I'm With You

“Who are you texting?” Frank asked.

“No one,” Gerard responded.

“You’re texting her, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the singer lied.

“Your pet, right? You know that’s unhealthy Gee. She’s younger than you and she’s kind of messed up you know.”

“Leave her alone, okay? You don’t know her.”

“Gee, she’s-"

“Shut it Frank,” Gerard practically growls. He tends to be protective of his ‘pet.’ Before the guitarist can say anything else Gerard is gone, going to see her again.

She’s standing outside and it’s dark. It looks like it might rain. There’s still ice on the ground and she’s shivering in that worn out hoodie she always wears. He takes her by the arm and leads her into his car. He doesn’t need to say anything at all, she just follows them. That’s the beauty in their relationship. Sometimes they don’t even need words to understand. And when they do need words he always has exactly the right ones.

They arrive at their normal meeting place, that stupid old broken down hotel. They sit on the bed with the broken springs and for a while no one says anything. It’s not an uncomfortable silence, it’s very comfortable. She inches closer to him slowly and he waits. He’s never supposed to question things. He’s the band-aid in the relationship.

She’s always so broke, always needing him to fix her. He doesn’t mind. “I’m scared,” she finally mumbles. Her voice is soft and vulnerable. She kind of sounds like a little kid.

“I know you are,” he nodded. “But it’s going to be okay. I promise.”

Her hazel green tint eyes looked up at him, round and hopeful. “What was it like for you? Do you remember?”

“I remember,” he leaned back against the pile of pillows and pulled her into his arms so they could sit together. She snuggled against him, her head on his chest. He kissed her short brown hair quickly. He knew her once when she had long dyed black hair that she was so proud of. Then everything fell apart and she just kept chopping it off. She couldn’t be bothered with it any longer. He still thinks she’s one of the most beautiful girls he’s ever seen, inside and out. She closes her eyes and relaxes against him. This is complete trust. She knows she is safe and warm and loved when she is with him and she soaks up every single second of it.

“Tell me about it,” she whispered.

He held her and nodded. “It was bad. It was the worst time of my life. They had to talk me out of killing myself. I was depressed and hopeless. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. After that, things got better slowly. People started calling me their hero. I didn’t feel like one. I struggled. It wasn’t easy. But I made it. You’ll make it too. You’re a fighter. You’re stronger than you know.”

“Sometimes I feel so alone…”

“You’re never alone. You always have me forever. Anytime you need me you call me and I’ll be here.”

“Promise?” she asked, turning onto her flat stomach to look him in the eye. He was the only person she could stand to look at directly.

He smiled. “I promise."

The corners of her mouth twisted up into a tiny little smile and he felt so lucky to be seeing that rare expression and to know he was the one who caused it. They stayed there for a few minutes, just her laying on top of him, stomach to stomach, gazing at each other with pure affection. When he said things would be okay she believed him. He understood her right down to the very depths of her soul. “Will you sing to me?” she finally asked. He was used to this request. She loved to be by his side in any way she could but she most enjoyed it when he drew or pictures or sang to her. To her he had the most amazing voice in the whole world. She’d never get tired of it and he’d never get tired of singing to her.

“Of course,” he nodded. “Would you like to dance?”

“I can’t dance,” she shook her head.

“I’ll help you,” he told her. He took her small pale hand in his and led her to an open space on the floor. She placed her thin arms around him and his around her. She felt really fragile in his embrace. She was shorter than him and really thin. She closed her eyes and put her head on his chest. He sang slowly, quietly, and they swayed to music that wasn’t there. She didn’t feel afraid anymore.