past tonight you’ll come get me.” I continued to ramble as I held the phone to the right side of my face because my left was throbbing too much from the pain of being punched in the face.

“Kylie, Calm down please, Tell me what happened.” He ushered and I could hear him getting in his car and starting it. It wasn’t going to take long for him to get here and I knew that. I just continued to babble on about needing him and wanting to commit suicide and being in so much pain.

“I need you, I’m so sorry, I just need you.” I rambled as I pressed my face into my pillow letting out a scream of pain and frustration even though it just caused me more pain. I heard his car stop and a door slam outside.

“I’m coming to get you Ky. You’re going to be ok I promise.” He spoke gently into the phone as I heard the front door opening and slamming. Then footsteps on the stairs and I could hear my parents screaming at Eli trying to figure out what was going on.

“No I’m not.” I cried as I hung up the phone rolling over on my bed scared what Eli would say when he saw my face. I faced away from the door as I heard Eli enter the door and put a secure lock on the door as he entered.

“Kylie, Look at me, What happened?” He asked as He slid down onto my bed his hand finding my leg as he rubbed whatever he could touch at the moment.

“Please Just take me to your house Eli Please.” I begged as I slowly turned around to face him so he could see the full effect of my face.

“Oh my god.” His voice was something I’d never heard before but his reaction wasn’t what I was expecting. He pulled me into his arms holding me tightly against him for a few moments before he even made a move to do anything else.

“please Eli, I need to get out.” I was sobbing against his shirt and I needed to ice my face and sobbing my eyes out on his shirt wasn’t going to help my swelling face.

“We’re going. We’re going honey you just hold on ok?” He murmured lightly as he picked me up into his arms. “Damn your light” he muttered under his breath as he took the lock off my door and carried me down the stairs.

“Where the hell are you taking my daughter?” I glanced over as My father came storming towards Eli and I. I pressed my face into Eli’s chest knowing that he wasn’t going to let anything happen to me.

“I’m taking her away from you, Both of you, Where she can’t get hurt any further.” He was confident as he spoke and he was ready to hurt anyone that got in his way of taking care of me. “Now If you’d like to get in my way, give me five seconds to put you’re bleeding daughter in my car And I will gladly call the police.”

“Fine.” My father backed away quickly as Eli carried me out of the house and gently set me in the passenger side seat.

“you’re going to be ok Kylie, I promise, I’m going to take you back to my house and I’m going to get you some pain killers and We’re going to make sure you don’t need stitches for your chin, Were going to take care of you.” He reassured me as he looked at me I could see the pain and frustration in his eyes and It brought even more tears to my eyes.

“I’m sorry.” I sobbed as He closed the door running to the passenger Side door. He looked at me and smiled sadly. His eyes were slightly watering as he took off towards his house.

“Mom, Do me a favor get Jen out of the house Tell her to go home. I’m coming back with Kylie and you and dad were right about…what you thought.” He added softly into the phone. I could hear his mother’s voice over the phone but I couldn’t make out what was being said. To be honest I didn’t even want to think at the moment. I felt so many things.

I was hurt, betrayed, empty, confused, all I wanted right now was to be wrapped up in some one’s arm and rocked back and forth and told it was going to be ok but Nothing’s going to be ok not after this. It wasn’t possible for anything to be ok after this. The pain the emotional pain from this wasn’t going to help anything heal.

“Come on sweetheart.” He cooed gently as he pulled me out of the passenger seat and headed towards his house. His mother opened the door the shocked look on her face said more than just being shocked. She was hurting because I was at least that’s what I could read from her eyes.

“good God.” She whispered before shaking her head ushering her son and I into the house. This was the worst pain I’d ever felt not just from the burning pain on my face but from the betrayal I felt.

“She’s staying mom, I don’t care what anyone says she needs to stay for awhile I can’t let her go home.” Eli spoke to his mother as he laid me on the couch in the living room running to get ice from the freezer. He came back a few minutes later setting a small bag of ice on the cut on my face and then setting another ice pack against my already bruising eye.

“I don’t want to be trouble” I could feel the tears starting to form on my face again and the pain starting to die down as He sat down pulling my feet into his lap and rubbing my ankles lightly.

“Shush, You know better than that kylie, you know I’m here no matter what and I am going to keep you safe, Jen goes out of town tomorrow so She’ll be over to say good bye but I’m all yours until the end of break.” He smiled gently. I let my eyes fall shut as he rubbed my ankles.

“Eli, You’re father and I are going to be heading out on a trip tomorrow as well are you two going to be ok here?” His mom asked gently. I could feel Eli’s body move as he responded but my eyes were now closed and I was exhausted and I just needed to be able to close my eyes and get some quality sleep.

“Its fine mom, everything is going to be ok, her dad doesn’t know where we live she’s safe here.” He spoke softly and their voices continued to grow more distant as I fell deeper into sleep. The next thing I remember was being picked up and moved to a surface much more comfortable and a pillow being tucked under my head.

I woke up to a females shouting about something or another. I sat up slowly looking at the clock seeing that it was Noon I figured out that the voice was Jen, Eli said she was leaving today. I smiled gently before climbing out of the bed. I realized that Eli had changed me at some point in the night into a pair of his boxers and he’d taken my hoodie off and slipped one of his shirts onto me but he hadn’t touched the bandages on my arms.

“Eli! She’s staying here?! She’s in your clothes!” Jen shouted. I looked down at the boxers I was in and let out a small laugh. “You don’t even let me wear your clothes Eli!”

“She’s my best friend! She needs this right now! I’ve known her for the past six years! If you don’t trust me than that’s your problem!” He shouted back. I’d never heard him raise his voice in the whole time I’d known him. Not even when he was dealing with my father the other night.

“Eli! I do trust you! Do you not see the way she looks at you! She loves you! I don’t trust her! How can I trust some one that looks at you like I do?” She screamed. I couldn’t help but wince at the sound of their screaming. I was the source of another argument.

“Will you shut up? Even if she does what does it matter to you? Hmm? You really think that if something happens with her while you’re gone that it wasn’t going to happen with you here?” His voice had gone back to being low and that was probably the most shocking thing I’d ever heard him say.

“What are you trying to tell me Eli?” Jen’s voice was wavering slightly but not in a ‘I’m going to cry’ It was a “I’m so pissed I could set fire to something’

“I’m trying to tell you, that I’ve had enough of you treating her like shit. If I do something with her, it’s because I want to. I’m not going to promise that nothing’s going to happen, wanna know why? Because this is it. I and you were over. I don’t want to have to answer to you where I’ve been and who I’m with! She is my best friend! I’ll do whatever she needs!” He glared “And I’m a faithful person but I’m sick of you and your god damn rules.” He snapped. My heart felt like it was going to bust out of my chest.

“Are you trying to tell me that if she says sleeping with her will make her feel better you would do it?” Jen’s voice was quiet now.

“Yeah, I would.” Eli’s answer nearly caused me to pass out. He was willing to sleep with me! What the hell! That’s kind of awesome though.

“How about we just take a break for this week...While I’m gone you can do whatever you want and when I come back we’ll talk about where our relationship stands?” Jen’s voice was desperate she was hanging on to every thin little string she still had attached to him.

“Fine, But don’t blow up my phone this week. This is her wee understood? And if you come back and I don’t want to be with you, you have to walk away peacefully and Promise to leave her the hell alone.” They were making a promise about me! I had to still be dreaming I slowly un did one of my bandages and checked my arms they were scared and healing still meaning I was very much awake.

“Good Bye Eli, Have fun with her.” I heard her voice and then I heard a door slam. I looked confused for a moment before settling myself back onto the bed at least pretending to be asleep that way he wouldn’t know that I had been listening to him argue with Jen. This way nothing would be weird between us. Now that I knew that both of us had feelings for each other even if neither of us had come out and said it.