Nerds Get the Guys

I didn't know what was wrong but I kept assuring Ryan it was all going to be ok. He was going to be alright. I petted his hair in an embrace keeping his head against my chest. I couldn't stand to see his arms pouring out blood but all at the same time it was kinda hot. Sad but hot. I pushed his hair up locking my fingers in it and pulling his face to mine. We began moist kissing back and forth in his bed breathing heavily.

I felt for his back to pull up his shirt but he rejected my idea so we continued to make out. Every kiss means something to me, every kiss from Ryan that is. Each one tells me how much he cares or what mood he is. He was very sad today but there was one point that I couldn't pick out an emotion to match leaving me clueless of what to do next we finally stopped. I took my lips from his and let him know I had to go.

** 3 days later
I hope he was ok after that. I felt incredibly bad for it too. Have you ever just left the peson you're totally in love with by themselves when they are sad ? Or am I the only one who does that sort of thing? Don't answer that. I will have to go visit him sometime today. I miss him and I can't seem to stop thinking about him. Example:

I was in gym class pretending to play basketball ( which is what everyone really does). So it was   
in the heat of the game or so I was told, and I was at the net when I happened to be daydreaming of Ryan and I were kissing. No we were sweetly holding hands and giggling and no one was being their homophobic selves. It was darling but then I was awoken by a hard leather/rubber ball in my face. People started yelling and shouting at me for not paying attention. It's not like I could help myself. 

I walked in Ryan's room to see him curled up in his bed, almost  like he was scared. I came up to him warming his ice frozen body. He was wearing no blanket just had his fragile arms holding his knees that were tucked to his chest. I rushed up to his side and wrapped my arms around his body. The feelings of regret came back to me and I remembered how I left him there. " Ryan, I-Im so sorry." i apologized. " Its- It's- o-ok " he started sobbing. I always have to make things worse. I'm so self centered, but I have away of making it up to him first I have to know what's wrong with him to make it better. That's logic right? 

" Ryan, what's the matter." then a large growl rumbled from his belly. I could feel it's violent starve against me. " Have you aten yet?" I exclaimed worried sick. " Nothings wrong and I'm no hungry." he said very depressingly." that's not what your behavior says. I kept annoying him until he bursted into telling me everything. He gave me his life story as I just sat there feeling like an asshole listening. I cant even begin to tell anyone about this. It was so shocking to hear something so horrible from the one you love. 

I kissed Ryan cheek after the whole shabang and was it sweet. I wasnt  use to this type of love but I really liked it. Anyway to make it up to Ryan we are going to walk hand in hand everywhere. We will laugh and giggle and tell secrets and— and sit next to each other when ever wherever. Then I assume my social life will plummet from that point on and no more will I stand for people messing with Ryan. It's simply not going to fly.
I honestly can't wait.