Nerds Get the Guys

'Say what you mean Tell me I'm right And let the sun reign down on me Give me a sign
I want to believe Woah, Mona Lisa, You're guaranteed to run this town Woah, Mona Lisa,
I'd pay to see you frown...' I'm trying to figure out what just happened, i mean did he really just kiss me? Oh god he felt my fucking scars.... even worse i was acting like a... like a SLUT!!! I clutch the pillow over my face,oh god what have i done. Well not that i didn't like it i did i just don't know what he's thinking, i get up and decide to clean i also can't tell anyone about us if were now an us... Are we?

I fix everything so it's all neat and tidy, i pace the room and decide i need to do something arty and i know it's hypocritical of me but i would love a glass of gin.So i grab my wallet and pull out three fifties, i walk to the store smile on my face which truthfully feels so fucking weird.I purchase paints an easel and canvas, along with a bottle of gin.

Then i proceed to set it up and strip to nothing,that's right i paint naked;i draw the blinds though. It doesn't take me long to think of what to paint, i dip my fingers in the little goo pile and touch it to the canvas.I get so into it the painting and the sip from the bottle, that i barley catch the tapping at my door. " Uno momento por favor," i take another swig and grab a towel from the bathroom.

I open up and spencer's staring back, "umm did i interrupt?" I laugh "Nah i'm just painting, you wanna come in?"I step aside and he slips in, when i turn he gasps and the alcohol is no longer fogging me slightly. "Sorry," i grab my shirt and slip it on along with my other batman panties."Ryan i... I didn't know it would be that bad honest," i sigh pulling my pants on before i tidy up my paints and things hiding the canvas beneath a t-shirt;and the bottle of gin in a drawer."So i was thinking you might wanna come to a party tonight, everyone's gonna be there.." I contemplate my options, either stay here probably cut argue with myself then fall into insanity or, go to a party and probably see Brendon...

"Sure, but if i get hurt i will never trust you." He raises his hands "understandable, but i don't think you will." I sigh he doesn't know me as well as he thinks he does, we end up talking about music when the time comes to go to the party.We arrive and my heart is thumping i don't understand why i'm terrified i mean not every party will end like in that night.... "Hey," i turn brendon's smiling at me.

"H-hi," he laughs and i can smell the alcohol on his breath; just like i had with my dad. Only this guy is happy not a fucking trace of anger, He ruffles my hair and i watch him walk away."Ryan..." I turn spencer's giving me this weird half ass smile "what?" "You like him." Well give the man a fucking prize, "hey i won't tell.If you need help just find me." I wave him off and when he's gone someone else has me around the waist, people are pushing me and pushing me back i'm so fucking dizzy; i'm disoriented and their laughing.

Then someone pulls me into the hall and shuts the door, i never thought i'd say i was thankful to see jon. "Th-thanks,"i gasp catching my breath and regaining my balance."Don't worry bout it, you can go home and relax i'll tell spencer you were feeling ill."I give a nod and walk slowly back to my dorm, i get inside and relax into the silence. It's so nice i sink into the bed shutting my eyes to sleep, but unfortunately someone doesn't want me to sleep.

I groan getting to my feet,"fuck..." Opening the door brendon's leaning there, smiling drunk out of his mind."He-hey youcanistayheretonightidonwannagohome..." He slurs falling into me, okay well i didn't know having a god would be effort;but then again did i really give a rat's ass?I help him to the bed then lock my door, he rolls to the wall and i fix the blanket over him. I crawl in beside him but far enough that there's a space, but he doesn't like that he pulls me into him and i can feel my heart in my throat.

He kisses my cheek then relaxes, he's sleeping within minutes wow i then settle in all cozy and warm to sleep; this feels right which is so new it scares me.I dream about his smile so perfect just like that painting, just so wonderful and blinding.