Nicest Thing

I know he'll kill me.
Any moment.
But I'm not afraid.
Because my life is boring.
Innocent, drama-free life.
I hate it.
He's my only drama.
I love it. I love him.
I hope he'll die with me.
It will be pretty.
We'll fly together.
They said heaven was bright.
It smells nice and there are lilies everywhere.
In heaven we all will be pretty.
But he'll be the prettiest to me.
Because it's always been that way.
But who knows what has been planned for you.
Maybe we'll go to hell.
Maybe it would be okay.
But I wouldn't say I'll love the idea of being sent to hell.
We will get burned down.
It won't be pretty.
I cast my eyes on him.
He looks away.
He can't see me.
I'm a secret.
I want him to look at me.
Like I'm his girl.
Because I am.
Maybe, in the afterlife he'll look at me.
But for now I'm his secret.

When will he kill me?