‹ Prequel: We've Got More Than We Know
We've Got It All Figured Out... For Now
Are We Staying With Daddy?
Today, I was on a mission. I was going to go see Todd. I needed to. It’s the least I owed to the man. I was slightly nervous though. I’m not going to lie. As I knocked on the door, yes knocked on the door of the house I live in my nervousness spiked. It only grew once Todd answered the door with Jayden in his hands. Aw my baby.
“Moma!” he squealed while thrusting his arms at me.
“Hey, honey,” I beamed, holding him tightly against me. “I missed you so much,” I went on, feeling my eyes start to sting.
He went on to babble in the cutest way. I smiled and left multiple kisses on his little baby face… then my eyes traveled up to Todd’s. my heart nearly broke.
“I thought… we should… talk,” I told him, having a hard time finding my voice.
He shrugged before he stepped aside and let me in. It was weird walking into the house now. It had this emptiness to it. A heavy sigh left me as I followed Todd into the kitchen with Jayden tucked into my arms.
“You might want to sit,” he started, nodding towards a stool that was pulled up to the island counter.
I did as he said and looked at him quizzically. He wasn’t happy. That’s for sure. I don’t really blame him either. But… I had a feeling there was something else that was upsetting him… that he was about to lay on me… or slide in front of me.
Once a stack of papers was in front of me, I looked up at him, stunned. Divorce papers were only a couple of inches from me. We haven’t seen each other… or even spoken to one another for almost a week. And he goes off and files for divorce.
“You love Tanner,” was all he said.
“Todd, I…” I started, but he cut me off.
“If you didn’t still love him, none of this would have happened,” he countered.
“I didn’t mean for it to happen, Todd,” I spoke up softly.
“But it did… and we can’t take it back,” he muttered.
“The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you… again,” I told him sincerely.
“I know,” he sighed.
I sighed myself before I leafed through the papers, skimming over their words. As I came to the last page, I was hesitant to sign it. Jayden was still babbling away, just as happy as a baby could be. Before I brought the pen to the page, I left a kiss on his forehead.
Even though this was still hard for me… I felt like I was doing the right thing. I slid the papers back to Todd and he went on to share a few details about everything. I soaked it in without saying too much. I really just wanted to get out of here. The walls seemed like they were caving in on me.
Todd told me he packed most of my stuff for me. Why is this going so smoothly? I don’t like it. I feel like there’s this huge bomb that’s going to go off soon though. I need to get out of here.
“You’re staying at Tanner’s right?” he asked softly as I buckled Jayden in to his seat.
“For now… I’ll let you know when I find a place,” I told him.
He nodded his head and shoved his hands into his pockets. I felt like this was like your first major breakup from someone that… you just grew apart from. It sucks, but… you both knew it had to happen.
“You’re a great guy, Todd… and an amazing father,” I told him, bring truthful.
“And you are a wonderful woman, and an incredible mother,” he replied before we shared a hug.
Before I left, I placed my rings in his hands and closed his fingers around them, knowing that… this was it. I took in a big breath before I climbed back into my car. I did drive to Tanner’s. When I walked in, him and Mason were playing on the floor. I sent both of them a weak smile before I walked in.
“Everything ok?” Tanner asked as he pushed himself to his feet.
“Yeah,” I sighed out, running my hand through my hair. “Can I just have a minute with Mason?” I went on before sitting on the couch.
Tanner sent me a small smile before he nodded his head and he left the room. I smiled at Mason and opened my free arm out of him. He grinned brightly before climbing onto the couch next to me to rest his head on my shoulder.
“Are we going back to Todd’s?” he asked softly.
“No, honey,” I replied before planting a soft kiss on his forehead.
“Are we staying with daddy?” he went on to ask.
“For a little while longer,” I told him.
“You guys can stay here as long as you want,” Tanner chimed in.
“I thought I told you I wanted a minute?” I shot at him playfully.
“I was in the kitchen. How I was I not supposed to hear?” he chuckled.
I just rolled my eyes playfully before I held my babies closer to me, not wanting to let either of them go. Tanner went on to send me a smile before he sat next to me, pulling all three of us into his arms.
“No matter what, I’m here for all of you guys,” he gently said, making my smile come over me.
“Thanks, Tanner,” I pushed out, relaxing into his embrace.
Things may not have panned out the way I wanted them too, but… somehow, Tanner still had my heart after all of these years. We still had a few months to wait though. I’m still legally married even though we both know it’s over. I just have to keep my kids happy… that’s all that matters right now.
“Moma!” he squealed while thrusting his arms at me.
“Hey, honey,” I beamed, holding him tightly against me. “I missed you so much,” I went on, feeling my eyes start to sting.
He went on to babble in the cutest way. I smiled and left multiple kisses on his little baby face… then my eyes traveled up to Todd’s. my heart nearly broke.
“I thought… we should… talk,” I told him, having a hard time finding my voice.
He shrugged before he stepped aside and let me in. It was weird walking into the house now. It had this emptiness to it. A heavy sigh left me as I followed Todd into the kitchen with Jayden tucked into my arms.
“You might want to sit,” he started, nodding towards a stool that was pulled up to the island counter.
I did as he said and looked at him quizzically. He wasn’t happy. That’s for sure. I don’t really blame him either. But… I had a feeling there was something else that was upsetting him… that he was about to lay on me… or slide in front of me.
Once a stack of papers was in front of me, I looked up at him, stunned. Divorce papers were only a couple of inches from me. We haven’t seen each other… or even spoken to one another for almost a week. And he goes off and files for divorce.
“You love Tanner,” was all he said.
“Todd, I…” I started, but he cut me off.
“If you didn’t still love him, none of this would have happened,” he countered.
“I didn’t mean for it to happen, Todd,” I spoke up softly.
“But it did… and we can’t take it back,” he muttered.
“The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you… again,” I told him sincerely.
“I know,” he sighed.
I sighed myself before I leafed through the papers, skimming over their words. As I came to the last page, I was hesitant to sign it. Jayden was still babbling away, just as happy as a baby could be. Before I brought the pen to the page, I left a kiss on his forehead.
Even though this was still hard for me… I felt like I was doing the right thing. I slid the papers back to Todd and he went on to share a few details about everything. I soaked it in without saying too much. I really just wanted to get out of here. The walls seemed like they were caving in on me.
Todd told me he packed most of my stuff for me. Why is this going so smoothly? I don’t like it. I feel like there’s this huge bomb that’s going to go off soon though. I need to get out of here.
“You’re staying at Tanner’s right?” he asked softly as I buckled Jayden in to his seat.
“For now… I’ll let you know when I find a place,” I told him.
He nodded his head and shoved his hands into his pockets. I felt like this was like your first major breakup from someone that… you just grew apart from. It sucks, but… you both knew it had to happen.
“You’re a great guy, Todd… and an amazing father,” I told him, bring truthful.
“And you are a wonderful woman, and an incredible mother,” he replied before we shared a hug.
Before I left, I placed my rings in his hands and closed his fingers around them, knowing that… this was it. I took in a big breath before I climbed back into my car. I did drive to Tanner’s. When I walked in, him and Mason were playing on the floor. I sent both of them a weak smile before I walked in.
“Everything ok?” Tanner asked as he pushed himself to his feet.
“Yeah,” I sighed out, running my hand through my hair. “Can I just have a minute with Mason?” I went on before sitting on the couch.
Tanner sent me a small smile before he nodded his head and he left the room. I smiled at Mason and opened my free arm out of him. He grinned brightly before climbing onto the couch next to me to rest his head on my shoulder.
“Are we going back to Todd’s?” he asked softly.
“No, honey,” I replied before planting a soft kiss on his forehead.
“Are we staying with daddy?” he went on to ask.
“For a little while longer,” I told him.
“You guys can stay here as long as you want,” Tanner chimed in.
“I thought I told you I wanted a minute?” I shot at him playfully.
“I was in the kitchen. How I was I not supposed to hear?” he chuckled.
I just rolled my eyes playfully before I held my babies closer to me, not wanting to let either of them go. Tanner went on to send me a smile before he sat next to me, pulling all three of us into his arms.
“No matter what, I’m here for all of you guys,” he gently said, making my smile come over me.
“Thanks, Tanner,” I pushed out, relaxing into his embrace.
Things may not have panned out the way I wanted them too, but… somehow, Tanner still had my heart after all of these years. We still had a few months to wait though. I’m still legally married even though we both know it’s over. I just have to keep my kids happy… that’s all that matters right now.