Girl I Know

"Its just...." I began looking at my hands. I felt CHar look at me behind her Prada sunglasses. I looked at her through my dark aviators. "I am jealous." I sighed to her. I looked at Chars reaction. "But why Maddie?" Char held my hand comforting me. "Because you have it all Char, a husband, Liz and another baby on the way. What do I have Char? I am alone in a house, Matt and the guys will be going away soon. I hate that I cant be with you guys all the time. I miss having you with me a photo shoots." I tried to hold back the tears. "Babe Matt is crazy about you? Your career is booming everyone wants a piece of you. You are not alone you have a brother and a family that love and adore you." Char moved closer to me and hugged me. "This little one is going to have the best aunty in the world, Liz loves her aunty Maddie so babe everything is going to be fine. I promise you." Char hugged me tight as we ate and chatted I noticed the time and had to go to meet Matt, he was cooking me dinner at my house. As I watched Char drive off I walked to my car smiling to myself.

I got in to my SVU and turned on Broken by Xerosun. Xerosun are a band that are from Dublin who are amazing I picked up their album from Gavins cd collection. I listened to to the opening rifts of the guitars. It was heavy and heart pounding when the drums kicked in. Soon the lead singers voice drew my attention. I soon noticed I was singing to the catchy lyrics. I began to sing along with the front man.

What’s happened to you?
What’s happening to me?
I’ve got this feeling now
It’s far too late to see

And this bleeding time is
Fighting, breathing, hating, crying
Deep inside
I’m feeling so broken

Cannot hear your breathing
Through this screaming force
There’s nothing left now
Nothing but remorse

And this bleeding time is
Fighting, breathing, hating, crying
Deep inside
I’m feeling so broken

And this bleeding time is
Fighting, breathing, hating, crying
Deep inside
I’m feeling so broken

I’m feeling so broken
Don’t turn away

Broken

And this bleeding time is
Fighting, breathing, hating, crying
Deep inside
I’m feeling so broken
Just given one last time
I’m fighting, breathing, hating, crying
But deep inside
I’m still feeling so broken

I soon pulled up at my own house and noticed Matt's car outside in my drive way. I killed the iginition and smiled. Its funny Char is right I am as crazy as Matt about as he is about me. "Hey beautiful " Matt greeted me as I entered the house. I kissed him passionately. Matt leaves for tour in two days so we are enjoying every single moment, I will be joining him and the guys for a few days yes but I will have to stay in Miami after one of their shows and wont see them for 6 months after. Matt placed our dinner on the table. "Woah Ham cabbage mashed patatoes and Roasters. Did you learn this off Char?" I questioned. "No Gavin helped me said it was your favourite and told me how to make it like you guys mom did." I smiled at his efforts. It was amazing just like my mom made it. "Madison I want to ask you something?" "Yeah" I replied looking into his Hazel eyes. "I wanted to ask you if we could stop being single and be with each other 100%?" This has been on my mind since CHar and Zackys wedding and what fun we had that night in the hotel room" Matt smiled as I went red at remembering the drunk slutty wedding sex we had. I laughed at the memory "That was a good night just keeping up the tradition of best man and maid of honour " I smiled. "Yes I would love to be your girlfriend Matt" I kissed him.

" We leave are also leaving early for tour early by the way we leave tomorrow morning so get your cute little ass upstairs and I will be back in an hour with my bags ok?" Matt said kissing the top of my head. After Matt left I ran upstairs to Gavin smiling at him. "You knew didnt you?" I quizzed him. "Yeah but I work for them now so I have to keep stuff hush hush from now on if the guys ask me to no getting angry at me ok?" I laughed and agreed walking into the bathroom. I picked the box out of my hand bag and took the test. I sat nervously on the side of the bat tub I held the test in my hand and looked at the result. "negative" i mumbled to myself. I ran into my room to ring Charlotte, I dialed her number fast. "Hello babe whats up?" Char asked sweetly. " Maybe I wont be alone after all." I smiled