In The Morning And Amazing
Hard To Say
*Mikey POV*
I wondered when he’d remember.
“I’m 17 now. The year of telling the truth.” I had been holding back from telling Bert the truth about me. If I starting telling him the truth it meant that I would have to face Frank and I just hadn’t been emotional prepared for that. But today, I woke up with Gerard by my side again and I found new courage to do what I’d wanted to do this pass month. Every time I thought about telling Bert I found a question I hadn’t asked him or something new on Billie Piper. But now I was ready. Armed with pop tarts and coke we headed towards my room. I had told Gerard previously about me telling Bert so I knew he’d stay out of the way. Bert sat in my computer chair and I stood opposite him.
“Bert, I’m gay.” I noticed his eyes the most. They widened in surprise. Although I did see his mouth fall open showing his teeth and the pop tart he’d been chewing as I told him. But regardless, I had opened this seal inside me and now the words were pouring out as he sat there chewing his mouthful.
“Well I think I’m gay. I could be bi because I really do have a thing for Billie Piper but then again it’s probably just angsty teen infatuation. Who knows?” I shrugged. Bert stood up suddenly and walked over to me.
“You’re gay?” He gulped and I gave him a small nod. He smiled. And then he kissed me. His lips were uncertain and trembling slightly. But all I could think about was that someone was kissing me. I started imagining it was Frank and I had just told him I loved him. He said he loved me too and it was him kissing me uncertainly because he knew he had hurt me. I was so lost in my head that I forgot it was Bert altogether. Now I was showing Frank I had forgiven him. I prised open Bert’s, no Frank’s lips and started to massage his tongue. I pulled him against my body. I had my hands in his hair, like I would do with Frank and Bert, no Frank, had his arms over my shoulders. I dropped one arm so expertise like and began to rub his crotch. I heard a moan and it only encouraged me more. I started to push Bert, no Frank, towards the bed and in a tangle of legs and gasps we were on it. I was in control of the situation like never before. Frank was so remorse from his behaviour he let me lead. Normally Frank would take control but I was so sure in my head that it was him that I didn’t care.
I was straddling him. I leant down and bit his neck.
“Oh Fuck, Mikey.” He moaned. Frank’s voice sounded wrong but it was him, I just knew it. I started grinding him then. His ongoing moans were an indicator saying he was having a good time. I unzipped his pants and slipped one hand inside his boxer shorts. I began to slowly pump my hand up and down. The moans continued. I detached my lips from his and trailed my fingers down his body. Then my mouth was on his cock and I was licking it.
“I never knew Mikey, I never knew.” He panted in between moans. Then my imaginary world had been tipped upside down. Because Frank knew I loved him, didn’t he? I had just told him. All of the sudden it was Bert underneath me and not Frank. Bert’s hard on in my mouth. I sat up and I laughed from the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. I got the giggles and I couldn’t stop.
“Are you okay Mikey?” Bert asked tentatively. I lent right down into his face.
“I thought you were someone else.” I whispered. Then laughed! I had been so stupid. Caught up in my head like when I’m trapped in the nightmare.
“S-s-someone else?” Bert face crumpled and he pushed me off. I was still in a fit of laughter and I rolled around on the bed. He was buckling up his belt when I managed to stop.
“I’m sorry Bert. For this. But it meant nothing to me.” I said strong and clear as he turned to leave.
“I gathered.” And even I, in my state of insanity, managed to notice the trail of a single tear down his check.
Then the door closed and I began to laugh again.
I wondered when he’d remember.
“I’m 17 now. The year of telling the truth.” I had been holding back from telling Bert the truth about me. If I starting telling him the truth it meant that I would have to face Frank and I just hadn’t been emotional prepared for that. But today, I woke up with Gerard by my side again and I found new courage to do what I’d wanted to do this pass month. Every time I thought about telling Bert I found a question I hadn’t asked him or something new on Billie Piper. But now I was ready. Armed with pop tarts and coke we headed towards my room. I had told Gerard previously about me telling Bert so I knew he’d stay out of the way. Bert sat in my computer chair and I stood opposite him.
“Bert, I’m gay.” I noticed his eyes the most. They widened in surprise. Although I did see his mouth fall open showing his teeth and the pop tart he’d been chewing as I told him. But regardless, I had opened this seal inside me and now the words were pouring out as he sat there chewing his mouthful.
“Well I think I’m gay. I could be bi because I really do have a thing for Billie Piper but then again it’s probably just angsty teen infatuation. Who knows?” I shrugged. Bert stood up suddenly and walked over to me.
“You’re gay?” He gulped and I gave him a small nod. He smiled. And then he kissed me. His lips were uncertain and trembling slightly. But all I could think about was that someone was kissing me. I started imagining it was Frank and I had just told him I loved him. He said he loved me too and it was him kissing me uncertainly because he knew he had hurt me. I was so lost in my head that I forgot it was Bert altogether. Now I was showing Frank I had forgiven him. I prised open Bert’s, no Frank’s lips and started to massage his tongue. I pulled him against my body. I had my hands in his hair, like I would do with Frank and Bert, no Frank, had his arms over my shoulders. I dropped one arm so expertise like and began to rub his crotch. I heard a moan and it only encouraged me more. I started to push Bert, no Frank, towards the bed and in a tangle of legs and gasps we were on it. I was in control of the situation like never before. Frank was so remorse from his behaviour he let me lead. Normally Frank would take control but I was so sure in my head that it was him that I didn’t care.
I was straddling him. I leant down and bit his neck.
“Oh Fuck, Mikey.” He moaned. Frank’s voice sounded wrong but it was him, I just knew it. I started grinding him then. His ongoing moans were an indicator saying he was having a good time. I unzipped his pants and slipped one hand inside his boxer shorts. I began to slowly pump my hand up and down. The moans continued. I detached my lips from his and trailed my fingers down his body. Then my mouth was on his cock and I was licking it.
“I never knew Mikey, I never knew.” He panted in between moans. Then my imaginary world had been tipped upside down. Because Frank knew I loved him, didn’t he? I had just told him. All of the sudden it was Bert underneath me and not Frank. Bert’s hard on in my mouth. I sat up and I laughed from the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. I got the giggles and I couldn’t stop.
“Are you okay Mikey?” Bert asked tentatively. I lent right down into his face.
“I thought you were someone else.” I whispered. Then laughed! I had been so stupid. Caught up in my head like when I’m trapped in the nightmare.
“S-s-someone else?” Bert face crumpled and he pushed me off. I was still in a fit of laughter and I rolled around on the bed. He was buckling up his belt when I managed to stop.
“I’m sorry Bert. For this. But it meant nothing to me.” I said strong and clear as he turned to leave.
“I gathered.” And even I, in my state of insanity, managed to notice the trail of a single tear down his check.
Then the door closed and I began to laugh again.