In The Morning And Amazing
You Went Away
*Gerard POV*
I always hated being at the Way house. Standing by the letter box I surveyed the place I called home. The naff stepping stones that would lead the people pass the wooden gate and towards the front door. I fumbled for the spare key from underneath our garden gnome, Jeffery, and squealed in surprise when a spider walked over my open grasp.
“Mum, I’m eer, home.” My voice rang uncertainly throughout the house.
“I’m in the kitchen dear.” My god I hated being called dear. But I made my way towards the kitchen.
“Oh my goodness, just look at you Gerard, what have you been up to? No, don’t tell me. Do you need an ice pack for your eye? Well, at least you look healthy”.
Like fuck I looked healthy. What she meant was at least I looked skinny. I hadn’t realised I had a bruised eye though. And she never wanted know. Being 18 meant that my parents could play ignorant. I could not come home for weeks on end and they could pretend I was with a girl, or a friend. Not excessive drinking, mindless fucking and drug taking. Waking up on the streets, alone again, watching the clouds go by.
“Is Mikey home?” I only came home for clothes and to see him.
“He’s in his room, he came home crying. I asked him what was wrong but he told me some rather rude things and went straight to his room. I have no idea what’s wrong with him but I can imagine that it’s not good for his health. Have a shower dear and then pop into see him. I think he’s been missing you.”
“Okay Mum. I’ve missed him too.”
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“Mikey? It’s Gerard. Can I come in?” It was good to be clean, I’ll be honest. Although I hated the clean hair thing but it was good to get out of my gutter clothes. The vomited on t-shirt had been swapped for a grey singlet and pee stained jeans for some boxers that were too tight because I had nicked them off Mikey a while back.
“Fuck off.” I took that as a yes and went in. He was sprawled on his bed with his face down. “I said fuck off Gerard.” I was hurt but not deterred.
“You said fuck off but what did you mean? Tell me what’s wrong my sweetie.” He sat up then and started crying loudly and uncontrollably. His face was red and screwed up in a useless attempt to hold back tears.
“He call- called me that.”
“He?” My brother was gay and I never knew. More like I never cared.
“Frank.” I sat down on the bed and leant against the wall, gathered Mikey in my arms so he lay with his back against me. We were holding hands and I began to stroke the tops of his hands with my thumbs. I kissed the top of his sweet little head.
“Why did you leave me here alone Gee?” He asked after a bit of silence.
“Now’s not about me, it’s about you. Tell me everything that’s happened to you since I stopped caring.”
“You stopped caring about me?” I swear he sounded teary again and I hurt so bad right then that I vowed to never stop caring about him again.
“I guess I stopped listening, but I’m listening now. Tell me everything since you turned 15 and I promise you Mikey, I’ll never stop caring for you ever again.”
I always hated being at the Way house. Standing by the letter box I surveyed the place I called home. The naff stepping stones that would lead the people pass the wooden gate and towards the front door. I fumbled for the spare key from underneath our garden gnome, Jeffery, and squealed in surprise when a spider walked over my open grasp.
“Mum, I’m eer, home.” My voice rang uncertainly throughout the house.
“I’m in the kitchen dear.” My god I hated being called dear. But I made my way towards the kitchen.
“Oh my goodness, just look at you Gerard, what have you been up to? No, don’t tell me. Do you need an ice pack for your eye? Well, at least you look healthy”.
Like fuck I looked healthy. What she meant was at least I looked skinny. I hadn’t realised I had a bruised eye though. And she never wanted know. Being 18 meant that my parents could play ignorant. I could not come home for weeks on end and they could pretend I was with a girl, or a friend. Not excessive drinking, mindless fucking and drug taking. Waking up on the streets, alone again, watching the clouds go by.
“Is Mikey home?” I only came home for clothes and to see him.
“He’s in his room, he came home crying. I asked him what was wrong but he told me some rather rude things and went straight to his room. I have no idea what’s wrong with him but I can imagine that it’s not good for his health. Have a shower dear and then pop into see him. I think he’s been missing you.”
“Okay Mum. I’ve missed him too.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Mikey? It’s Gerard. Can I come in?” It was good to be clean, I’ll be honest. Although I hated the clean hair thing but it was good to get out of my gutter clothes. The vomited on t-shirt had been swapped for a grey singlet and pee stained jeans for some boxers that were too tight because I had nicked them off Mikey a while back.
“Fuck off.” I took that as a yes and went in. He was sprawled on his bed with his face down. “I said fuck off Gerard.” I was hurt but not deterred.
“You said fuck off but what did you mean? Tell me what’s wrong my sweetie.” He sat up then and started crying loudly and uncontrollably. His face was red and screwed up in a useless attempt to hold back tears.
“He call- called me that.”
“He?” My brother was gay and I never knew. More like I never cared.
“Frank.” I sat down on the bed and leant against the wall, gathered Mikey in my arms so he lay with his back against me. We were holding hands and I began to stroke the tops of his hands with my thumbs. I kissed the top of his sweet little head.
“Why did you leave me here alone Gee?” He asked after a bit of silence.
“Now’s not about me, it’s about you. Tell me everything that’s happened to you since I stopped caring.”
“You stopped caring about me?” I swear he sounded teary again and I hurt so bad right then that I vowed to never stop caring about him again.
“I guess I stopped listening, but I’m listening now. Tell me everything since you turned 15 and I promise you Mikey, I’ll never stop caring for you ever again.”
♠ ♠ ♠
another filler, my aplogies.