Behind the Façade

----------- Carson ------------

Two weeks passed by quickly, without much interaction with either Logan or Hunter. The band was completely stoked for the gig in the city, but this caused them to question every single one of their songs and how they sounded. The must have e-mailed both Savannah and I three hundred demos to new songs, old songs that they tweaked, and by now, I was just about as excited for this to be over as they were for it to begin.

Brianna had just finished packing (with my assistance) the night before we were scheduled to leave, and she wouldn't stop talking about how "so incredibly psyched she was to get to spend quality time with a band that was sure to make it to the big stage."

Her words, not mine.

There had still been no sign of our dad, and the two of us basked in the glorified silence of the house. There were no beer bottles stashed in the trash, no spilled alcohol, and most importantly, no more spilled blood.

By three o'clock that afternoon, I had finished packing the car and glanced around the house one last time with Brianna's hand clasped tightly in mine.

"You ready to go, Bri?"

"Oh please, Carson, you can obviously see that I am," she smiled at me, beautiful white teeth gleaming as she laughed at her own blind joke. For a few more days we free from staying in this house, just a building that had never really remained a "home" to us after the abuse started. We wouldn't have to watch our father stumble in like he was bound to at some point in the coming weeks.

We wouldn't have to suffer here any longer.

I sighed contently and opened the front door to leave, only to be met with my father's broad chest and the repugnant stench of beer.

"We were just leaving," I whisper, hoping to tug Brianna away as fast as I possibly could and get to the car before our father had a chance to process a simple thought.

"I beg to differ," he replies, making a point to grab my thigh, where the bullet had cut me so much deeper than his other blows ever had. I whimper in pain and push his hand away, forcing Brianna through the small space between the door jam and my father's shoulder. "Go," I whisper to her, "I'll follow right behind you."

"No you won't!" She hisses, "I know you won't!"

"Go."

Sighing she stumbles down the sidewalk, hands outstretched for the car. Once her fingers grasp the door handle, she swings it open and slides in, head turned away from my father and I.

"Carson," he slurred, pushing me back inside, "You're not going anywhere."

I slip quickly behind him and run out the front door just before it shuts. Even outside, with my own heart pounding in my ears, I can hear my father's footsteps coming after me. I slide across the hood of my car and open the door, slamming it shut and locking it just as my father pounds his hands on the window.

"Goddammit, Carson. Get out of this car!"

"Get out of my life!" I scream back, before tearing out of the parking lot and down the road, away from him.

Free.

<<>>

After we check into the hotel, it's already around five, the city buzzing with people getting home and the hectic New York City Friday night just beginning.

We each take room keys, having decided Mark and Savannah would have their own room (to do things I would rather not imagine them doing), which left Logan, Hunter, Brianna, and Brian in a room with me.

Once we got to the room, I dropped my bag on one of the queen sized beds and the other on the pull out couch for Brianna. "You sure you don't mind taking the couch, Bri? I'd gladly take it."

"It's fine," before she nudges me with a half-hearted grin, "You and Lo share a bed...and do whatever it is couples your age do."

I hit her arm playfully while the guys bring in a couple guitar cases and their suitcases. "Brianna! It's not like we'd do anything for three other people in the room anyway!"

She giggled and sat comfortably on the sofa, turning into the inside. "I'm tired and I'm gonna catch some sleep. I mean after today..."

"I know what you mean," I reply softly, brushing her hair for a second before standing up and facing the other guys. "So I figured me and, uh...Lo would share a bed, and then Hunter and Brian would share the other one?"

Logan comes over and pecks my cheek, "I don't have a problem with that..."

I roll my eyes and smile coquettishly at him even though the way his arms wrapped around me had nothing compared to what it felt like to have Hunter brushed his lips across the palm of my hand so many weeks ago.

I glanced over at him, and he smiled softly at me before announcing he had to pee like a race horse and slammed the bathroom door shut.

"Eloquently put," I mutter before collapsing on the bed. He comes out a few minutes later and tosses a pillow on my back, "Get up, Cars. You can sleep after dinner."

"Ugh. Does that require me getting up?" I mumble into the pillow, letting the soft cotton caress my cheek.

He grabbed my hands and pulled me up, grinning. "Yes, yes it does."

"Damn," I mutter before swinging my legs off the bed and noticing everyone besides Brianna had already gone to the restaurant downstairs.

I didn't let go of Hunter's hand until we reached the elevator at the end of the hallway because I didn't want to.

<<>>

By ten, everyone was pretty exhausted, collapsing into bed one after another. I changed into a pair of sweatpants - the only pair long enough to cover the gruesome wound on my leg - and climbed into bed next to Logan.

An arm wrapped instinctively wrapped around my waist and he smiled at me before whispering a good night and falling into an easy slumber.

What I didn't know about Logan, though, was that he kicked in his sleep - his knee brushing against the gunshot wound. I bit the pillow to keep from crying out, and quickly unraveled myself from Logan's arm before turning on my side - as far away from his thrashing feet as possible.

Sometime around one that morning I finally dozed off, only to be awoken to hushed whispers and talk of food. My stomach grumbled in empty protest and I forced my eyes to open, looking about the room to see Hunter shirtless and running a hand through his hair while talking with Logan.

"I don't get it, you know? She was alright when I kissed her cheek goodnight, and when I wake up she's on the farthest side of the bed, you know? I don't get it..."

"I don't know man, what do you want me to say?" Hunter replies, trying to keep a satisfied smile off that adorable sleepy face of his.

"You do realize that A) I can hear this entire conversation, and B) You kick in your sleep, right?" I add in, tearing my gaze away from Hunter's uncovered body.

"I do?" Logan responds, "I'm sorry, babe! Did I hurt you?"

I smile softly and sit up, noticing Brianna and Brian weren't anywhere to be found. Probably at breakfast, I reasoned. "You really do, and no, don't worry about it. I don't have any bruises or anything."

The way Hunter looked at me for an extra second at the mention of bruises made me shudder until he pointed to my face, "But what about that thing on your jaw? Looks pretty new."

I reach up, delicately pressing my fingers to my jaw and remembering my father's hand come across my face. "Oh, you must've hit me last night, after I was already long asleep. Obviously didn't hurt if I didn't wake up."

I smile half-heartedly and Hunter doesn't look the least bit pleased.

"I'm sorry, babe. But I'm going to go down and get some breakfast, meet me down there after you get all cleaned up?" Logan kisses the top of my head and I do everything not to pull away.

"Free food? I'll be there." I smile and watch as he exits the room, the door clicking shut. Hunter sits down in front of me, so closely I can't decide whether I like it or not - having him at arm's length, like I could reach out and kiss him right then and there.

But I don't.

"When will you learn to stop lying?" Hunter questions, eyes piercing right through me.

I swallow and look down at my fingers as I twist them back and forth, "Who said I was?"

"Carson..."

I look up and fight the urge to press my palm to his cheek, feel the warmth of his skin under my hand. "I'm not lying, Hunter. Now I'm going to go get ready for breakfast, alright?"

"Whatever..." he mutters, before throwing a shirt on and slamming the hotel room door shut behind him.

<<>>

"So you need something skimpy for Logan tonight, something sexy but still appropo for everyone else in the room," Savannah says as she shoves hangers to the side before pulling out a piece of clothing that can only be described of as a lacy thing.

"Oh God," I mumble, trying to imagine myself wearing that. Although instead of Logan's face, I see Hunter's. And he's smiling softly at me before coming closer and... "No," I whisper, "I can't wear that. I do have a sister in the room, Sav."

"I don't know if you've noticed, Carson, but she can't necessarily see." Savannah smiles sympathetically toward me, as if telling me she's sorry for bringing up my sister's handicap in that sort of manner.

I shrug it off, used to it by now, and continue to say, "C'mon. I - I can't."

Savannah rolls her eyes and sifts through another rack of less-risqué night gowns. We were wasting the day shopping, something we didn't get to do often. The boys were with Tom, working on the songs for the Art Gala, so that left a girl's day out. Brianna sat on the comfy sofa in the corner of the big store, talking pleasantly with an older lady who had taken respite on the couch, too.

Savannah pulls out a medium length black satin thing with some lace around the edges and a sort of low v-neck. "This one isn't too...out there. Please, would you just...try? He'll eat you up with his eyes."

And so will Hunter, I think to myself before reluctantly agreeing. I mean, just because she bought it didn't mean I actually had to wear it. She was in a different room...Savannah would never know.

<<>>

I searched through my bag vainly, trying to locate my other set of pajamas. "No, no, no, no..." I whispered to myself, running a tired hand down my face. I picked up the black nightgown from my overnight bag and a note fell to the floor.

I know you better than you give me credit, Cars. I stole your other pajamas. Have fun tonight with Lo ;)
- Sav

"That bitch!" I hiss quietly just as someone knocks lightly on the door.

"You alright in there, Carson?" Logan says through the door and I groan before answering, "Uh, yeah. I'll be right out."

"Cool, I'll be in bed."

I stand up hesitantly and open the door, making sure to hide the lingerie grasped tightly in my hand. "Actually...could Brianna sleep with me tonight? I mean, I don't want to put you out on the couch or anything but, I don't think I can handle another night with you kicking at me." I laugh and try to sound as polite and kind as possible and something in Logan's expression breaks.

"Uh, su--."

"No, he can sleep with Brian and I'll trade with you, Lo. Brian likes to thrash around too, so that would work out. That way Brianna can keep that couch she's so fond of." I glance around the corner of the bathroom and see Hunter sitting there, innocent expression on that perfect face.

"You, uh, alright with that, Lo?" I ask quietly, not sure exactly what I want to do this situation.

"What?" He broke his death glare to Hunter and looked at me, "S - sure. I'm fine with that."

"Thank you," I whisper, opening the door slightly and pressing my lips lightly against his. Least thing I could be to actually kiss him, and not avoid his lips like they had the Black Plague.

He was my...boyfriend after all.

After I pulled away, Logan gleamed at me and sauntered off toward his bed and I shut the bathroom door with a click. I slipped out of my jeans and t-shirt and into the night gown, crossing my fingers that the guys had already turned the lights off.

They hadn't.

I timidly walked across the carpet, crossing my fingers that I could slip under the covers before any of them noticed, but once I dumped my dirty clothes near my bag, all conversation stopped. I winced and turned around slowly, watching Logan and Hunter trail their eyes from my head to my toes.

I smiled shyly and jumped under the covers (as well as my injured leg would allow) and listened as either of the guys tried to say something coherent.

"Oh, my God." Hunter whispered and I could tell from the way he stared at my lips that he wanted to close the gap between us. "You're stunning."

"Gorgeous," Logan chokes out across the room, but I don't turn to look at him. I'm too busy wondering if Hunter will actually kiss me.

I stutter a thank you, my mind preoccupied, and turn out the light - huddling under the blankets. I lay like that for a while, ignoring the pain in my leg and when I hear slight snores, I sigh and roll onto my back, staring at the ceiling.

I begin to doze off, listening to Hunter's even breathing beside me, just as he whispers, "Cars. Cars. Carson! Are you awake?"

"Huh?" I roll toward him, only seeing a mass of darkness that represented his head. "Well...I am now, aren't I?"

He chuckled, his warm breath washing over my face, "Let's go down to the lobby."

"Hunter...I'm tired..." I complain, feigning a yawn even though the real reason is that I don't want him seeing me in this night gown any more than physically possible.

But then there's this illogical part of my mind that says that I want him to.

"Pleeeeaseee?" Hunter begged, rolling closer to me, just so that our chests were brushing.

"Fine..." I groan, putting on my slippers and grabbing the room key. Once out in the silent hallway, Hunter takes my hand quickly and brushes the back of it against his lips - causing goose bumps to rise across my pale skin.

"You do look beautiful, Carson," Hunter says quietly as we make our way toward the elevator, "You always do."

"Hunt...we've have this conversation already," I groan as I jab my thumb against the down arrow.

"I like making a point," he whispers, entwining our fingers together just as I pull them away. He was making this too difficult. Not just keeping my father's secret exactly what it should be, a secret, but he was making it impossible for Logan to measure up to him.

It was getting harder to hold up my facade, or it was getting easier for him to see through it.

Maybe both.

<<>>

I giggled at some lame joke as we made our way back toward the hotel room and Hunter smiled, taking my hand in his for the umpteenth time that night. "I love your laugh," he says quietly, grinning at me like crazy.

A deep scarlet blush runs across my cheeks and I turn away, not wanting him to see.

"I love your blush, too," he whispers, his nose nudging my cheek.

"Not me, though?" I counter, leaning my back against our room's door. "You love my laugh and my blush, but not me?"

Hunter thinks this through, biting his lip before he rests a hand on my thigh and slides the satin up. "Why are you limping, Cars?"

Before I can snatch his hand away, he sees. He sees the bruises, the bullet wound scarring my skin for the rest of my life.

Letting the material fall back into place, he takes hold of my hips, fingers digging lightly into the skin there, and holds me against the door, his forehead resting against mine. "Why did you lie to me?"

I can't think straight. I just can't. The way he's holding me so rough but so gentle, the way his minty breath wafts over my face...

Do I keep lying? Do I tell him the truth? Do I want him to know the truth? Do I even trust him?

Not knowing the answer to any of these questions, I lamely settle for, "I - It's complicated."

He holds me tighter, pressing me against him. "Carson...I don't care if it's complicated. You lied to me! Why? What is so goddamn secretive that --."

"Be quiet, Hunter!" I feel a tear escape my eye and I wipe it away quickly, "I can't tell you here. Not now. When w - we get back to town, I'll tell you. But not here. Not now."

Another round of tears escape me and Hunter sighs, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me into my mind.

"I don't want to see you hurt," Hunter whispers, his lips brushing against my hair.

I pull away and laugh quietly, "Don't worry about me too much. I can take care of myself."

Hunter shakes hie head but smiles softly at me and presses his lips against my cheek, causing me to close my eyes and wish he was kissing my lips instead.

<<>>

I roll into the incredibly warm heat mass next to me, feeling something constrict around my waist and pull me closer still. I let my eyelids flutter open and let them focus on the blurry mass in front of me.

Hunter's facing me, his mouth slightly open in his deep slumber, and I feel myself smile, wondering what it would feel like to wake up next to this everyday, for the rest of my life. I close my eyes again, feeling his arm keep hold on me as he turns on his side, his chest pressed to my back. I turn around and huddle into his chest, just as his eyes flutter open, a smiling automatically appearing at the sight of me. "Hey."

"Hiya," I whisper back, "I'd say you slept well."

He glances down at his arm wrapped around me and smiles even bigger, "It's because of who I slept with."

There's an awkward cough and we look up, seeing Logan's face turn every shade of red. "And what has you two...cuddling?"

I sigh and unravel myself from Hunter, the heat from his body dissipating the second I push back the covers. "Nothing, we just woke up like that." Which is true.

"Huh," Logan mumbles before exiting the room again with a slammed door.

Hunter and I share a look, and he makes an over-exaggerated worried expression at me. I smile and shake my head, grabbing some clothes to change into. Just before I close the bathroom door to change, Hunter stops it with his foot and wraps his arms around my waist, "I forgot to say good morning."

I laugh and hug him back, "Good morning, Hunt."

And it was exactly that. A good, good morning.