In The Morning And Amazing
Believe
*Frank POV*
I knew about pain, anger and regret. But I had never felt them. Until I told Mikey that we were over. I’ve been living in a daze ever since. I floated between work and home. Everywhere I went thoughts of Mikey followed. I never thought that I loved him properly when we were together but after I lost him I realised that I did. I used to think that I didn’t deserve someone so amazing. But now I understand that although I still don’t deserve him, I’ve always wanted him. It took me the largest amount of self control to not go to him and tell him truth. But why would he take me back? Seriously, I ripped him apart, and myself, in the process of protecting him. And in the end that was all I was trying to do. Back then I couldn’t trust the world to accept us or treat our relationship as a real one. I also knew that I couldn’t trust myself to live with him. And I know that if I had been selfish and pleased myself I would have left Mikey eventually.
I sighed. This argument had been raging in my head solidly for the last 4 weeks. After I got over the initial crying I kept living. What else was there to do? At least Gerard had gone home. That was the biggest stuff on the streets recently. I like to think that the pain I caused may have helped but maybe I’m just trying to make my situation look better. In the end nothing works. Everyday I get up and live with thoughts of pain shadowing all my thoughts, anger built with every step and regret lacing every word spoken. Then I go to sleep just to do it all again the next day. I was living just to breathe. I still had faith in Mikey but the fear I had for myself was too great so I never went to see him. I am hiding for some beast but the beast is always there. Watching without eyes because the beast is just my fear. I guess I’ll live the rest of my life like this. Because Mikey will always be the one for me and I’ll never tell him the truth about my feelings. He deserves someone with more faith in him and less fear within themselves. He needs someone who can believe in him
I knew about pain, anger and regret. But I had never felt them. Until I told Mikey that we were over. I’ve been living in a daze ever since. I floated between work and home. Everywhere I went thoughts of Mikey followed. I never thought that I loved him properly when we were together but after I lost him I realised that I did. I used to think that I didn’t deserve someone so amazing. But now I understand that although I still don’t deserve him, I’ve always wanted him. It took me the largest amount of self control to not go to him and tell him truth. But why would he take me back? Seriously, I ripped him apart, and myself, in the process of protecting him. And in the end that was all I was trying to do. Back then I couldn’t trust the world to accept us or treat our relationship as a real one. I also knew that I couldn’t trust myself to live with him. And I know that if I had been selfish and pleased myself I would have left Mikey eventually.
I sighed. This argument had been raging in my head solidly for the last 4 weeks. After I got over the initial crying I kept living. What else was there to do? At least Gerard had gone home. That was the biggest stuff on the streets recently. I like to think that the pain I caused may have helped but maybe I’m just trying to make my situation look better. In the end nothing works. Everyday I get up and live with thoughts of pain shadowing all my thoughts, anger built with every step and regret lacing every word spoken. Then I go to sleep just to do it all again the next day. I was living just to breathe. I still had faith in Mikey but the fear I had for myself was too great so I never went to see him. I am hiding for some beast but the beast is always there. Watching without eyes because the beast is just my fear. I guess I’ll live the rest of my life like this. Because Mikey will always be the one for me and I’ll never tell him the truth about my feelings. He deserves someone with more faith in him and less fear within themselves. He needs someone who can believe in him
♠ ♠ ♠
i thought we were in need of a frank pov. features lyrics from the song 'believe' by the bravery. I don't own said lyrics.