Aim High, Never Rest

I spent most of the following day holed up in my bedroom, listening to music on my phone and staring up at the ceiling above my bed, just trying to process everything. It was amazing how your life could change so much in just one night.

On a positive note, I had met a bunch of new people that I considered to be potential friends. Tyson, Collin, and Nathan had proven to be great distractions, and I had actually managed to salvage the remainder of the night, just dancing and having a great time.

Then there was the drama. That’s the only downside to putting yourself out there on the social scene, you’re always bound to meet people you don’t get along with, and apparently I had made two enemies that night, all while losing the best friend I had here.

John Mayer’s voice slowly faded into the background, replaced by the annoying default xylophone ring of an incoming call. I glanced at the screen, and as soon as I saw the name, my thumb pressed the decline button, sending the call directly to my voicemail.

Logan Mitchell.

It was the fifth time he’d called today, and I’m sure I’d be left with another voicemail.

“Hey Kandi, it’s Logan. Listen….I’m really sorry about what happened last night, and I was hoping that maybe we could hang out this afternoon. Snow cones on me? Anyways, call me back when you get this…Bye.”

The following four voicemails were along the same line. His voice just grew more assured with each call, and the bribe changed from snow cones to lunch to a movie. I just needed some space. I didn’t want another encounter with Camille; I’m not much of a fighter, and I had a feeling that was what she was looking for.

Even though I needed to distance myself from Logan, it was a little lonely and boring in my apartment. A part of me needed girl talk, just someone to gush with who wouldn’t judge me or make fun of me, just someone that would listen. That was the one thing I had in South Carolina that I missed here.

I could’ve called my best friend back home, but there was a three-hour time difference and she would have no clue who these people that I was talking about were.

My mom’s voice stirred my thoughts.

“Kandi, you have company,” her cheery voice echoed from the living room.

I pulled myself out of bed and slowly pulled open the door, expecting to be met with desperate brown eyes and tufts of dark hair. Needless to say, I was a little lost for words when I saw Jo Taylor standing on the other side of my bedroom door.

“Hi,” she chirped, flashing me an overly enthusiastic grin. “I hope this isn’t a bad time.”

“No, no, you’re fine,” I replied, shifting in the doorway to allow her to pass through.

“I’ll give you two ladies some privacy,” my mom announced with a warm smile before slipping through the front door.

Jo responded with a polite smile. “Thanks Ms. Jenkins.”

Just great.

Jo sunk onto my bed, her fingers trailing across the duvet as her dark eyes gazed at the posters on the walls.

“So what’s up?” I asked. I could feel my toes curl and dig into the carpet.

“Oh nothing much…” her voice trailed off. There was a false innocence in her expression. “Sorry for just dropping by like this, but I don’t have your number or anything, and I wanted to see how you were doing…and once again apologize for the scene my friend caused last night.”

I was so sick of apologies.

“Seriously, it’s over and done with now. It’s not really a big deal, I’d just rather have nothing to do with either one of them,” I sighed, taking a seat beside her.

“Camille’s really not a bad person. I mean, I know that’s probably a little hard for you to believe right now, but she’s only really that…headstrong…when it comes to Logan. But that’s just what love does to people, right?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

And if love is something that turns you into some raving crazy person and makes you forget who you are, I honestly don’t want any part of it.

Awkward silence filled the gap between us. My eyes stayed focused on the floor while Jo’s hands fidgeted in her lap.

“And I also kind of wanted to ask you for a favor,” Jo’s words tumbled out.
The first thought that entered my mind was what could Jo Taylor possibly need from me.

“What is it?”

“Well, the casting directors of New Town High are looking for someone to play the role of my character’s best friend for a few episodes, and I heard that you were an actress, so I thought you may be interested in reading for the part? I’d just rather the role be filled by someone I know as opposed to a stranger.”

Jo’s offer took me by surprise, and I wasn’t exactly sure how to respond. On one hand, New Town High was a highly rated show among young adults, so being a part of it could earn me some much-needed Hollywood exposure. Then again, I wasn’t sure of Jo’s authenticity, if her offer was genuine or just fueled by pity. While I didn’t want my career to be a charity case, it would be nice to have connections in the industry. Why not start with the star of a hit teen melodrama?

“Um, I’d be glad to. Thanks so much for the offer…I don’t really know what to say.”

I was turning into a fumbling idiot.

“That’s fantastic!” Jo exclaimed, her face flooding with excitement. “It’s going to be great working with you.”

I couldn’t tell if she was really happy with the possibility of me being on the show or if she was just faking it. That’s the problem with acting, it leaves you second-guessing people.

“Thanks, I’m looking forward to it myself,” I said with a smile as we both headed towards the door.

“Awesome, so I’ll meet you downstairs around five and take you to the studio?”

I responded with a nod, but just as Jo’s hand grasped the doorknob, someone knocked from the other side, startling us both.

Jo rocked onto her tiptoes to peek through the peephole, a faint smile forming across her lips as she immediately pulled open the door.

Kendall’s broad shoulders and lean frame cast a shadow against the white linoleum floor. His green eyes lit up when they landed on his girlfriend’s figure.

“Hey, I didn’t expect to see you here,” he chuckled as he walked in, flicking his dirty blonde locks from his eyes.

“The feeling’s mutual,” Jo smirked as she leaned up to kiss his cheek.

It was like everyone had that special someone except me.

“Anyways,” Kendall spoke, his eyes boring into mine, “Kandi, Logan’s really sorry and he really wants to talk to you. I don’t feel like I can go back to the apartment unless you come with me.”

I laughed at his desperation. “Well I’m sorry Kendall, but I’m not coming with you. I’ll talk to Logan when I’m ready.”

Kendall sighed. His shoulders slumped, but he could tell that I wasn’t going to give in, so he continued his conversation with Jo as I slipped out of the apartment.

There was just something entirely awkward about being around two people so…couple-y that I needed to escape.

I thought about stopping by Maxine’s apartment, but I figured her bandmates were probably there, so it would be strange to talk with her about the party and this odd friendship with Jo with the guys passing through. Plus Maxine didn’t really come off as the type that would care about my problems, so I continued up the stairs past her floor.

As I stopped in the stairwell to the next floor, I remembered noticing Carley dancing with James the night before, and I wondered what was going on between them. And you’d have to be deaf not to have heard the other girls talking shit about her at the party, so I wanted to check in on her and see how she was doing. She seemed like a chill enough girl, and I didn’t think she deserved that type of hatred just because James was interested in her.

But just as I stepped out into the hall, I noticed Logan exit from one of the apartments, so I immediately ducked back into the stairwell, not wanting to face him at that time. The last flight of stairs led up to the roof, and I was surprised to find that the door was unlocked, so I slipped through.

My brown eyes were blinded by the Los Angeles sun as I stepped out onto the roof. The view was absolutely amazing. I could see the lush green lawn of Palm Woods park, the cerulean shimmer of the pool, and the cars whizzing by on the street below. It was just the distance I needed. As I sat on the rooftop above the city, I felt like I was finally removed from the fishbowl life I had been living for the past month or so. I could feel my old self slowly returning to the surface, and it was an amazing rush.

The sounds of the traffic and gossip below seemed to fade away into some meaningless lullaby as I let the sun shine down on me.

Maybe with this job, things would begin to change for the better. Then I wouldn’t feel like I needed Logan.