In The Morning And Amazing
Technicolor Girls
*Mikey POV*
I woke up suddenly. I had the fucking nightmare again. But then I realised that Gerard was still holding my left hand and my heart beats slowed. After a few deep breaths I was relaxed enough to think. Gerard had his mouth slightly open and he was breathing on my neck a bit. It tickled and made me smile. The corners of mouth twitched and I realised I couldn’t smile properly. Frank. Oh Frank. Why? Every thought of him made me cringe and tear up. I thought of his smile, his beautiful eyes and perfect lips. I just couldn’t get him out of my head. I’d never been in love until I met him. And I thought that maybe he loved me back. What hurts the most is that I never told him I loved him. I didn’t want to be the first to say it. It was Frank who was against telling people about us and reluctant to show affection in public. I thought he was shy but now I know the truth. He liked girls and I was entertainment until the next big breasted girl came along. I wondered what her name was. What special traits she had to make Frank like her. Would he kiss her like she was beautiful, like she was me? God I hoped not.
After he told me the truth I was desolate. I dialled up Bert and asked if I could have tutoring again. Being Bert he accepted. He said I sounded like I was crying and I told him to fuck off and I’d see him tomorrow. I know I was being selfish but it made me feel better.
I was so alone and then Gerard came. He didn’t care that I was rude, he didn’t get offended. He gathered me in his arms and told me the truth. It was then when I decided to tell the truth to him and to others. So I told him everything. When I was done he laid me on my stomach and rubbed my back. At first I thought I looked like a complete fool but it became so comforting.
“Tell me about you Gerard. No-one asks about you”. I had asked him and he laughed and I could feel his smile beam into my back. I don’t remember anything after that. But it felt good to be safe with him. And he taught me that I needed to be truthful. First I would tell Bert I was gay and then. Then I would tell Frank I loved him and maybe, just maybe, he’ll tell me he loves me too.
I woke up suddenly. I had the fucking nightmare again. But then I realised that Gerard was still holding my left hand and my heart beats slowed. After a few deep breaths I was relaxed enough to think. Gerard had his mouth slightly open and he was breathing on my neck a bit. It tickled and made me smile. The corners of mouth twitched and I realised I couldn’t smile properly. Frank. Oh Frank. Why? Every thought of him made me cringe and tear up. I thought of his smile, his beautiful eyes and perfect lips. I just couldn’t get him out of my head. I’d never been in love until I met him. And I thought that maybe he loved me back. What hurts the most is that I never told him I loved him. I didn’t want to be the first to say it. It was Frank who was against telling people about us and reluctant to show affection in public. I thought he was shy but now I know the truth. He liked girls and I was entertainment until the next big breasted girl came along. I wondered what her name was. What special traits she had to make Frank like her. Would he kiss her like she was beautiful, like she was me? God I hoped not.
After he told me the truth I was desolate. I dialled up Bert and asked if I could have tutoring again. Being Bert he accepted. He said I sounded like I was crying and I told him to fuck off and I’d see him tomorrow. I know I was being selfish but it made me feel better.
I was so alone and then Gerard came. He didn’t care that I was rude, he didn’t get offended. He gathered me in his arms and told me the truth. It was then when I decided to tell the truth to him and to others. So I told him everything. When I was done he laid me on my stomach and rubbed my back. At first I thought I looked like a complete fool but it became so comforting.
“Tell me about you Gerard. No-one asks about you”. I had asked him and he laughed and I could feel his smile beam into my back. I don’t remember anything after that. But it felt good to be safe with him. And he taught me that I needed to be truthful. First I would tell Bert I was gay and then. Then I would tell Frank I loved him and maybe, just maybe, he’ll tell me he loves me too.
♠ ♠ ♠
heh