To Fathom

I take a seat at my desk and drop my binders on the ground. Ew. Counseling class. I hate this. I hear a young freshman think.

Counseling is an elective where all grades were intermixed. There are around 7 seniors, like Kai and I, about 9 juniors, like Donovan, and the rest of the class are bunches of sophomores and freshmen whose names I still don’t know.

Donovan sits right in front of me. “Hey.” I say. He smiles at me and begins to slide a hair band off my wrist. “Hey.” He whispers. Donovan’s fingers feel strange against mine, but I can tell that my face is flushed. My chest feels fluttery and once he slips it off, he begins playing with it like he’s never seen anything like it before.

Just then, Kai comes in with all his magnetic glory. I glance back at him, and he’s staring right back at me with a peaceful look on his face. Wow. He thinks, looking at me.

I turn back and try not to pounce on him with all my might. Wow? When he looks at me and Donovan he thinks Wow? Wow what? Is it so amazing that a guy other than Ron actually talks to me in my life? Or is he just that much of a bastard?

Kai sits down next to me and I try not to look at him. Don’t look at her. Don’t look at her, Kai. He thinks. Jesus. My brother’s here. Prepare to be serenaded, Jania. Donovan thinks.

I grin at him, and he beams back. Then he slides my hair band back onto my wrist right when Mr. Holland comes in. “OK. Class, it’s time.” He says.

Mr. Holland is probably the most annoying teacher since civilization started. Everything that he does or tries to do is somehow bended to make it seem bothersome.

“Now, all of you already have your partners for your project, am I right?”

A long silence fills the room. Jilli Campbell bursts into the class, her hair a mess and a bit of lipstick on the corner of her mouth. She wipes it off quickly. Donovan rolls his eyes. I can’t believe I’m partners with Jilli. Hell, why can’t I be partners with Jania? She’s so much cooler. He thinks. I’m shocked and happy at the same time. I’m happy that Donovan thinks I’m cool, but I’m shocked that he’s with Jilli.

She comes inside the classroom while Mr. Holland folds his stubby and fat arms. He glares at her as she takes a seat. “Mr. Holland, I, I was-“ He cuts her off and I laugh. “Where were you Jilli? Really, where were you?” I say. The whole class snickers while Jilli blushes bright red. “Shut the fuck up Jania.” She says. I smile and continue to press her on. “Why was Preston Landry coming down the hall with you? And didn’t I see you going to the back of the school with him? And what were those noises that I heard? Did you sneak a moaning dog or were his lips too chapped?” That does it. The classroom might as well be described as a jungle, with girls giggling and teasing her while boys laugh their asses off. “I HATE YOU JANIA!” She screams. I snort and roll my eyes. “Like I care.” I say.

I hate that swollen piece of shit. She doesn’t know anything. She thinks. I laugh some more until Mr. Holland quiets us down and passes out a few papers. He glares at me and asks to see me after class. I shrug, because, obviously, I will not see him after school and instead go home with Ron. Kai looks at me once, and when I meet his eyes, my stomach tumbles up and down and I redden. He shakes his head calmly.

I hate Kai. I hate Kai. I think. He’s so annoying and he thinks that he can just shake his head at me, just like that. He thinks that he’s so all that, but he really is just a stuck-up poser that everyone thinks is truly awesome. I know what people think about him.

OH MY GOSH! Kai! Does my hair look OK? That dude makes the girls swoon, I wish I was him. Wow, he looks so sexy today. I just want to fuck him right here and right now.

“Your first assignment is to spend the weekend with your partner, doing something that Partner A likes on Saturday, and something that Partner B likes on Sunday.” He writes this on the board for some reason, and you could see his arm fat jiggling and his bald head reflects against the light, blinding some students.

A young blonde freshman raises her hand high. I hope Kai notices me. She thinks, glancing back at him. He isn’t looking at her, but is tapping his pencil against his nose. Damnit. She thinks again.

“Yes Sarah?” Mr. Holland says, smiling like a pedophile. Sarah takes note of this and cringes back. “What if you’re not sure of your partner? Like, I checked the board, and I think that I’m supposed to be with Kai, but I’m not so certain.” She puts her hand down, and Kai lurches forward and shouts, “Um, I think I’m with Jania!” startling some students. Once he realizes what he’s done, he chuckles, which makes his followers giggle too.

Sarah frowns and looks hopefully at me. Please switch partners, please switch partners, please switch partners, please switch partners! She thinks. Just to piss her off, I stick the middle finger up at her and her mouth drops open. She turns around but I can see the back of her neck flush.

Mr. Holland looks at his list and shakes his head. “I’m sorry Sarah, but you’re partners with Brian.” A tall sophomore with bright red acne and green rim glasses lifts his head up. “What about me?” He asks. When no one answers, he puts his head back down.

Sarah looks like she’s about to cry and stands up. “Are you sure, Mr. Holland? Can I please double check the list? I was so sure that I’d be with Kai!” She walks over to Mr. Holland and looks at the listing. She scans it for a few minutes and she actually breaks down and cries.

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING? is pretty much on everyone’s mind. Kai seems embarrassed by the situation and shies away in his seat, and thinks, what is her problem?
“Sarah? Are you alright?” Mr. Holland says, placing a hand on her shoulder. She screams, and he takes his hand off her shoulder. “You don’t understand! My friend Tori and I worked on this project for a whole month! I was supposed to get Kai! I was supposed to seduce Kai and then he’d be my boyfriend! It isn’t fair Mr. Holland! But stupid Jania is paired with him. She doesn’t care who she’s paired with. She just wants to make everybody’s life miserable! I HATE HER!”

The bell rings and I quickly pick up my stuff and exit out the door. Sarah is still shouting out her feelings at Mr. Holland, and I can’t help but feel a little sorry for the girl.

Donovan catches up to me and spins me around. He looks at me sadly. “Don’t worry about it. Nobody hates you.” I laugh and break away from him. Donovan really is handsome, and I want to have an attraction to him. But when I look at him…I feel nothing. “It’s alright Domino, lots of people hate me.” He laughs and steers another way to catch up with Kai.

Ron taps me on the head and I spin around. He smiles lightly and I smile back. “Come on.” He says, linking his arm through him. “Let’s go get some icecream.”