Listen to the Thunder

A couple of days have passed, and things still aren’t right between me and Alex. I want to talk to him, to talk this through, but every time I try my words dry up in my mouth and I end up looking and sounding like an idiot. I want to fix things between me and Alex, but I don’t know how.

Today it’s a Friday and although we don’t have any classes this afternoon, I can’t find Alex anywhere. I’ve asked Danny and Matt, but Danny said he hasn’t seen him since lunch. Fantastic. So he’s avoiding me now too. Matt invited me to go with them and some other guys to the sweetwater basin, a local resevoir, only a twenty minute walk away but I said no. I’d rather just mope on my own for a while, thanks.

So now I’m on my own. I’ve tried revising for the exams that start next week, but I could only get a little work done before I couldn’t concentrate any more. With a sigh I picked up my phone and dialled Alex’s number, frowning when it went straight to voicemail. Alex barely ever has his phone off…

“For fuck’s sake!” I yelled, throwing my phone across the room.

Shit. That was a stupid idea. I winced as I heard a loud cracking noise and scrambled off my bed to check the damage. Fucking fantastic, I’ve cracked the screen. I can’t afford a new one right now so I’ll just have to deal with it. Well this day is just getting better and better, isn’t it?!

“Great, just great,” I mumbled under my breath, shuffling back over to my bed.

Maybe playing my guitar will help me relax a little. I picked it up, strumming a few chords and picking out a few melodies. I need to practice for guitar ensemble anyway. All first year music and music tech students have to join a major ensemble as part of the course, so I joined guitar ensemble, along with Alex and Danny. Matt joined the vocal ensemble and Kyle joined the percussion ensemble. Fuck, why am I thinking about Kyle again? I guess it’s just wistful thinking. We used to be such good friends before all the shit happened, and I really miss that. Fuck, everything has gone to shit in my life and I hate that I can’t change any of it!

“Ow, fuck!” I hissed.

I looked down at my hand, grimacing at the bleeding calluses. Of course, two strings would break today, wouldn’t they?! Fuck fuck fuck it all. With a scowl I put my guitar down on my bed and grabbed a few band aids from my drawer, putting them over my fingers to stop the bleeding. I might as well go and buy some new guitar strings now, while I have nothing better to do. Nothing else can go wrong today, seriously!

After a 25 minute walk into town, I reached the music store that Alex and I work at. At least I can get discount here, so it’s not so bad.

“Yo Lucas!” I called, waving at my co-worker behind the cash register.

“Hey Jack! I didn’t think you were working today,” Lucas frowned, waving back at me.

“I’m not, I just need new strings. I broke two,” I explained, showing him my hand.

Lucas grimaced and nodded, reaching behind him for a pack of the usual guitar strings I buy. But as I reached in my pocket for my wallet, I groaned. You can’t be fucking serious!

“Shit, for fuck’s sake. I left my wallet in my dorm,” I whined, running my hand through my hair in aggravation.

What the fuck is going on today?! Why can’t anything fucking go right?!

Lucas laughed. “Do you want me to put them under the counter for you to get tomorrow when you come in for your shift?”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” I nodded. “Nothing’s going right for me today, dude, I swear,”

“Jack?”

I turned my head, frowning when I saw Alex carrying a box of merch. What the fuck?!

“I didn’t know you were working today,” I frowned.

Lucas miraculously decided to go out the back of the store at this point. Great. So he’s heard about me and Alex too.

“I got called in last night. Trisha’s ill so I said I’d cover,” Alex shrugged, putting the box on the floor.

Well that explains why I haven’t seen him this afternoon and why his phone is off.

“I, uh, I guess I’ll see you later,” I sighed.

“Wait, Jack. What’s wrong? I heard you say nothing’s going right for you today to Lucas – what happened?” Alex frowned.

At least he cares about me a little bit.

“Well, I couldn’t concentrate on my revision, then I couldn’t get hold of you, then I cracked my phone screen, then I broke two strings on my guitar and cut my fingers, then I forgot my wallet when I came here to buy replacement strings. On top of all this shit that’s happening between us at the moment, today’s been pretty fucking horrible, if I’m honest,” I told him.

Alex looked at me for a few seconds, before going behind the counter and pulling out the strings that Lucas had put away for me. What is he doing? But I couldn’t help but smile as he pulled out his wallet and pulled out a ten dollar bill, writing down the sale in the staff book before putting the money in the cash register.

“There. That’s one problem dealt with,” Alex announced, walking back around the desk to stand in front of me. “I don’t finish until 6, but if you want I’ll come straight to your dorm and we can talk this out. I hate seeing you so stressed, Jack. It’s heartbreaking,”

I smiled weakly and lifted my hands to cup his face, stroking my thumbs across his cheekbones a couple of times before pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. Maybe not all hope is lost after all.

“Love you, Lex,” I said softly.

“Love you too, Barakittykat. Now leave before you make me want to leave with you,” Alex chuckled, handing me the pack of strings.

I wriggled my eyebrows and kissed him one last time before walking backwards out the shop. Only 3 hours to go. I can fill that time without hurting myself, right? Alex winked at me just as I walked around the corner, and it was then that I knew this awkwardness and frustration between us was over. He was my Alex again, and that’s all that matters right now. Why should I ever have to worry about Kyle when I have Alex?