Telegraph Avenue Kiss

Mikey, the little angel he is, was snoring loudly as I stepped into the room. I crawled into bed as gracefully as I could manage, which, knowing me, wasn't a lot to say. I wasn't clumsy, per se, but Mikey is a very light sleeper and anyone would have woken him up. Especially if they had other things on their mind, like the fact that the boy of their dreams just confessed an adolescent life of ridicule and beatings because he was gay. Hmm, maybe that's why he has to draw such grotesque deaths. Maybe it's a form of revenge to him, like a voodoo doll. Draw someone in a bad situation, drawing comes true. It was genius. Now, back to Mikey. I know, we want to focus on Gee, but right now, Mikey is looking at me with obvious dislike.

"Frank, you butthole." he muttered, turning around to face me. His heavy-lidded eyes slowly went back to the position of being closed.

"Hey, Mikey, why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"Tell you what?" he asked sleepily.

"About...Gerard..."

That got his attention. His eyes snapped open and he frowned at me.

What about Gerard?" he asked. Did he not know? Surely he had to know that his only brother was gay. Brothers shared these things, didn't they?

"That he was gay. Why-"

"If your brother was gay, would you tell anyone?" he snapped.

Oh my god. I didn't expect that Mikey would ever be ashamed of his brother. How could he be? He's always telling me stories ending with how much he admired his brother...What would he think of me if he knew how I felt? Wait, I know how he'd feel. And I didn't ever want Mikey to be ashamed of me. He's Mikey. I can't break thebest only friendship that I've ever had over a guy. Over his brother.

"Frank, I think you should stop hanging out with him." he added. My eyes widened. He took it this far, did he?

"What? Mikey, that's so retarded! He's your brother, and my friend. I'm not going to stop hanging around him just because he happens to fancy boys over girls!"

"Yeah, because you fucking like him! Fag!" Mikey yelled. My mouth dropped open and I gazed at this wonder that was supposed to be Mikey. That word, that awful F-word, still hung in the air between us. He didn't show any remorse in using it.

"What the fuck did you say?" I asked, getting ready to attack if he said it again.

"It's so obvious, Frank! I can't believe you, of all people, would like Gerard. My big brother. Oh, and don't think that you two are being subtle about it. Might as well hand a big sign round your neck that reads 'Beat me up, I'm a pansy'."

"Ugh, Mikey, you are so fucked up." I spat. I searched around the room for my clothes, and, upon finding them, stomped downstairs with a furious Mikey trailing after me.

"Frank, where are you going?" he yelled. Like he cared at this point.

"To go jump out in front of a car, fucktard. Hopefully it'll be going fast enough so they're gonna be scraping me up for days!" I yelled back. Mikey yelled something to the affect of 'don't be stupid', but I drowned him out.

Out the door I went, and from there it was just a matter of putting one foot in front of the other. You know, you grow up with these fabulous stories of crack dealers and kidnappers, and how if you venture out into Jersey alone at night, nothing but harm will befall you. Well, I waswishing praying from the bottom of my non believer heart that just that would happen. That I would be killed and they'd find my body hacked up and strewn across the state in various dumpsters to match how I felt inside. Cut apart. First from the constant 'I want you, now I don't' games from Gerard, and now the shunning from Mikey.

I wanted something, anything, a man eating bunny that spits purple acid named Wycleft, even, to take me away from the soap opera scene that had just played out between Mikey and me.

It wasn't fair. How did he know how I felt? I didn't even know until Gerard told me he was gay. Oh, how I wish he was here, trying to use his sweet talk to lure me back to the house and away from danger. Then we could just cuddle in his bed. Or more, whatever. But that's not going to happen because 1) he's still asleep, and 2) I'm just a kid to him. A cute kid, but a kid nonetheless.

Cute was a universal word. You can use it in many ways without it coming off too strong. Like when you say, 'Aw, what a cute baby'. It doesn't mean you're attracted to it- heavens no, that would be gross. And that is how Gerard sees me. Cute.

"Oh, look, I ended up at a playground." I said with out as much enthusiasm as I normally would. I shook my hed, disgusted with myself. Being immature was just me. It was how I've always been and I've never questioned it. But now I found myself wishing I could act older. What kind of punk am I? Pft. Those swings do look inviting, though. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if I swing just a bit...

And that is how Gerard and Mikey found me, swinging like a fucking 5-year old. Really enjoying myself, as well. I didn't bother stopping, as they were making no move to try and talk to me. In fact, they went over to the merry-go-round. Mikey hopped on while Gerard grabbed hold of one of the handrails and ran around it. Once it was going quite fast, he hopped on as well. Damn if they didn't make it look fun.

I slid my foot in the dirt to stop myself and jumped out of the swing. I ran over to the merry-go-round and waited for it to slow down. Whenever I decided it was safe, I jumped on and took my rightful place in the middle because we all knew we were here because of me.

"So...how did you know I would be here? Or did you exhaust yourselves looking for me and just happened to get lucky while walking past here, worried sick about me?" I asked. Yeah, well, I wanted to be dramatic, alright? I was here, in the middle of the fucking circle surrounded by Ways, and a beam of moonlight was shining directly on my chest, making me feel rather important.

"Frankie, you are a little kid trapped in a teenager's body. Of course we knew you would be here." Gerard said. I frowned and put my face in my hands. Dense little boy, if you weren't so much nicer than Mikey, I'd have to push you off my throne. Yes, the merry-go-round is Frankie's Throne now. Soon I felt Gerard's cold hand over mine.

"So, what were you and Mikey fighting about? You woke the whole house." he said. I chewed on my lip ring and looked over to Mikey. This was his fault, and he should have to explain. He knew it, too.

"I, um...called Frankie a fag." Mikey said quietly. The word got to Gerard as well, and he flinched. Then he got pissed. Third time I've seen Gerard get mad at his brother, if I'm counting right.

"Mikey! What the fuck is wrong with you? I thought Frankie was your friend!" he yelled, hitting Mikey on the arm hard enough to leave a decent sized bruise.

"He is! But why can't either of you be straight?! Just one of you."

"You...don't know what this is like, Mikey! You think I want to like boys? Fuck no. It's horrible. And you two are the only ones who know. Imagine how Gerard feels." I said, glancing over at him.

Mikey sighed and nodded. "I know. I don't like seeing him beat up. I don't want that to happen to you, either, Frank." Mikey said, a little bit calmer.

"No one is ever going to know." I said.

"You mean you're not going to tell the guy that you like him?" Gerard asked. Okay, so he really doesn't know it's him.

"What guy?" Mikey asked.

"I don't know. Frankie said he liked a boy, but wouldn't tell me who." he said. Mikey looked over at me with a raised eyebrow.

He wouldn't tell. Never. He doesn't want Gerard to know, so he's not going to say anything...

"Oh. It's you." he said to his brother calmly. My eyes widened.

"Mikey, I'm going to kick your ass!" I squealed, pushing him off the merry-go-round. I went to jump off, but felt something tug on the back of my shirt. I turned around to find a serious-looking Gerard, and it sunk in that he knew. Dammit.