Aim High, Never Rest

I was more than a little relieved when I saw Logan step out of the elevator. I wasn’t exactly sure what I had just happened during my wait in the lobby, but whatever the hell it was, I wanted no part of it.

I’m not a fan of getting involved in other people’s problems.

I didn’t notice the stack of books in his arms until he was close enough to touch. A couple black and white composition books lay across his arms, forming the base of the stacks. They were topped off with various brochures and maps of the planetarium we were visiting.

“You didn’t tell me we were writing a book on Jupiter,” I joked as I stood up from my place on the couch, dropping my phone into my purse as I slung it over my shoulder.

“Ha ha,” he replied dryly, shifting the stack underneath one arm as we began to walk towards the door.

“Seriously, what’s all the stuff for?”

“This” he began as he slipped one of the brochures from his grip, “is a little book of facts about Jupiter. I’d like to know what I’m getting into before I go. And this” he pulled out another brochure, “is a map of the exhibit so that we don’t get lost. And this-“

“Got it,” I laughed, cutting him off as I pulled the door open for him.

We walked out into the parking lot, and I squinted my eyes against the harsh mid-afternoon sun.

“So where did you park?” he asked. His brown eyes scanned the parking lot, trying to guess which car was mine.

My gaze shifted to my usual parking spot at the very edge of the Palm Woods parking lot. I always parked in that exact same spot, the only exception being when I had to pick up groceries. It was my own little sneaky way of working some exercise into my day, as cheesy as it may be.

“All the way over there,” I sighed as I lazily stretched my arm out to point to the farthest spot. “Bet you wish you hadn’t have brought all that stuff.”

He rolled his eyes in response before he followed me across the scorching pavement.

There it stood in its usual place, a sliver beacon of freedom that glistened beneath the Los Angeles sun, calling to me, wanting me to drive it all over the city, anything to get away from this place.

“Here it is,” I said proudly, waving towards the silver Toyota Rav4. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Oh yes,” he replied with a grin. “Can we go now?” He shifted the stack to his other arm uncomfortably.

“Sure.” I dug around in my purse for my big green Hello Kitty keychain. Without it, it would definitely be impossible for me to ever find my keys amongst all the junk I carried around with me.

Finally feeling the familiar plastic brush against my fingers, I fished out my keys, holding them up triumphantly for a second before pushing them into the lock. My hand gripped the handle in a failed attempt to open the driver’s door before turning the key in the other direction to be greeted by the click of an unlocked door.

From the corner of my eye, I could see Logan walk around to the passenger’s side, and I reached down to press the black button to unlock all of the doors before I slid into the sit. I stretched across the front row of seats to open Logan’s door for him since his hands were still full.

“Thanks,” he mumbled as he climbed inside.

“You can just throw your things in the back,” I replied, cocking my head backwards towards the backseat as I stuck the key into the ignition, revving the engine in the process.

“I see you windin’ and grindin’ up on that pole. I know you see me lookin’ at you, and you already know-“ Akon’s voice burst from all four speakers in the small SUV.

My hand flew towards the dial, my finger jabbing into the power button as I tried to remain chill.

Logan shot me a suspicious glance as he set his things in a neat pile in the center of the seats behind us.

So I like to blast explicit rap music while I drive, what’s the big deal?

I put the car in reverse, holding my foot on the brake as I shuffled through my stack of CDs in the center console. I figured Jack Johnson was good, non-awkward driving music, so I slipped the album in as I backed out of my space, constantly checking all of my mirrors until I was in the clear.

“So how’s your day been?” I asked as I gripped the steering wheel with one hand, slowly navigating out of the parking lot and out onto the street.

“Eh, it’s been okay. Nothing to really write home about. What about yours?” His fingers drummed along the armrest.

“Pretty good so far,” I grinned. “You’re gonna have to give me directions because I have no clue where we’re going.”

“Okay, I’ll make sure we don’t get lost,” he laughed. “Guess all of my maps come in handy.”

“You got me.”

“Looks like you just have to turn right after these next two traffic lights,” he said, his eyes squinted as he tried to make out the symbols and street names on his map.

“Okay, that doesn’t sound too hard. I’m not the best at sudden lane changes,” I admitted.

“At least you have a license; I just have my permit.”

“True.”

Silence filled the small space for a moment as I tried to navigate through the busy LA traffic. Logan’s deep brown eyes were focused on all the cars that passed us by.

“So…Kandi…” he began, reaching back to scratch the back of his head. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but why are you even staying at the Palm Woods? I don’t think you’ve ever mentioned it.”

I kept my eyes glued to the road ahead as I spoke. “I’m kinda testing the waters on this whole acting thing. I’m not entirely sure if I want to make a career out of it though.”

He laughed to himself. “You don’t wear it on your sleeve like most of the girls here do.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Not really, I was just saying. It’s actually kinda refreshing that you don’t let that define you.”

“Why thank you, Logan,” I replied, glancing over at him. “What about you? I mean, I know you’re in the band and everything, but….you know…what about before?”

“Turn right up ahead,” he added calmly. With my mom as my most frequent passenger, I wasn’t used to someone not yelling directions at me and startling the shit out of me. It was a nice change but would definitely take some getting used to.

“And do you want the truth or the bullshit answer I keep telling myself?”

I pretended to ponder a moment before spitting out my answer, “The truth.”

He sighed as he shook his head, his eyes remaining focused on the gray vinyl of the dashboard as he spoke. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love the whole band thing and I enjoy singing with my three best friends, but ever since I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be a doctor.”

My eyes stared blankly at the road as my own helplessness overtook me in that instant. “I guess we’re kinda sorta in the same boat.”

“Yeah.”

Jack Johnson’s optimistic voice filled the car as we sat in traffic, neither of us quite sure of what to say. The upbeat melodies of his acoustic guitar were a perfect contrast to our despondent outlooks. Even though I felt a little guilty for bringing Logan down (hopeless wasn’t really his best shade), I also felt somewhat relieved that, for the first time since I’d touched down in LA, I’d met someone that understood what it was like, someone who wasn’t completely sure of what they wanted to do with their life, someone that shared my burden of indecisiveness.

Logan’s voice rang in my ear, stirring me from my thoughts.

“I think you just have to take another right up here, and we’ll be right there at the building.”

“Okay,” I mumbled, still a little lost for words, an unusual occurrence in my case. Flipping down the signal lever, I turned onto the street. Luckily, there just happened to be an empty space right in front of the museum, a rare finding in the city.

“Guess people just don’t have Jupiter fever,” I replied as I maneuvered the car into the parking space.

Logan chuckled at my lame attempt at a Justin Bieber joke, and it was nice to see a smile back on his face.

I watched as he got out of the car, carefully closing the door behind him, and I could feel a sly smile form on my lips. I quickly exited the car, grabbing my purse before locking all the doors and walking over to the other side of the car to join Logan on the sidewalk.

As he pulled at the back door in vain, I was grinning like an idiot. The look of despair stamped across his face was priceless.

“Can you unlock the door? My books are still in there.”

“Uh uh.” I shook my head. “There’ll be no homework today!”

“But I need my stuff, Kandi. Seriously, can you just unlock the door? It’ll only take two seconds, less time than arguing with me is going to take.”

“Nope, you need to loosen up anyway. I thought this trip was supposed to be fun; you can’t have fun with your head buried in a notebook. Now let’s go soak in some Jupiter!” I feigned enthusiasm as I grasped his hand, yanking him after me towards the entrance.

In all honesty, the exhibit was actually pretty neat. There were all of these blow-up photographs of Jupiter. They were absolutely breath taking, but I was more amazed by the colors and size than by what the photos were actually depicting. As a child, Jupiter had always been my favorite planet, though I couldn’t remember the exact logic behind my preference. Maybe it was because it’s the largest planet, and I’ve always had a bigger personality. Or maybe it was because it was always portrayed in shades of orange and yellow gases, two of my favorite colors.

The truth was I probably favored Jupiter because of its characteristic red spot. I was always more attracted to things that stuck out like that.

Though he was a little thrown off without his collection of maps and brochures, Logan still managed to enjoy the exhibit, and it was relaxing listening to him explain all of the different displays to me. I could tell he was truly intrigued by everything around him, and it was refreshing to see that sort of enthusiasm in a teenage boy.

At the end of the afternoon, we strolled around the gift shop, and Logan’s eyes lit up like a little kid on Christmas morning. It was absolutely adorable.

He bought me a Jupiter trucker hat in memory of the occasion, and I repaid him by buying our dinner: two submarine sandwiches and two cherry icees.

When we returned to the Palm Woods, I couldn’t deny that I was feeling pretty good. Not exactly that “butterflies in your stomach” sort of deal, but I was glad to finally have someone that I considered a friend out here in this chaotic haze of an apartment complex.

“This was really fun. We should hang out again sometime,” I said as we started to part ways by the elevator.

“Definitely….”his voice trailed off as he fumbled around with the hem of his tee shirt. “Actually, the guys are throwing a little get-together tomorrow night. It’d be really cool if you could come.”

“Sounds like a good time, count me in.”

“So I guess I’ll see you around,” Logan mumbled, his hands now plunged into the pockets of his khaki shorts.

“Yeah, I’ll catch you later.” I offered him an awkward wave before heading back into the lobby.

As I stood in the small entrance to the stairwell, I couldn’t help but notice a brunette glaring at me from her seat on the couch.