Telegraph Avenue Kiss
chapter 20
Mikey was still asleep when I came stomping in the house and up to his room. My loudness and basic disregard to whether he got any sleep or not woke him up. He sat straight up in bed, but, realizing it was only me, scowled.
"Hey, Frankie. Where's your boyfriend?" he asked coldly. No, don't be like this, Mikey. I need you to hold me and tell me that it's going to be okay. I need someone to take care of me.
"I don't have a boyfriend, Mikey." I said, sniffling. I hadn't cried at all after my crushing rejection, and I didn't plan to. I'm a big boy. I sat at the end of Mikey's bed and took off my shoes, discarding them in the corner. I scooted myself to the top of the bed and collapsed, curling up in the blankets.
"Then why'd you and Gee stay gone till dawn?" I shrugged and turned on my side to face the wall.
"It was just him explaining why he didn't want me, Mikey. Now please, let me sleep." My voice sound miserable. Like someone'd been scraping the inside of my throat with guitar strings.
"Frank, what's wrong?" Mikey asked softly, rubbing my shoulders. I rolled over so Mikey could fully embrace me in a hug.
"I'm heartbroken." My voice cracked when I said it. I wasn't trying to sound like a girl, but this was as close to getting my heart broken as I'd ever been, and Gerard and I hadn't even dated. That was the worst, not even getting a chance, because I'm pretty sure I could have made it work. Even when Gerard and I would fight, we constantly flirted with each other throughout, and it ended up okay. Why couldn't that happen last night?
"Frankie...do you...love him?" Mikey sounded like he didn't want to even consider the question. I already knew his position on the matter very well. He wanted me and his brother separated at all times.
"Yeah, I love your brother. I'm an idiot." I mumbled into Mikey's shoulder. He shook his head and continued to rub my back. At least Mikey's not disgusted with me for being gay. That would kill me, because really he's all I have left in my life and I love him dearly in a completely platonic way even though he called me a fag.
"You're not an idiot, Frankie. Just...I dunno, try to get some sleep, okay?" I nodded and cuddled deeper into Mikey's hug.
I must have actually fallen asleep. I thought it would be impossible with all of the despair still clouding my thoughts, but maybe I was so emotionally exhausted that I just drifted off without realising it. Anyway, Mikey had left the bed and was sitting in front of his PS2 with a controller in his hands. I was about to groan, or something similar to alert him that I was awake, but his door opened and I quickly feigned sleep, hoping it wasn't who I thought it was. I wasn't ready to talk to Gerard right now. But of course it was. Mikey was right here, and his parents wouldn't just come in like that. They were probably frightened of what Mikey could be doing.
"Hi, Gerard. Be quiet cause Frankie's sleeping." Mikey said softly. I almost groaned. I didn't want him here. I felt Gerard sit down at the end of the bed.
"Is he mad at me?" he asked his brother. Mikey sighed, clearly annoyed with the subject.
"I don't know. We don't sit around like girls and talk about our feelings. Does he have a reason to be mad at you?"
"Mmmmm....yes." Gerard said. At least he knows he was being an ass. But I wasn't mad at him. Just hurt. I'd take him back in a heart beat if he'd be sweet to me and act like the dork he is.
"Gerard, why'd you have to come back and ruin everything? I don't know whether Frankie is mad at you or not, but I do know that he's hurt and it's your fault. Fix it." Mikey said bluntly. He was being very blunt about this whole thing.
Gerard leaned close to me and ran his thumb over my cheek. I got butterflies in my heart, but remained still. By this time, it wasn't just that I didn't want to talk to him, I was still exhausted. My body was just completely limp. "Frankie?" he whispered.
"I didn't mean now, idiot!" Mikey whispered furiously. Gerard groaned and I felt him lay beside me. He took my hand and ran his fingers over my knuckles. See, why couldn't it always be like this? Laying in bed with Gerard, him touching my hand, no talking...
"I'm sorry, Frankie." I heard him whisper. "If I could just erase this whole night, I would. I should have never came back to New Jersey." He was speaking more to himself than to me. Of course he was, because he thought I was asleep. He sat up.
"Mikey, what am I supposed to say to him when he wakes up?"
"Um, maybe how you feel, retard. And no, don't waste your breath telling me how much you like my best friend, because I don't want to hear it. You just sort that out, m'kay? Now shoo, and I'll tell you when Sleeping Beauty is awake." Mikey said sternly. I managed not to grin at Mikey's words. I knew he got to Gerard severely. I didn't want Gerard to feel bad, because I knew he was trying to look out for me, but that wasn't his job and I was annoyed that he still thought that I needed to be protected.
Gerard made a small annoyed noise, kissed my forehead, and left. I spent the next ten minutes pretending to sleep, but after the third "game over" noise from Mikey's PS2 sounded, I had to sit up and snicker.
"Mikes, geez, you suck at that game." I said. giggling. He whipped his head around and stuck his tongue out at me.
"Shuddup. Oh, I think that Gee wants to talk to you." he said, waving his hand dramatically like it was of little importance. To him, it was. To me...well, I loved the guy. But I still wasn't sure whether he was going to apologize and make up more excuses, or admit that he needed me too. If I had to sit through more excuses, I'm going to end up crying, and that will just make me look even more like a kid.
"I'm not ready to talk to him. I don't think I want to hear what he has to say. I'll just watch you get killed some more cause it's pretty entertaining." I said, laying out on the bed so my head was at the foot of it. I propped myself up on my elbows and faked being interested in Budokai.
"Ch, I bet you couldn't do any better, Iero." he said. I hit a nerve with his videogme ability. I slumped into the floor and wrestled the controller from his death grip.
"Alright, Way, you are about to be schooled." I announced. The Select Character screen popped up and I clicked on Vegeta, Mikey's least favorite character. He was a traditionalist and favored Goku, the hero. But, as we all know, I am drawn to the dark side.
"Hey, Frankie. Where's your boyfriend?" he asked coldly. No, don't be like this, Mikey. I need you to hold me and tell me that it's going to be okay. I need someone to take care of me.
"I don't have a boyfriend, Mikey." I said, sniffling. I hadn't cried at all after my crushing rejection, and I didn't plan to. I'm a big boy. I sat at the end of Mikey's bed and took off my shoes, discarding them in the corner. I scooted myself to the top of the bed and collapsed, curling up in the blankets.
"Then why'd you and Gee stay gone till dawn?" I shrugged and turned on my side to face the wall.
"It was just him explaining why he didn't want me, Mikey. Now please, let me sleep." My voice sound miserable. Like someone'd been scraping the inside of my throat with guitar strings.
"Frank, what's wrong?" Mikey asked softly, rubbing my shoulders. I rolled over so Mikey could fully embrace me in a hug.
"I'm heartbroken." My voice cracked when I said it. I wasn't trying to sound like a girl, but this was as close to getting my heart broken as I'd ever been, and Gerard and I hadn't even dated. That was the worst, not even getting a chance, because I'm pretty sure I could have made it work. Even when Gerard and I would fight, we constantly flirted with each other throughout, and it ended up okay. Why couldn't that happen last night?
"Frankie...do you...love him?" Mikey sounded like he didn't want to even consider the question. I already knew his position on the matter very well. He wanted me and his brother separated at all times.
"Yeah, I love your brother. I'm an idiot." I mumbled into Mikey's shoulder. He shook his head and continued to rub my back. At least Mikey's not disgusted with me for being gay. That would kill me, because really he's all I have left in my life and I love him dearly in a completely platonic way even though he called me a fag.
"You're not an idiot, Frankie. Just...I dunno, try to get some sleep, okay?" I nodded and cuddled deeper into Mikey's hug.
I must have actually fallen asleep. I thought it would be impossible with all of the despair still clouding my thoughts, but maybe I was so emotionally exhausted that I just drifted off without realising it. Anyway, Mikey had left the bed and was sitting in front of his PS2 with a controller in his hands. I was about to groan, or something similar to alert him that I was awake, but his door opened and I quickly feigned sleep, hoping it wasn't who I thought it was. I wasn't ready to talk to Gerard right now. But of course it was. Mikey was right here, and his parents wouldn't just come in like that. They were probably frightened of what Mikey could be doing.
"Hi, Gerard. Be quiet cause Frankie's sleeping." Mikey said softly. I almost groaned. I didn't want him here. I felt Gerard sit down at the end of the bed.
"Is he mad at me?" he asked his brother. Mikey sighed, clearly annoyed with the subject.
"I don't know. We don't sit around like girls and talk about our feelings. Does he have a reason to be mad at you?"
"Mmmmm....yes." Gerard said. At least he knows he was being an ass. But I wasn't mad at him. Just hurt. I'd take him back in a heart beat if he'd be sweet to me and act like the dork he is.
"Gerard, why'd you have to come back and ruin everything? I don't know whether Frankie is mad at you or not, but I do know that he's hurt and it's your fault. Fix it." Mikey said bluntly. He was being very blunt about this whole thing.
Gerard leaned close to me and ran his thumb over my cheek. I got butterflies in my heart, but remained still. By this time, it wasn't just that I didn't want to talk to him, I was still exhausted. My body was just completely limp. "Frankie?" he whispered.
"I didn't mean now, idiot!" Mikey whispered furiously. Gerard groaned and I felt him lay beside me. He took my hand and ran his fingers over my knuckles. See, why couldn't it always be like this? Laying in bed with Gerard, him touching my hand, no talking...
"I'm sorry, Frankie." I heard him whisper. "If I could just erase this whole night, I would. I should have never came back to New Jersey." He was speaking more to himself than to me. Of course he was, because he thought I was asleep. He sat up.
"Mikey, what am I supposed to say to him when he wakes up?"
"Um, maybe how you feel, retard. And no, don't waste your breath telling me how much you like my best friend, because I don't want to hear it. You just sort that out, m'kay? Now shoo, and I'll tell you when Sleeping Beauty is awake." Mikey said sternly. I managed not to grin at Mikey's words. I knew he got to Gerard severely. I didn't want Gerard to feel bad, because I knew he was trying to look out for me, but that wasn't his job and I was annoyed that he still thought that I needed to be protected.
Gerard made a small annoyed noise, kissed my forehead, and left. I spent the next ten minutes pretending to sleep, but after the third "game over" noise from Mikey's PS2 sounded, I had to sit up and snicker.
"Mikes, geez, you suck at that game." I said. giggling. He whipped his head around and stuck his tongue out at me.
"Shuddup. Oh, I think that Gee wants to talk to you." he said, waving his hand dramatically like it was of little importance. To him, it was. To me...well, I loved the guy. But I still wasn't sure whether he was going to apologize and make up more excuses, or admit that he needed me too. If I had to sit through more excuses, I'm going to end up crying, and that will just make me look even more like a kid.
"I'm not ready to talk to him. I don't think I want to hear what he has to say. I'll just watch you get killed some more cause it's pretty entertaining." I said, laying out on the bed so my head was at the foot of it. I propped myself up on my elbows and faked being interested in Budokai.
"Ch, I bet you couldn't do any better, Iero." he said. I hit a nerve with his videogme ability. I slumped into the floor and wrestled the controller from his death grip.
"Alright, Way, you are about to be schooled." I announced. The Select Character screen popped up and I clicked on Vegeta, Mikey's least favorite character. He was a traditionalist and favored Goku, the hero. But, as we all know, I am drawn to the dark side.