Stand Unafraid, All the Good Souls
Ch. 2
Spencer sighed and looked down at his hands, which were clasped together in his lap. So much had happened in a matter of a few days, he hardly had time to even think about how he felt about it. But, as he sat there, waiting for his turn, that’s all he could do. He thought about what he would say, how to explain it all. It didn’t really matter, they’d listen no matter what, but he wanted it to come out right, just for himself.
“All right, who would like to go next?” Everyone sat still, eyes on their feet or on a random object in the room, anywhere but at the front. Spencer sighed again and stood up. The woman leading the meeting smiled warmly at him.
He walked to the front of the room, hands in his pockets. He took a few deep breaths and shuffled his feet. “Uh, h-hi. I’m Spencer, and I’m a recovering narcotics addict.”
A chorus of ‘hi Spencers’ rang out through the room.
“I had been clean for about 3 years up until about 4 months ago. It started after I began having migraines and hallucinations. A doctor told me that there were no physical reasons for them. So, I, uh, started taking pain medication to deal with them. That lead to me using Dilaudid again.” He lifted his eyes and scanned the room. Half of the attendees were watching him, listening intently; the other half, mostly those that hadn’t taken their turn yet, were looking at their hands or the walls, or some other place in the room. That’s when he noticed Melanie, sitting in the back, out of the way so she didn’t disturb the ones who actually needed the meeting. Technically she shouldn’t have been there, she wasn’t a recovering addict, but Spencer was glad she was.
She smiled and sent him a small wave, encouraging him to continue. So, he did. He talked about how, for now, he was fine, but he did have the early signs of schizophrenia. That at that moment in time, it was about being proactive so he could lead as normal a life as possible. He made the decision to leave the BAU, a suggestion but not a requirement. He felt it was the best option for him. Tomorrow would be the day he flew back to Quantico to actually finalize everything and he was more scared of that than the phone call. He finished up and went to sit by Melanie for the rest of the meeting.
Since he met her, she had been there every step of the way. He wasn’t quite sure why she helped him so much, but he was grateful.
The meeting continued and Spencer listened to each story that followed his. It didn’t seem long before it was finally over. Spencer and Melanie walked out of the building, walking towards Spencer’s hotel, which was right down the street. They walked silently for several minutes, Spencer thinking about what was going to happen the next day and hoping it’d go well.
“So, if you need someone to go with you tomorrow, you know, for moral support, I’m more than willing,” she suggested.
“W-what? You don’t have to do that. I mean, I’m scared, but I don’t want to take you away from your mom or your responsibilities or anything.”
“Spence, it’s fine. I’ve got backed up vacation days at work, and mom will be fine for a few days. Besides, your mom has been not so subtly suggesting that you need someone to go with you.” She laughed and shook her head. Spencer smiled, that did sound like his mom.
“Well, if you want to, that’d be great.”
She grinned. “Great! I’ll go pack and meet you at the airport in the morning!”
“Melanie, wait.” She stopped and turned back to face him. “Thank you. F-for everything.” She just smiled, turned back the other way, and continued walking.
“All right, who would like to go next?” Everyone sat still, eyes on their feet or on a random object in the room, anywhere but at the front. Spencer sighed again and stood up. The woman leading the meeting smiled warmly at him.
He walked to the front of the room, hands in his pockets. He took a few deep breaths and shuffled his feet. “Uh, h-hi. I’m Spencer, and I’m a recovering narcotics addict.”
A chorus of ‘hi Spencers’ rang out through the room.
“I had been clean for about 3 years up until about 4 months ago. It started after I began having migraines and hallucinations. A doctor told me that there were no physical reasons for them. So, I, uh, started taking pain medication to deal with them. That lead to me using Dilaudid again.” He lifted his eyes and scanned the room. Half of the attendees were watching him, listening intently; the other half, mostly those that hadn’t taken their turn yet, were looking at their hands or the walls, or some other place in the room. That’s when he noticed Melanie, sitting in the back, out of the way so she didn’t disturb the ones who actually needed the meeting. Technically she shouldn’t have been there, she wasn’t a recovering addict, but Spencer was glad she was.
She smiled and sent him a small wave, encouraging him to continue. So, he did. He talked about how, for now, he was fine, but he did have the early signs of schizophrenia. That at that moment in time, it was about being proactive so he could lead as normal a life as possible. He made the decision to leave the BAU, a suggestion but not a requirement. He felt it was the best option for him. Tomorrow would be the day he flew back to Quantico to actually finalize everything and he was more scared of that than the phone call. He finished up and went to sit by Melanie for the rest of the meeting.
Since he met her, she had been there every step of the way. He wasn’t quite sure why she helped him so much, but he was grateful.
The meeting continued and Spencer listened to each story that followed his. It didn’t seem long before it was finally over. Spencer and Melanie walked out of the building, walking towards Spencer’s hotel, which was right down the street. They walked silently for several minutes, Spencer thinking about what was going to happen the next day and hoping it’d go well.
“So, if you need someone to go with you tomorrow, you know, for moral support, I’m more than willing,” she suggested.
“W-what? You don’t have to do that. I mean, I’m scared, but I don’t want to take you away from your mom or your responsibilities or anything.”
“Spence, it’s fine. I’ve got backed up vacation days at work, and mom will be fine for a few days. Besides, your mom has been not so subtly suggesting that you need someone to go with you.” She laughed and shook her head. Spencer smiled, that did sound like his mom.
“Well, if you want to, that’d be great.”
She grinned. “Great! I’ll go pack and meet you at the airport in the morning!”
“Melanie, wait.” She stopped and turned back to face him. “Thank you. F-for everything.” She just smiled, turned back the other way, and continued walking.