Never Just One

To whoever said chivalry was dead, you were wrong.

The first thirty minutes I was inside that gas station turned base, the Fabulous Killjoys were running around, trying desperately to clean up. Sunshine and I sat on one of the comfy couches Jet Star had mentioned… but there were only four.

“Usually, I sleep with Poison. He’s like a dad to me,” Sunshine explained as we watched the boys hurry around, shouting to each other in the yellow lamplight. “But sometimes Jet Star and I fall asleep when we play games. My favorite is Chutes and Ladders.”

“I loved that game as a kid,” I told her. “We’ll have to play together sometime.”

“Yeah! You and me and Jet Star!” She smiled, showing all her teeth, and I smiled along with her.

“Hey, Diamond! This room’s ready for you.” Kobra Kid’s face peeked around a corner, and I got up and walked through the dirty main room.

I walked through a doorway and into a cluttered little room that must have been the gas station’s office at some point. There was a green, plush couch with a knitted afghan folded over the back. A few throw pillows – in odd shades of yellow and gray – were leaned against the arm. Behind the couch was a bookshelf without anything on it. A big picture window faced out at the car and the dark desert behind it, and there was a framed portrait on the wall of three people – two young, dark-haired boys in the arms of an elderly woman.

“Who’s that?” I asked, pointing to the portrait. It seemed so out of place.

“Oh, uh…” he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. I noticed how thin he was, and how tall and lanky he looked. “That’s, um, that’s Party Poison, me, and our grandmother. This room used to be mine, but, uh, I’m giving it to you.”

“Listen, Kobra, you really don’t –”

“Yes, I do. This’ll be your room. And Sunshine can stay in here with you, if you don’t mind. She’s growing up fast,” he said quietly. “And soon, she’s gonna reach a point where it’s awkward to sleep on the same couch as any of us.”

“You guys really care about her, don’t you?” I reached for the afghan and pulled it off the back. Kobra Kid leaned forward and pulled the seat cushions off.

“Fold-out bed,” he clarified. Cracking his knuckles, he bent down and eased the bed out of the couch, springs and metal groaning in protest. “Yeah, we really do. Poison, especially. He’d give his life to save her.”

“Well, that’s incredibly sweet. But I’m not gonna kick you out of your room!” I threw the afghan at him, and the rainbow yarn enveloped him and he spluttered. “Where would you even sleep?”

“There’re some pillows tucked away someplace. I’d find them, then sleep on the floor.” His voice was muffled by the blanket, which was still draped over his head. “Take the goddamn room.”

“No,” I said, walking out the door. “Hey, somebody wanna beat some sense into Kobra Kid over here and tell him I’m not takin’ his room?”

“Man, he’s the most stubborn one out of all of us,” Fun Ghoul said from the couch, where he was focused on watching the crappy little TV. “You aren’t gonna convince him to not give his room up. Although, I’m totally for the beating him!” He tilted his head backwards and grinned devilishly at me over the back of the couch.

“Hey!” Kobra said, pulling the blanket off his head, which mussed up his hair. I bit back a laugh at the site of his ruffled hair – it had been so perfect all day, and now he just looked stupid.

“Your hair’s a little messed up, Kid,” Poison said as he walked by with a diet soda and a sandwich in his hands. He took a bite. “Yeah,” he said, his mouth full. “You aren’t changing his mind.” He gestured to Kobra with his sandwich, and a piece of lettuce went flying into his chest, causing me to laugh some more.

Once I regained my composure, I continued my argument. “Then where the hell is he supposed to sleep? I refuse to let him sleep on the floor! This is your hideout, your base, your fuckin’ home. I’m not gonna waltz in here and be like ‘oh, gimme a room, gimme food.’ You saved my life – I should be the one on the floor.” I sighed. “Just take your fuckin’ room back and show me where the pillows are.”

“No.” His tone was firm, and he now crossed his arms over his leather jacket.

“How about a compromise?” Party Poison suggested, flopping down onto the couch and stretching out, his long legs lying across Fun Ghoul’s lap.

“Like what?” Kobra and I said at the same time. We turned, glared at each other, and returned our gazes to Poison.

“Like… sleeping in the same bed,” Fun Ghoul suggested, a grin that proved he was scheming etched across his face.

“Oh no. Oh, no no no. See, Sunshine, she’s okay. She’s sweet; she’s a little girl. Kobra Kid is a full-grown man and that’s just not gonna happen in a million years,” I ranted, gesturing violently. “Seriously, Ghoul, what the hell was going through your head?”

“It’s not a bad idea, though, if you think about it? It makes us happy because you get a bed, and it makes you happy because one of us isn’t sleepin’ on the floor.” Jet Star stood up from the armchair and looked at me. “It’s the only way we’re all gonna be satisfied. Now it’s just a matter of who do you feel most comfortable sharing a bed with…”

I opened my mouth, but he added “that’s not Sunshine,” before I could say anything.

“Damn,” I said quietly. “Well, it’s nothing personal, Kobra, really, but I feel like it’d just be awkward.”

He nodded in silent agreement.

“And Fun Ghoul, I feel like you’d sprawl out and kick me out of the bed. While I don’t mind sleeping on the floor,” I said pointedly, “I don’t wanna end up there unexpectedly.”

Ghoul giggled. “Understandable.”

“Jet, I think I’d sneeze because somehow, your lovely fro would end up in my face. So unless you want Cellophane snot in it, I guess I’m with Poison.”

“Sounds okay to me,” Poison said. “I sleep on this couch, usually, but it’s not a pull-out bed. Kobra, you wanna switch until we manage to snag another sofa from Dr. D?”

“Sure thing, lemme just get my pillows.”

“Sweet. Cell, you don’t have another pair of clothes. Um, this could be a problem…”

I shook my head. “I’ve been sleeping in jeans for a while now – you get used to it.”

“No, no, no, that’s not what I’m thinking about. Tomorrow, when you wake up, you’re gonna wanna change, right?”

I nodded, then thought about where all my other clothes were – at my camp. In Zone 4. “Shit.”

“Don’t worry – you can just take something of Kobra’s – he’s around the same size as you,” Poison said with a smile as Fun Ghoul and Jet Star started snickering.

“Fuck you!” Kobra shouted in a sing-song voice.

Poison stood up and threw his trash on the counter, dusting his hands off on his jeans. He placed his hand on his ray gun – I presume it was to make sure it was there – and then led me into the Kobra Kid’s room again.

“Oh, and just so you know, you’re gonna see everyone half-naked at least once tomorrow,” he threw in casually, an innocent smile on his face.

“Great.”