Listen to the Thunder

Kyle’s finally getting out of the hospital today, a whole week after he went in. Every day has been so stressful for me, making sure Kyle’s okay while remembering to look after our friends. Yeah, everyone’s stayed between mine and Alex’s dorms – Rian, Caleb, Pat and Zack – and it’s mainly been Alex that’s looked after them. I’ve just been too worried. Kyle’s absolutely fine though. A bit quiet maybe, but fine. I think he’s enjoying the attention to be honest!

Nick’s not okay though. He was mysteriously found beaten up down the side of his dorm building, his injuries far worse than Kyle’s were. I never did ask Zack where he disappeared to the other night…

But back to the point, today is the day Kyle’s getting out of hospital. Zack, Rian, Caleb, Alex, Matt and Danny spent the last few days transferring all his stuff into a new dorm in mine and Alex’s building, even though there is only just over a month left of this year. He's sharing with a really nice guy called Christopher Drew. Or something like that. I've never talked to the guy, to be honest. He always smiles though. And he seems to stay out of trouble. Just what Kyle needs. Pat and I have spent all our time with Kyle and his parents, just making sure Kyle’s alright. Kyle’s parents don’t know all the details about what happened, all Kyle said was that he didn’t feel safe in his dorm anymore. They’re checking out of their hotel before coming back to say goodbye, and we’re just finishing up the last of Kyle’s stuff.

“Alright, I think that’s the last of it,” Zack grunted, putting down Kyle’s bookshelf.

“Thank you so much guys,” Kyle smiled, clutching onto Pat’s hand.

“No problem, Kyle, we didn’t mind at all,” Rian chuckled.

“This is what friends do,” Caleb nodded.

“You didn’t have to help me move all my stuff. I could’ve helped at least,” Kyle pouted.

“You’re recovering from broken and fractured ribs – you can’t lift shit,” Alex mused.

“Still,” Kyle shrugged.

“We’re here for you, Kyle, no matter what. We all wanted to help,” I smiled, nudging him with my hip.

Kyle blushed and nudged me back, before clutching Pat’s hand tighter. I’m just so glad the old group is back together, I really am. Just like it used to be. Well, kind of. But let’s no get into that.

“We’d better go and get our bags – we need to head back soon or we’re not going to make it to lectures tomorrow,” Zack announced.

Everyone left the room, except me and Kyle. I smiled at him, and he smiled shyly up at me. Don’t look at me like that Kyle. Please don’t look at me like that.

“Can you help me unpack my books?” Kyle asked.

“Sure,” I nodded.

I looked at where Kyle was walking and immediately groaned, making Kyle giggle. That box is huge! Damn it.

“Are you backing out on me now, Jacky?” Kyle asked softly, raising an eyebrow.

I immediately shook my head. I could never back out on him.

“Let’s start this,” I smiled.

So we knelt next to each other, slowly taking books out of the box and stacking them on the bookcase. I was completely in my own world, just enjoying Kyle’s company. I reached into the box again, as did Kyle, but we both grabbed the same book. Oh gosh, not this rom-com-cheesy-scene! Really? Kyle blushed deeply and immediately let go.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“It’s okay, Kyle,” I replied, shaking my head. I don’t want us to be awkward, I really don’t. “You take it,”

Kyle’s smile grew wider when I handed him the book, a smile I haven’t seen from him since before he started drugs. Fuck, I’ve missed that smile.

“Thanks,” he murmured, looking at me happily.

“No problem,” I murmured in reply, looking right back at him.

His eyes. His eyes are so beautiful. They always have been. One of the things that I love loved most about him, actually. I just get lost in them for days, the swirling pools of blue. Call me cheesy, call me crazy, call me stupid, but I can’t help it. There’ll always be something about him that holds me.

“Jack…” Kyle whispered.

My tongue ran over my bottom lip subconsciously. No Jack, don’t go down this road. No. I can’t. Kyle searched my face, I don’t know what for, but he inched slightly closer.

What is he doing?

What am I doing?

I shivered as his fingers brushed my face, my skin tingling in his path. I can’t even begin to say how long I’ve wanted him to touch me like that. But I can’t. I can’t do this to Alex. But Kyle…

His face was suddenly closer to my face, his nose lightly touching mine. I took the chance to look right into Kyle’s eyes, those blue orbs shining with nerves and uncertainty. If I had any less control, I would take his face between my hands and just kiss him. If I had any less control…

Kyle. I want Kyle. I want…

I snapped out of my thoughts at the sound of our friends’ voices coming down the corridor, and edged backwards from Kyle, taking another book and putting it on the shelf. And in just the right time. Rian, Caleb, Alex, Zack, Pat, Matt and Danny tumbled into the room, laughing and joking. Fuck, what if they’d walked in on something? Fuck, I nearly lost myself then. Fuck.

“We’ve got all night to unpack, Kyle, come on,” Alex chuckled, nudging me with his foot.

“Yeah, true,” Kyle smiled weakly, nodding.

He caught my eyes as he stood up, not letting me go, not wavering. I had to tear myself away, letting Alex help me off the floor, smiling as he pecked a kiss to my lips. Alex. Alex is who I need to focus on. Not Kyle.

“Aww, hug time!” Pat squealed.

Kyle laughed as Pat hugged him tightly, Alex leaning into my body slightly. I wrapped my arms around his waist, watching Kyle hug our four friends goodbye, his eyes catching mine every time he switched to a different person. I can’t do this. I can’t handle this, not again.

“We’ll walk you down to your cars,” Alex announced.

They seemed to like that, so off we went. Somehow, Kyle and I ended up at the back of the group.

“This isn’t over, Jacky,” Kyle whispered, looking up at me.

“It has to be,” I whispered back.

“No. It doesn’t,” Kyle said firmly.