Aim High, Never Rest

I wore a white colored dress that barely reached my knees. Of course, I was dressed to impress. A date with Carlos was a score for me. It was something I’ve been anticipating ever since he asked to hang out tonight.

Why did he ask me out? I’m not the prettiest girl here at Palm Woods. I may be a super model, but I only pose suggestive ads for perfumes wearing next to nothing, with the exception of upper brassiere and a pair of panties.

Kandi is an actress, rocking on features in teen magazines already for her success as Dak Zevon’s gorgeous costar. Varsity Vampires 3 is going to be the teen movie of the year and she is talented enough to get a main lead role for it.

Maxine, despite the fact that she is a bitch and fought with Carley over Jordan for some apparent reason, is a beauty herself. Her band was actually going somewhere and won the heart of a decently gorgeous rocker.

Carley became known as the girl who held resistance over the big-bad Maxine, actually has a great career going along for her. She starred in a selection of commercials so far and is promised to accomplish great things in the future. James is obviously falling head over heels for her.

Camille is pretty, even though her method acting went overboard at times. She has more potential than I do at making it big. She is really pretty.

Jo is in New Town High, a show that hooked everyone into following every single episode. She is always on the cover of magazines, always loved by millions.

What do I have? A failed modeling career that is only enough for me to raise my whole family of hopelessness?

Yeah, that’s not so much. I pose half naked for money, what is the point?

I have no IQ, no skinny body, no beauty, no talent, and no potential. What was Carlos thinking when he asked me out?

I rolled my eyes and thought back to the present. I am here, right now sitting on the sofa, waiting for Carlos to come.

I know I’m stupid for showing up 45 minutes earlier than our planned time. But I’m so excited. One movie night with Carlos can do so much to my self esteem. It can make me feel accomplished. It can also make my heart melt since my crush for him is my main objective to get through the day.

It is unhealthy to like a guy this much. He is the one who compliments me like a normal person, sees me in a casual perception, like an actual friend.

That is why Carlos is a wonderful guy.

“Hey Hannah” I look up and see James, looking sadly down at his feet.

It is not normal to see jolly, gorgeous, arrogant James sad. He needs to turn that frown upside down.

“Sit” I patted the sofa seat beside me.

He sat down and gave me a weak smile.

“You look extra pretty today, what’s the deal?”

“Date with Carlos” I answered.

“Oh, I see. Just take good care of him. It’s about time he gets a girl”

I blushed, not knowing if I’m good enough to actually be his girl.

Being his girl takes a lot of willpower and happiness. It is impossible for someone so happy to be with someone so emotionally drained like myself.

“Why are you looking so blue, Mr. Delightful Diamond?” I decided to change the subject.

“Delightful Diamond? I’m not feeling delightful at all”

“It’s called sarcasm, it’s supposed to contradict your actual feeling” I mumbled.

James still looked at me with confusion written all over his face. I feel a bit better about my IQ, but it is in his characteristic to look lost, maybe he is really intelligent. Besides, he has a career and a pretty face. I do not have either.

“Never mind, why are you upset, James?”

“Nothing really important” he tried to put off.

“Apparently, this matter is important enough to affect your mood” I don’t know why I’m leading myself into helping him out, but I’m just hoping that seeing his flaws can help me overcome mine. Impossible of me to use his imperfections selfishly for my own personal benefit but I really need to find a reason for me to appreciate myself.

Right now, I have none.

Also, if I actually help him, I can respect myself.

Hopefully, just maybe.

James looked at me like he never had before. This look of hope made me feel bad for my actual intention of helping him out.

“It’s girl problems”

“You, James Diamond, have girl problems?” my eyes bulged, nearly popping out of its sockets.

“It’s not funny” he muttered.

“I never said it was. Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so rude. Continue, I promise I will listen”

I assume it’s about the girl he’s been drooling over. I know it is.

“I like Carley but she likes Jordan”

Bingo!

I wasn’t aware that Carley was hitting on the rockstar Jordan until the news of the fight broke out.

“You shouldn’t worry because he is with Maxine, last time I checked”

“But this doesn’t change the fact that Carley likes him”

“She know she has no chance with Jordan”

“But this doesn’t change the fact that Carley likes him” James repeated, looking a bit irritated with me.

Poor guy.

But my self esteem did not improve.

“Just show her how much of a charming man you are. Keep her away from Maxine. Tell her you are on her side and that Maxine is wrong and a complete bitch, she will like you more if you side with her. She really hates Maxine and I really don’t blame her. But side with her, don’t show her how jealous you are of Jordan. Just be casual with her and get your James Diamond swag back, okay?”

“Like pretend that I don’t care?”

“I don’t know, just don’t act like the jealous prick. No one really likes that”

“Thanks Hannah, and I got your back in case something happens between you and Carlos”

James got up from his seat on the sofa, in a better mood right now apparently. He shot me an appreciative smile and ran to the direction of the elevator.

The elevator door opened just as he pressed the door and Carlos came out of it, looking extremely handsome in a black button up shirt and pants. His tie looks good on him, making the knots in my stomach churn.

I got up from my seat as he made his way over to me. He smiled at me and held his hand out for me to take.

I wiped my clammy hand at my white silk dress and took it.

“You look pretty” Carlos complimented.

I blushed.

I hope he is not saying it just to be nice, because we all know he is the nicest person in this industry.

“Thanks”

“I hope you don’t mind but Logan is driving us there”

“Logan?”

I hope Logan won’t do anything to ruin our moments, not that I predicted us to have any.

“Yeah, I really don’t want to walk all the way to the movie theater and Logan is the only one with the driver’s permit”

“Driver’s permit? Wouldn’t you need an adult to be in the car?”

“Shh, not when you keep it quiet” Carlos put his index finger on my lip, a cute attempt to shut me up. Trust me, it did.

I stared blankly at him, not knowing what to do. My whole body was frozen in place.

“Let’s not keep the driver waiting then” I finally said.

“Yes, why not?”

Carlos and I left the lobby to see that Logan already parked his red colored SUV in the front.

Carlos opened the door for me and I nearly swooned on my way inside. He is such a gentleman, not that I’m not aware. He was always respectful to others, a quality that I loved so much.

“Hi Logan” I said when I sat on the seat closest to the window.

“Hey Hannah, how are you?” Logan turned his head back to take a glance at me.

He is dressed in a dark colored sweater and jeans, when I peeked at his attire.

“I’ve been good, how about you”

“Peachy”

“Peachy?” I smiled teasingly.

“Yes, are you going to criticize my choice of vocabulary or are you going to let me drive so I can get you two there in time for the movie?” Logan questioned quite defensively.

I laughed, turning to Carlos.

He sat in the middle seat right beside me. This didn’t help my already sweaty palm.

“What movie are we watching?” I asked him.

“Too bad he didn’t let Kendall, Carley, and I choose the movie” Logan mumbled from the front seat.

“We are watching Benny The Bear: Journey to Baratoga Islands” Carlos exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air excitedly.

I chuckled nervously, nodding. Seeing Carlos this excited made me actually want to agree with his movie choice. Just seeing excitement seeping through him was enough, just worth watching the movie.

“You know, Hannah, it’s not too late to back out on this. I can just turn the car right around” Logan spoke almost teasingly.

“Logan! You’re supposed to help me out!” Carlos complained.

“Sorry, bro, I can’t do much help considering the movie selection for your date” Logan defended.

“It’s okay, Barry The Bear is fine” I said, stopping the mini conflict forming between the two friends.

“Just FYI, it’s Benny The Bear, not Barry” Logan corrected.

I laughed, shaking my head. Logan’s presence was helping me keep my nerves in check.

“And to think that you were the one so against the selection” I muttered.

Logan mocked a laugh and continued his drive to the movie theater.

I shot occasional glances at Carlos during the ride. I was so scared that he would change his mind and mutter an excuse for Logan to turn that car back around and drive us back to Palm Woods. But it is just my paranoia speaking.

Logan stopped the car in front of the theater entrance and Carlos reached for the door and opened it. He got out and helped me off as well.

“Thanks” I muttered to him.

He shot me a huge smile in return. He has a beautiful smile.

“Have fun kids!” Logan waved.

“Kids?”

“Just… go!” Logan gestured for me to go inside before driving away.

Carlos was jumping on the balls of his toes when I turned around to face him. For some reason, he is a bit unsettled. Am I making him reconsider his decision?

“You know, if you don’t like the movie, we can change it”

“If you want to watch it then I am more than willing to” I answered.

He stared at me, giggly eyes, ones that show excitement.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really”

“Then let’s go!”

We went on to purchase two tickets for Benny The Bear: Journey to Baratoga, bought popcorn, slushy, and twizzlers.

Then we went inside the theater filled with elementary school kids (or younger) and their parents.

“Let’s sit in the back” Carlos suggested.

“Like the cool kids” I laughed.

He found a seat and I sat right next to him. He settled in the popcorn and his slushy as the movie began. I was resisting the urge to grab a handful of popcorn for myself. But I need to watch my weight. Popcorn has butter. Butter is fattening.

Then I decided to just grab one. I was starving anyways. Today, I only ate a bowl of salad, and that was for breakfast.

I reached for it, accidently stroking Carlos’ cold hand. I immediately pulled my hand away and blushed. He mumbled a string of apologies and encouraged me to grab my handful first. When I did, I see the outline of his hand reach for the popcorn.

My heart was beating so fast and I feel my whole body burning. He is so cute, just eating his popcorn and watching the brown colored bear on the screen with fascination. He is unlike anyone else I know and that’s exactly what I liked about him. I hope he never changes for anyone, because no one is ever worth it.

“Come on, Benny! You can do it!” Carlos yelled, flicking his fistful of popcorn up in the process.

I never want him to change, I repeat.

The rest of the movie ended in a blur, and I was having more fun watching Carlos’ reaction than the actual movie. He was getting so worked up over Benny’s adventure that I had to appreciate with all of my heart at how unwilling he is to let go of his childhood.

Carlos walked out of the movies, jumping excitedly on his toes. I assume that the movie was really interesting, judging by the fact that he is unable to stop talking about it.

“That balloon was a trap and I had a feeling it was. I didn’t know the evil wolf hid the key” he continued gushing about it.

All I did was smile at him, because seeing him happy makes me happy. I don’t even care what he is happy about. It didn’t matter that I didn’t concentrate on the movie, it didn’t matter if the movie was not for our age group, because in the end, Carlos’ excitement profited all of those above.

Logan picked us up, and I feel bad that he actually waited in the parking lot until the movie was over. I call that friendship loyalty. He would wait for two hours just for his friend and date. I really hope for friends like Logan.

“So how was the movie?” Logan asked, and he immediately regretted asking.

On our way back to Palm Woods, Carlos talked about the movie non-stop. Even if Logan and I wanted to talk, we had no given room or time to do it. Carlos just talked on and on about the movie. I don’t mind though. Hearing his voice, coated with excitement was enough.

I’m even honored to be chosen to accompany him to see a movie he was so excited about.

Logan parked the car outside the entrance to Palm Woods and Carlos stopped talking about the movie. He helped me out of the car as the doormen of the hotel closed the door.

We walked in the lobby, now full of people and energy.

“I’ll walk you to your room” Carlos said.

“It’s only a floor higher than yours”

“But I’ll still do it”

“I’d like that” I smiled.

We got in the elevator and pressed the button to get to the third floor. The elevator ride was silent and then the door threw open and Carlos held the door open for me once again.

“Thanks” I said for about the millionth time today.

Carlos and I walked quietly to 3J, my family’s hotel room and stood there, awkwardly facing each other. He shot me a sweet smile and I returned it. He placed his hand on my shoulder and that’s when my hands start shaking and sweating like never before.

He leaned forward, as if about to kiss me and I did the same. Just in a fair distance for our lips to be touched, he pulled back spastically moving his hands around nervously. He bounced on his toes once again and mumbled to himself. Did I mention that his back now turned to me? When our lips were so close from being touched? Yeah bummer.

“I don’t know how to kiss, I don’t know how to kiss” he mumbled over and over again.

He rambled on and on, pacing around in pointless circles, mumbling to himself.

I feel bad. I hope I didn’t intimidate him. But I really wanted to kiss him. I want to take our friendship further.

But if he is not ready, I shouldn’t rush him.

“Hey” I placed a hand on his shoulder, even though it was still sweaty from my nerves.

He stopped and shot me a look of apology.

“Don’t beat yourself up for it. We can always hang out another time, okay? If you are not ready, it’s okay. We have more chances, or at least I hope we do”

Carlos’ look of panic immediately turned into a smile.

“Really?”

“Really, Carlos”

“Cool, I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a wonderful night!” he turned and made his way to the elevator.

“You too Carlos, you too”

And I turned to insert the room key into the door.