Broken Wings

"The boys are going to stay the night, that's okay isn't it Mom?" Frank asked.
"Of course honey, how were the movies?" Mom asked, shooting me a hopeful look.
I looked back at her with the same expressionless eyes as before.
"Awesome! That new zombie movie is fucking scary! It's brilliant!" Frank exclaimed, an excited smile adorning his face and turning his eyes into hazel pools of happiness.
"Language, please," Mom said laughingly.
"Linda, it's Frank...he's been swearing since the day he started talking," Gerard joked, throwing his arm around Frank.
Frank laughed and shoved Gerard away.
"Fuck you!" he shouted.
"That just proves my point," laughed Gerard, dodging a punch.
Mom laughed and I watched them without emotion. I tried to remember a time where I messed around, joked and laughed like Frank was but came up blank. I frowned and tried to think back even further, to any time where I experienced some form of emotion, but nothing came up. It was like I knew something was there, but I couldn't quite reach it. Like in the movies where the protagonist is about to get their head blown off and they're scrabbling for the rock or weapon that can save their lives. That's what it was like. I was touching these memories, just barely, by knowing they were there but aside from that I had nothing.

"You okay?"
I jumped and looked around to see Mikey looking at me with those deep eyes of his.
"Fine," I muttered.
"What were you doing?" he asked.
"Thinking," I replied.
"About?" he prompted.
"Stuff," I said, generally.
"Interesting. I love stuff. It's so...so...stuff-like," Mikey laughed a bit at himself.
I just raised an eyebrow at him. His laughter trailed off a bit and he bit his lip.
"So, seeing as we're all having a sleepover and Mom's going to bed, we've gotta keep it down a bit. So why don't just play a simple game of truth or dare?" Frank suggested.
"So juvenile, but okay, why not," Gerard answered.
"Yay!" Frank squealed, clapping his hands.
I looked at him curiously. Had he always acted like that? Like a child?
"Yes, that is him normally," Mikey whispered in my ear, obviously seeing my face.
"Okay, everyone get into a circle!" Frank yelled.
"Shut up! Mom's trying to sleep," I muttered.
"Oops," Frank whispered.
However, we all moved ourselves into a weird, circle-ish shape. Frank was curled up in an armchair, Gerard was on the floor while Mikey and I shared the couch. It was strange being in such a comfortable position in such an uncomfortable setting. I pulled my sunnies out again, I can't remember why I ever took them off, and placed them over my eyes.

"Max! Truth or Dare?" Gerard asked.
I paused thinking. Which one? I had nothing to hide, and I wasn't embarrassed easily so I shrugged.
"Whichever," I said non-commitally.
"You have to pick!" Frank said firmly.
"Whatever, truth," I sighed.
"Are you glad to be back home?" he asked.
Frank's eyes immediately snapped up to mine and I immediately felt trapped. I wasn't that glad to be home, it was too bright, too colourful, too loud and too unpredictable. There was so much more to worry about now. It was complicated.
"I don't have a home," I murmured softly.
That was another thing. This place was not a home for me, it was a house. There was no place on this Earth that I was comfortable enough in to call home.
"You know what I meant," Gerard said, rolling his eyes.
Frank's eyes were downcast and sad while Mikey's, of course, were trying to pierce my soul.
"I don't know. Yes and no," I said to Gerard.
I then turned to Frank.
"Truth or dare?" I asked.
He looked up at me and bit his lip.
"Dare?" he said, questioningly.
"Hmmm..." I murmured.
"I warn you, I'm not easily embarrassed," Frank said grinning slightly.
"Do any of you guys have a camera?" I asked.
"Uh, here," Mikey said, tossing me a small camera.
I caught it and turned it on. i changed it to the video setting and I looked at Frank.
"Give Gerard a lap dance to the next song on the radio," I said.
Mikey burst into laughter as Gerard gaped at me.
"Why me?! Why not Mikey?!" Gerard spluttered.
"Mikey gave me the camera," I said simply.
Gerard glowered at me along with Frank. I walked over to the radio and turned it on.
"It seems so obvious
Theres something up with us
I swear I feel it
From across the room.
So can I ask you this?
Not to be forward, miss,
But I think I'd kill myself
If I never knew...

What do I have to do
To get inside of you?
To get inside of you?
Cuz I love the way you move,
When I'm inside of you.
When I'm inside of you..."
Frank was swaying to the music, and pulling his shirt off. He made some crude thrusting motions at Gerard and Mikey almost pissed himself laughing. Gerard was trying to look away, but Frank grabbed his chin 'seductively' and held it so that Gerard was facing him. I got up and moved slightly so I could see Frank's face on the camera. He scowled at me and gave me the finger while he shimmied around Gerard. I felt a the smallest hint of a smile tug at my lips before it was gone.
"Loosen up guys! It's not like either of you are suddenly going to rip each others clothes off and fuck like animals in the back yard!" I sighed.
They both glared at me before Frank sighed. His hips started to move more freely and his actions became smoother.
"Better," I praised.
Gerard leaned back on his hands and yawned.
"Just ask and I will do
Anything you want me to
There is no limit
To how far I will go..
And Im sure I can pretend
To be a gentlemen..
But before I begin,
I just gotta know,
I just gotta know,
I just gotta know...

What do I have to do
To get inside of you?
To get inside of you?
Cuz I love the way you move,
When I'm inside of you.
When I'm inside of you..."
Frank grabbed Gerard's hand and ran it down his chest as Frank straddled Gee. Gerard looked slightly uncomfortable and I rolled my eyes.
"Mikey, hold the camera," I muttered, shoving the camera into his hands.
He scrambled to keep hold of it and I stepped up to Frank. I put my hands on his hips and he looked back at me, slightly creeped out.
"Threesome. Cool," Gerard said in a voice that clearly stated he did NOT think it was cool.
"Sway your fucking hips. Your hips do most of the dancing," I muttered.
I moved Frank's hips from side to side in a small, circle-y kinda fashion.
'Whoa! Dude! Our crotches are touching!" Gerard yelped.
"That's the fucking point! You've gotta basically grind into him Frank!" I instructed.
"Dude! This is my best friend! This is fucking awkward!" Frank growled.
"I can grind up to any one and not feel awkward! I could give Mikey a lap dance and not feel awkward! It's not that fucking difficult!" I growled.
Frank glared at me and then moved away.
"I went through with my dare and I'm done now," he growled.
"Oh my God, you're a pansy," I muttered.

"Anyway, Mikey, truth or dare?" Frank muttered.
"Uh...truth?" Mikey asked.
"Are you a virgin? If you aren't, who?" Frank asked.
Mikey turned bright red and mumbled something to his feet.
"Wait...what?!" Gerard exclaimed.
"Alicia," Mikey finally mumbled.
"Holy shit! Here I was, thinking my brother was all innocent, but yet he's not. Jesus Christ, when the hell was this?!" Gerard exclaimed.
"Like a month ago...before we broke up," Mikey said shyly.
Gerard looked proud and Frank looked smug.
"I knew. I could just see it in the way he carried himself," Frank announced.
Mikey turned about three shades redder.
"Max, truth or dare?" Mikey asked, eager to get the attention off him.
"Give me a truth," I answered, kicking back on the couch and letting my black hair cover my face.
"What was it like at the institution?" Mikey asked softly.
I froze like I'd been dunked in liquid nitrogen. I wasn't even breathing. The room faded out as I was drawn into another memory.

I screamed as they wrestled my body to the ground. Hands grabbed at my arms and legs and I thrashed about, flopping like a fish. They were all yelling at each other as they tried to pull me to the bed. My back arched off the ground and spittle sprayed from my mouth.
"SHUT UP YOU LITTLE WRETCH!" someone shouted at me.
One hand twisted into my hair and they pulled my head up, before smacking it hard onto the concrete floor. I cried out in pain and lay there for a moment, dazed. They took that opportunity to pick me up and put me on the gurney. I started to struggle again, but I was contained quite easily and they strapped me to the bed. They used hard, leather straps that cut into my skin and chafed them. I had never felt more terror in my life than I had then.
They started to wheel me out and I whimpered as we passed door after door. There were people in the halls, some were hand cuffed and chained to the workers. Others were drooling and unable to stand for themselves and each patient I saw terrified me more. Tears were starting to stream down my cheeks. I was only fourteen! I didn't deserve to be in a place like this!
"Let me out! Let me go! Please!" I screamed, and thrashed against my restraints.
I sobbed as they ignored me and continued to wheel me down the hallway. We were now coming to a darkert part of the institution. I could hear lots of screams, banging and cries. The workers stopped wheeling me for a moment and two of them walked into a room. I looked in, probably against my better judgement and then screamed.
There was a guy in there who looked insane. Like truly insane. He was babbling and laughing as drool draped from his lips. He was also shaking and every now and then he would give a high pitched yip and start dragging his nails down his face or pulling at his wispy hair. At the sound of my scream he turned to me. His eyes were eerie, one was black the other was electric blue. One eye was kinda looking in the other direction and he grinned at me. Several of his teeth were missing and the ones that were there were rotting. I screamed again and he made a coughing, choking noise and I realised he was laughing. He started to rush at me and I screamed louder and more piercingly but then he jerked to a stop about half a metre from the door and I realised he was collared.
"GET ME OUT! GET ME OUT! GET ME OUT!" I shrieked and viciously pulled at the restraints.
I tried to slip my hands through the leather and kicked and tugged from my ankles. I sat up and began to try and bite at the leather capturing me as I screamed and cried. The man in the room seemed to get more excited and his arms reached out for me. Blood was starting to trickle down my wrists and I cried out my pain as well as my fear.
"SHUT UP!"
My head was shoved back so hard I got whiplash and suddenly more straps were being tightened over my knees, thighs, upper arms, stomach, chest and over my head. I was pinned to this bed and I couldn't move.
"LET ME GO!" I screamed.
The final touch was shoving a gag in my mouth.

"Max?" Frank asked.
I gasped and jumped. That had been my first day at the institution. I sat up on the couch, and I realised my hands were in fists and I had a cold sweat on my body. I pulled my knees up closer to my body and I saw that there were three very concerned gazes in my direction.
I licked my lips and took a deep breath.
"You wouldn't be able to even begin to imagine...just how terrible it is there," I whispered.
Frank shot a worried look at me and Gerard looked down, biting his lip. Mikey gently put a hand over mine and I looked at him. He gave me a small smile, as if to encourage me.
"Why were you sent there?" Gerard asked.
Frank's face twisted into a scowl and I looked away.
"Just some shit I did that my father couldn't cope with," I answered.
"Fuck, he sounds like an asshole," Gerard said sympathetically.
"Ya think?" Frank snarled.
"Chill dude. Anyway, I think I'm going to head off so...see you boys later," I said, standing up.
"Night!" they chorused.