A & J

The hot water streaming from the shower head beat down against Jack’s back as he stood motionless in the large shower. He wasn’t sure how long he had been standing there, but the water had went from scorching hot and was now at more of a luke warm.

He had since stopped crying and was at the completely numb stage, the hot water he first had in the shower not phasing him as it beat against his back and turned it bright red.

In all honesty, Jack wasn’t sure what time it was or why he was in the shower, but he did know that he didn’t get any sleep last night in the large king sized bed that he usually shared with his boyfriend.

His boyfriend.

The same boyfriend who had ran around there house yelling and screaming, cussing and breaking things, until he stormed out of the house with his car keys and Jack wasn’t sure if he was going to come back.

Slowly, Jack took his eyes off the cream colored wall of the shower and tilted his head down. His eyes watched the water droplets cascade down his small chest and flat stomach. The large tattoo over the left side of his chest standing out and contrasting harshly against his pale skin.

As he watched the water travel lower down his long torso he caught site of the tattoo that not many people knew about. It was small and about an inch and a half tall. It sat low on his right hip so it wouldn’t be easily spotted, unless he was naked or pulled down the side of his pants and boxers to show someone.

The cursive script of the capital ‘A’ was swirly and elegant. The tattoo was a simple black and it had been on his body for the better part of a year. He only had four tattoos but the cursive ‘A’ held more meaning than the rest of them combined.

Of course people say not to get a tattoo with your lovers name or in Jack’s case initial, because relationships don’t always last, but it had been Alex’s idea. Jack wasn’t going to lie; he loved when ever he caught a glimpse of the very similar capital ‘J’ tattooed on Alex’s right hip.

Brining his hand from hanging limply at his side, he gently pressed two fingers to the tattoo and closed his eyes tightly, willing his tears to not start falling again.

For the first time Jack wished that it wasn't real and that he could simply rub it off because he was certain Alex wasn’t coming back and he couldn’t live without Alex, let alone having to stare at the tattoo for the rest of his life.

He wasn’t sure what to do next. They were leaving for Brazil in a mere four days and he was so worried that he was going to fuck things up for the band because he apparently fucked up with Alex.

Apparently, being the key word because he still didn’t know what he did wrong. He had been in LA for a couple weeks and had missed New Year’s, but he had asked and made sure several times if Alex was okay with that and every time Alex agreed. Jack had even offered to bring the older boy with him, but Alex declined.

Jack preferred the warmer weather, where Alex was happy to be home in the winter because he wanted to go snowboarding. He had taken Jack once and it hadn’t ended well. So Jack stopped bugging him about it and went to LA without him.

When he got home yesterday morning Alex was completely ecstatic to see him and had practically attacked him the moment he stepped into the house. Alex had seemed to be fine for the rest of the day until Jack had voiced his excitement about them going to Brazil in less than a week and Alex just snapped.

”I can’t wait to go to Brazil!” Jack exclaimed as he held Alex against his chest tightly. “I’ve been waiting for this tour forever!”

Alex was silent for several minutes as he looked at the half empty cartons of Chinese food spread across their glass coffee table. He took in a deep breath threw his nose before turning his head from where it was resting on Jack chest to look up at his boyfriend.

“Why are you so excited?” He asked, the comment coming out more harsh and snippy and it surprised Jack.

“Well, I’m excited to play again because we haven’t in so long. I’m also really excited to meet our fans from over there.” Jack started watching Alex’s facial expression change. “Why? Are you not excited?”

Alex didn’t answer him and instead pushed him off of Jack’s chest and stood up from the couch and started to walk away. Before he got too far Jack grabbed his wrist.

“Alex?” He questioned and he sat up on the couch.

“What?” The older boy snapped.

“What’s wrong?” Jack asked quietly, wondering why Alex was acting like this.

“Nothing.” Alex mumbled before pulling his wrist harshly from Jack’s grip. “You’ve been gone for two weeks, missed New Year’s with me and as soon as you get home you’re already ready to leave again.”

Jack stood up from the couch and turned to face Alex. “You said you were okay with me leaving? Where is all this coming from?”

Alex ignored him and began to grab the food cartons and head towards the kitchen. He wasn’t about to talk to Jack.

“Alex!” Jack shouted. “Don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you.”

Alex froze and spun around on the spot. “Excuse me?” He exclaimed a he suddenly tossed the cartons of food hard against the wall and the noodles and rice exploded everywhere.

Jack gasped at his boyfriend’s outburst. “Alex what is all this about?” He asked quietly as he made his way over to the thrown food and started to pick up what he could.

“Fucking leave it,” Alex sneered. “You’ll be leaving soon anyways.”

“Alex what the fuck?!” Jack exclaimed as he stood up and turned to face Alex. “Why are you treating me like this?”

“We get a month and half off and you decide to leave?” Alex exclaimed. “Do you want to be with me at all?”

“What?!” Jack questioned. “You said I could go! I even invited you with me! I can’t believe your throwing this back in my face now, were leaving in five days.”

“And you can’t fucking wait to leave.” Alex shot back.

“This isn’t fair Alex.” Jack said, sounding deflated. “I was looking forward to spending these next couple days with you, but you’ve ruined it.”

“I didn’t ruin anything!” Alex full on screamed now. “You fucking did!”

Jack was stunned. He hadn’t done anything wrong, or at least he didn’t think he did. He watched as Alex pulled at his hair and turned and kicked the wall hard; causing a framed picture of the entire band and crew to fall to the ground, glass shattering everywhere.

“Alex,” Jack practically whimpered as he ran over and picked up the broken picture frame. “Please stop.” He begged.

“Fuck off!” Alex screamed as he stepped up into Jack’s face. “Why don’t you just leave?”

Jack shrunk back against the wall as the glass crunched under his feet; luckily he was wearing sneakers. He had missed Alex so much and now all he wanted to do was hide and cry.

“What?” Alex laughed with no humor. “You don’t want to leave now?” Alex hollered.

Jack shrunk back further into the wall as Alex continued to scream in his face. He was wondering where his beautiful, happy boyfriend; the one who had greeted him with hungry, desperate kisses just mere hours ago, had went.

“I’ll leave then!” Alex yelled.

Alex swung his hand and knocked the half broken picture frame out of Jack’s hands and it flew several feet before crashing into a side table knocking over a framed picture of the pair kissing.

The first tear fell from Jack’s eyes as he watched the picture fall and then Alex storm out of the house. He slid down the wall slowly and finally let himself cry. Alex was mad about him leaving? Why hadn’t he said anything? If Alex had told him he didn’t want to go, he wouldn’t have left, but Alex had told him it was okay.

By the time Jack snapped out of the memories from last night tears were spilling from his deep brown eyes and he was practically clawing at the small tattoo. His right hip was now raw red and starting to hurt.

Suddenly a hand reached out and gripped Jack’s wrist tightly in his and pulled his hand away from his soar skin. Jack jumped about a foot and almost slipped and fell before he slowly looked up to see Alex staring at him with tears pouring from his own brown eyes.

“Please stop,” Alex whimpered. “You’re hurting yourself.”

Alex’s hand slowly left Jack’s wrist and Jack looked down at the tattoo and the bright red scratch mark scattered across his hip. From where he was looking down he caught site of Alex’s legs stepping into the shower and soon Alex was standing directly in front of him and Jack could see from Alex’s bellybutton down.

His tear filled eyes were glued to the ‘J’ tattoo on his boyfriend’s hip. Alex reached out slowly and gently pulled Jack towards him so they were pressed up against each other.

“The waters freezing.” Alex mumbled in to Jack’s neck as the water trickled down over Jack’s shoulders.

Jack sighed and brought his arms up and wrapped them around Alex’s neck tightly as he played with the older boy’s shorter, much darker hair. He was really confused as to where Alex came from and why he came back, but he was happy he was back.

“I’m sorry.” Alex mumbled as he pushed Jack slightly so the both were now under the cool spray of water. “I don’t know what came over me.”

Jack didn’t say anything as he hooked his head over Alex’s wet shoulder and held onto him tightly.

“I didn’t want you to go to LA,” Alex confessed. “And you gave me ever opportunity to tell you that and I didn’t. I just wanted to spend time with you, but I knew you really wanted to go to LA.”

“It’s okay,” Jack mumbled.

“No, it’s not,” Alex said as he pulled his head from Jack’s neck and pressed their foreheads together. “I snapped at you for selfish reasons and you didn’t deserve it.”

Alex gently ran his thumb over Jack’s tattoo before slipping down onto his knees and pressed a gentle kiss to the still red skin, before standing back up.

“I’m excited to go to Brazil because I get to be with you all the time.” Jack muttered quietly.

“But we won’t be alone.” Alex sighed.

Now, Jack understood. All Alex wanted was them to have time to themselves and Jack had instead gone to LA.

“We’ll still be together,” Jack pressed. “And on our days off we can sneak off and go exploring.”

Alex smiled at him at him gently and pressed their lips together lightly before pulling away and resting there foreheads together again.

Jack looked down and stared at Alex’s tattoo for a couple of seconds before looking down to his own which was still read and had scratch marks still visible. He didn’t want the tattoo gone now; he wanted it to be there forever, because that was how long he wanted to be with Alex.