Nerds Get the Guys
talk to me
My world was over everything was spiraling downwards, nothing would ever be right again;why couldn't he have just left me alone. The waters tinted and i pull my wrists from it slowly my eyes heavy with sleep, the cuts were deeper than i thought i made them and by how much they've bled i estimate i have a little over two hours to live;give or take. I wonder if there's a heaven and hell? What's waiting for me after this place? i "FUCK RYAN!!" Spencer screams but i don't bother to look up, i just keep my eyes on my wrists.
As he rushes around calling paramedics and getting me onto a towel stretched out on the floor, he's kneeling beside me clutching at my hand which can't seem to hold his back."Come on ryan you can live this time you've done it before you can do it now!" Paramedics file in and i'm loaded onto a gurney some sort of blood bag being attached to my arm, it's funny how little things get noticed more as you go on.
When we finally get to the hospital i don't feel as dizzy but they say i can't leave until someone checks me out of this place, well i guess i'm in for a long stay aren't i? I pick at the hem of the sheet loose threads every where. "Ryan..." I look up gabe's leaning in the door way, "what do you want..." He sighs walking over he takes a seat on the bed."You can't run from it ryan it'll always come back for you, now you wanna tell me what set you off?"
I look to my lap i refuse to make eye contact with him,"jon stopped by he said brendon wanted to talk.... Why now what could've possibly brought him to the point where he says ' hey let's go fuck ryan's life up more' . I just don't even wanna deal with it anymore gabe, i really really don't."He squeezes my knee "well i can't tell you what to do you have your own mind, but in my opinion talking to him may be a good idea; get your questions answered at least..."
i bite my lip "but if i see him i'm petrified that i'd take him back, i've taken him back so many times but i'm afraid he'll finally destroy me if we talk...." "Well all you can do is try there won't be any fowl going to just talk, if your just asking questions i don't think it'll do any harm...."
_______________________one week later____________________
"i'll be right outside okay?" I nod my stomach feeling tight and my palms feeling clammy, i push my glasses up and take a deep breath.He leaves and i watch a very thin body slip into his place, i almost don't recognize him. He sits and i can see several divits in his chest his t-shirt hangs loosely on him, "h-hi..." I lift my hand "ryan i'm so so sorry... I didn't want to leave you, i just had something else i had to deal with...I don't expect you to forgive me or anything all i want is for you to know i still care about you so much..."
"If you care about me so much how come you and i couldn't deal with with this problem together...." He runs his hands up his thighs "because i didn't want you to worry" "But bren i loved you ,i'm supposed to worry and be there for you no matter what." "I was dying okay..." The room falls silent this whole thing has just found a new layer....
As he rushes around calling paramedics and getting me onto a towel stretched out on the floor, he's kneeling beside me clutching at my hand which can't seem to hold his back."Come on ryan you can live this time you've done it before you can do it now!" Paramedics file in and i'm loaded onto a gurney some sort of blood bag being attached to my arm, it's funny how little things get noticed more as you go on.
When we finally get to the hospital i don't feel as dizzy but they say i can't leave until someone checks me out of this place, well i guess i'm in for a long stay aren't i? I pick at the hem of the sheet loose threads every where. "Ryan..." I look up gabe's leaning in the door way, "what do you want..." He sighs walking over he takes a seat on the bed."You can't run from it ryan it'll always come back for you, now you wanna tell me what set you off?"
I look to my lap i refuse to make eye contact with him,"jon stopped by he said brendon wanted to talk.... Why now what could've possibly brought him to the point where he says ' hey let's go fuck ryan's life up more' . I just don't even wanna deal with it anymore gabe, i really really don't."He squeezes my knee "well i can't tell you what to do you have your own mind, but in my opinion talking to him may be a good idea; get your questions answered at least..."
i bite my lip "but if i see him i'm petrified that i'd take him back, i've taken him back so many times but i'm afraid he'll finally destroy me if we talk...." "Well all you can do is try there won't be any fowl going to just talk, if your just asking questions i don't think it'll do any harm...."
_______________________one week later____________________
"i'll be right outside okay?" I nod my stomach feeling tight and my palms feeling clammy, i push my glasses up and take a deep breath.He leaves and i watch a very thin body slip into his place, i almost don't recognize him. He sits and i can see several divits in his chest his t-shirt hangs loosely on him, "h-hi..." I lift my hand "ryan i'm so so sorry... I didn't want to leave you, i just had something else i had to deal with...I don't expect you to forgive me or anything all i want is for you to know i still care about you so much..."
"If you care about me so much how come you and i couldn't deal with with this problem together...." He runs his hands up his thighs "because i didn't want you to worry" "But bren i loved you ,i'm supposed to worry and be there for you no matter what." "I was dying okay..." The room falls silent this whole thing has just found a new layer....