Blue Moon

I sat in the field behind my house, thinking, wondering, and fuming. Am I being unreasonable? I shook my head, no, I'm not.

But then again.

I groaned and felt onto my back, looking up at the cloudy sky. It was warm out but the sun was hidden, my favorite type of day. I heard someone approach me, I prayed it wasn't Will. We haven't talked since yesterday and it was early morning, I couldn't sleep well. I didn't know when to expect Serena today.

I was surprised to see Collin take a seat next to me, gazing up at the sky. “How are you feeling?” I heard him asked.

“Like a horrible person. I'm not wrong am I?” I asked him, sitting up to be eye level.

He sat in thought for a minute. “I can't tell you. I mean, I can't imagine not having this baby now. I need the baby, I love it already, whoever it is. But if I was in the circumstances that you've been through, I would do anything to keep Emily safe.”

“He thinks I don't want children. I did, I mean I do, I think. I don't know.” I buried my face in my hands for a second. “We didn't even talk about the option before Serena brought it up..I'm assuming Will has filled you in on everything?” I asked him, not really feeling like explaining everything.

“More than enough,” he told me in a tight lipped smile.

I gave him a light smile, “I hope he didn't chew you out to much. He can be such an ass sometimes when he's angry.”

“You don't need to tell me that. Remember that month that he didn't talk to you?” I nodded, remembering it very clearly. “He was an absolute delight to be around, so trust me, I know how to handle angry Will by now.”

I couldn't help but let out a small laugh at the thought. “Will and I never argue, at least not about anything as serious as this. I don't like it.”

“Then talk to him.” Collin told me simply.

“If only it was that easy. I don't even know what I want. On one hand, I want to forget about the curse and just try to live a normal life with him but it will never truly be a normal life with his curse and when he dies, I'll be alone, probably raising a child and them asking me where their father is. I don't think I can handle that. And then there's getting rid of the curse for good and actually have a long normal life but without having children. I don't know what to expect from a child with no soul.” I turned to meet Collin's pitying gaze.

“It's a tough decision, Elizabeth. I can't tell you want to do but I can tell you that the longer you put this off, the worse it's going to get.” Collin patted my leg and got up and scuffed my hair before walking off. Collin was right, I can't put this off.

I got up and walked towards the house, knowing that I would have to go to the stables to talk to Will. I knew him well enough to know he was probably chopping up wood to keep himself at bay. I walked through the house, briefly talking to Emily to tell her where I was going before stepping out to the front of the house and started walking towards Will's property.

What was I going to tell him? I wasn't changing my mind. I would rather have a life with him and not have a family than not have him after who knows how long. I just couldn't risk it. I knew Will would still be angry, I knew he wouldn't understand maybe.

I looked down at my feet and kicked a small rock further ahead but it hit a figure. I stopped immediately and looked up to see Serena staring back at me. “I'm sorry, Serena, we haven't decided yet.” I told her, worrying that maybe she wouldn't give us more time.

“There's no need to fret, I know it's a hard decision, Elizabeth.” I smiled, relieved that she understood. “Although, I will need an answer by sunset or I'm afraid our deal won't be viable.”

“Of course,” I nodded and then a thought occurred to me. “Serena, what do you mean by our first born not having a soul?”

“They won't be capable of love. They wouldn't recognize you as a parental figure and most likely respect you in someways but they will never love you with out a soul to bare.” Serena look at me like it wasn't a horrific curse, like she's don't this hundreds of times before.
“Th-thank you.” I told her, now definitely knowing my answer, “have you talked to Will yet?”

“Yes, and to answer your next question, he hasn't changed his mind.” I shut my mouth and furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. Would Will seriously want a soulless child?

“I do believe, Elizabeth, if you don't mind me saying, that Will wants a child still not because it would be his but because it would be a continuation of you and him. I also believe he's in a state of denial about giving up the chance to have a family.”

I could only slowly nod my head in understanding. Will is so damn stubborn in what he wants and believes. “Serena, let's say that we do take the deal. How would we prevent having a child like that?”

She immediately responded, “Yes, there was a part of the deal I left out yesterday. I can't believe it slipped my mind, this is usually what breaks the deal most times. Since you agree not have a child without a soul and to prevent it from happening, the deal also states that you won't be able to bare any children at all.”

I stood, for some reason I was shocked even though it did make sense. “No children at all?”

“I'm afraid not.” She responded with the same monotone attitude she seemed to carry all the time.

“Is there another curse we could do? Perhaps maybe our youngest child instead? Anything?” I suddenly felt heavy, realizing that I want to have children.

“The only other option is that you would give up your soul instead,” she bargained.

“And what would that ensue? Would I not be able to love anymore?” I asked, frightened by the thought.

“Yes.”

“That would be impossible though, Will and I are soul mates. I can't not love him.” I pointed out.

“After your soul is taken though, it would be impossible.” She clarified.

I sighed, “Dammit, why does this have to be so difficult.”

“I am sorry you have to make this decision, Elizabeth, but my only solution is to make sure that you are absolutely sure of your decision because there is no going back.” After that she seemed to let the wind take her away in a mist.

I could only stand there, defeated. I continued on towards the stables though and soon I was running because I just couldn't bare with the thought of not being able to love Will anymore. As soon as I reached the stables I stopped and caught my breath. Will was covered in sweat, his shirt sticking to him in various places. His face was screwed in thought and I knew he was having just as much trouble as I was over this.

“Will,” I choked out, visibly I looked upset because I was at a loss for what to do.

He looked over at me, at first with a quick glance to acknowledge my presence but as soon as he saw how torn I was he set the ax down and walked over to me.

“Come here,” he said as he wrapped me up tightly. Forgetting about our differences, I just needed to be near him at that moment, in his hold.

“I don't know what to do,” I whispered quietly.

He didn't answer at first but I felt him relax a little upon his response. “Me either.”

I pulled away, “Did you talk to her, Serena?”

He nodded solemnly. “She told me I couldn't ever have children if we went through this. It's so unfair.”

His face twisted into a pained look, “Not ever? She never told me that.”

“That's because she didn't clarify,” I ran a hand through my knotty hair, “there was another option.”

“What would that be?” Will looked like he didn't want to know.

“That I would give up my soul--,” I started but Will was already shaking his head.

“Absolutely not, no.” I sighed and silently agreed.

“Will, I can't lose you,” I told him deflated. “I know you want a family, I know you want a normal life but how normal is it going to be when our child won't ever love us? That's worse than you being a werewolf.”

“I know, you're right.” I looked up at him surprised.

“You don't have to agree with me just because it'll make me feel better,” I told him, wrapping my arms around his waste.

“I'm not. I was just to quick to assume the worst. You're right, I should be healthy and I shouldn't put that option on you to either have me with a loveless child or not have me at all. It's not fair to you.”

“What about you though? I didn't know how badly you wanted a child until she brought it up.” I asked, still not convinced that wasn't changing his mind entirely for his sake.

“I do, but if that means that one of our children won't love us. That's more painful sounding that the actual curse. That wouldn't be a child, that would be just an empty shell.” I nodded in agreement.

“So it's decided then?” We both looked startled as Serena appeared next to us. I quickly unwrapped myself from Will and straightened up.

We both nodded. “Okay then, Eliza, I will need you to step forward.”

I was bewildered, “Why me? Isn't it Will you need?”

“Not yet,” she smiled, holding one her hands out for me.

I took it and she pulled me towards her. Will looked on nervously, not knowing what to expect either. She had me stand in front of her, “This may hurt a little,” she warned.

“Wha—,” I suddenly felt a roaring pain in my abdomen. I fell to the floor and everything went fuzzy. I could make out Will running to me but being held back by some invisible force Serena was putting up. Sweat collected on my forehead and my breathing went shallow and almost lifeless. I was in so much pain, I couldn't register it. I was in shock, my silent screams and cries made my throat go dry. I looked down towards my abdomen and saw Serena's hand twisting and pulling towards her. What the hell is she doing?

“Stop it!” I could hear Will yell, “you're killing her!” It felt like someone was turning the lights on and off. I was in and out, until finally I could breath. The pain subsided and all I could do was lay there motionless with my eyes closed.

“It is done,” I heard Serena say. My eyes snapped open in time to see her walk over to Will, who was still being barricaded off from me, and pull out a piece of metal. I saw heat rise from her hand like on a hot summers day but no fire. She took Will's struggling arm and pressed it down tightly. I saw him wince and clutch his hand into a fist. She lifted it and waved her hand over it briefly.

“Now you bare the mark of my line, its a seal of our deal.” She told us as she walked over to me. “As for you,” a small bottle of liquid appeared in her hand, “I'm sorry for the torture that I just put you through. I thought not preparing you for the pain would be the best way to go. Drink this and the bleeding should stop.”

“Wha..what..bleeding?” I asked incoherently and looked down where her gaze was. Blood was pooling around my thighs, I gasped and looked up at her like she was crazy.

“I know it's shocking, Elizabeth, but I took care of the curse and any chance of you having children. You don't want to know what I did.” She gave me a sad smile and set the bottle in my lap before disappearing into the air. Will was at my side as soon as the barrier broke. His hands were all over my face.

“Eliza, look at me.” I couldn't though, I haven't even processed what the hell just happened. That was it. It was done, just like that? No fire or shouting to some voodoo gods? Just some excruciating pain and a brand mark for Will and that was that?

“Eliza! You're scaring me,” I heard Will shout at me. I turned to him and his eyes were wide and he was shaking hard. I took his hand in mine and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I couldn't have children. Ever.

I shut my eyes and bit my lip, suddenly feeling very emotional. I could feel the tears sting my eyes as I couldn't choke them down before I let out a sob. I felt heartbroken all of a sudden. It hit me, the weight of the decision we just made. No children, no generations to come after us.

“No, no,” I felt Will whisper to me as he held me tightly, pulling me into him, shielding me from the outside world. “Eliza, it's alright. We made the right choice.”

“I'm..fine,” I said shakily, “it just happened so fast, I—I wasn't prepared.”

“I know,” Will told me as he kissed my temple. I moved away from his grasp and looked at him, he gave me a sad look as he wiped the tears from my eyes. “Let's get you cleaned up.”

I nodded, not wanting to look down at the stable floor or my dress for that matter. He helped me up and took the bottle from my hands. My abdomen spasm with every step I took. I tried not to let it be obvious but after a few feet, Will swept me up off my feet.

“Put me down,” I whined pathetically.

“Stop being stubborn, you can't walk.” He told me, a smirk on his face. He was enjoying this.

He carried me up to the bath and set me down slowly and placed the bottle on the vanity. I steadied myself and reached back to untie my dress but I was just so sore and too shaky.

“It's alright, I got it,” Will told me and he untied the dress and loosened the straps. I held onto my dress, keeping myself covered up as he finished. I felt his finger trace one of the scars on my back and I felt goosebumps rise on my skin in the difference in temperature on his hand to my clammy skin.

“I'll give you some privacy,” he told me as he retracted his hand and shut the door behind him. I sighed and let my dress dropped to my feet. I turned and stared at myself in the mirror. I was quite a sight, my eyes were slightly puffy, my abdomen was a little swollen. My hand grazed my belly and I didn't feel any remorse. I was sad, part of me wonders if we me the right choice but what was done was done and I couldn't change anything now, even if I wanted to.

_______________________________________________________________________________

After my bath and drinking the sour contents of the vile, I felt better. I was sore sure but emotionally I was...better. I felt like I should be upset or regretful. Most would feel that way right?

I slipped into my room and changed into a nightgown and threw a robe on to cover myself up in case someone barged in. I sat at my vanity and brushed my hair out. It was almost dry and I knew I couldn't control the curls that would going to form. I ran my fingers through my hair and left it as it was. I walked over and sat on the edge of my bed. I felt off, I suppose it was expected since the one thing most women are made for was taken away from me. I felt a little lost, maybe mournful. I didn't really know what to feel.

A knock on my door broke me out of my thoughts and I wrapped my robe up around me a little bit tighter as I opened the door. Will was leaning against my door frame. He was without a shirt, which wasn't surprising since he said that he can't sleep when shirt get all tangled around him through the night.

“I had to see how you were doing,” he whispered quietly. Emily and Collin were a few rooms down, no doubtingly sleeping. That's all Emily did theses days it seemed.

“Alright,” I shrugged honestly, looking down. I felt his hands pushed me back carefully as he enter my room, shutting the door behind him.

“What are you doin—” I was cut off by his mouth slowly placing itself on mine. It wasn't unusual for Will to raise affection so suddenly but there was something different about this kiss. It was careful, like he thought I would break any second. I felt my back press up against the wall as Wills hands rest on either side of me.

I broke the kiss and held his face in my hands, “Will, whats wrong?”

His lines pressed into a thin line and he hung his head down, “I thought I was going to lose you today. You should of seen what she was doing to you, Eliza. I've never seen someone in so much pain. I mean I've seen a lot things but I was so helpless, I felt so helpless. I don't know what I'd if I lost you.”

I cocked my head to the side, swallowing the onslaught of emotions rising up in me, “You don't have to worry about that. I'm okay now, I'm fine.”

He shook his head and let it fall in between the crook of my neck. This was something new, for Will to be this vulnerable around me. Usually he's the tough one, the wall that holds us up but tonight, he needed a break. So I held him tightly for what seemed like forever. Finally, he raised his head and his eyes looked into mine. There was something hidden in there, a look that was meant for me. I've only seen it a few times. I remember seeing it after I told him I loved him and after he regained his memory. I knew it wasn't a look he threw out all the time.

I looked right back at him as his hand brushed over my scar, I looked down. I felt suddenly so naked under his stare, I felt like he could see right through me. I felt his finger lift my chin and his lips pressed onto mine, softly at first before it rose like the sea into brewing passion. Will and I don't really have moments like these. These intensely private moments and intimate moments. We ignore these moments because we're to busy fixing each other all the time.

I could feel his hand run under my robe and down to the small of my back as my hands twisted in his hair slightly. His skin was hot as my hands settle wrapped around his neck tightly, pressing me as close to him as I possibly could. I could feel the emotion between us, it was euphoric feeling. After a minute though, the kiss wore down to a lingering kiss. He pulled away and almost immediately started to laugh.

“What?” I asked confused and a little self-conscious.

He stopped laughing and held a goofy grin on his face, “You lips are swollen.” My hand flew up to my mouth and I couldn't help but laugh as well. Of course they would be after that.

“Come on,” I pulled him towards my bed. I climbed up and layed down. He climbed in next to me and I curled up next to him, my head on his chest. I let out a sigh and closed my eyes.

“Eliza?” I heard him ask after he turned down the oil lamp that I used at nights.

“Hmm?” I grunted, growing tired.

“Are you going to be okay?” He asked and I could tell the feeling he brought into my room had not left him yet.

I opened my eyes and looked up at him through the darkness, “Yes, I'll be just fine.”

He responded with wrapping an arm around me tightly, his head rested on top of mine. “I love you,” I heard him mumbled.

I couldn't help but smile, “And I love you.”