Don't Let Me Fall

Just in time in fact because the cops started to speed up the streets to the party.

I got out my phone and texted blaze

To blaze: cops are here get everyone and get out! Xx ken

To Kendall: thanks honey bee on my way out… need a ride??

To blaze: nahh babe I’m good I need fresh air :D

I walked slowly thinking about everything that Justin kid had said. It worried me because most of it was true. I did all this to hide behind all the cracks in my life that my mom had left.

After half an hour I walked up the drive to our small house.

I was mildly drunk and I was chanting lyrics to lady gaga’s just dance as I tried to stumble to the front door. I pushed it open and walked down the small hall I walked to the small TV room and looked at my dad’s tear stained face.

When my dad saw me he brushed the tears away and stood up.

I raised my eyes confused.

“Look Kendall I know your mother leaving is hard on you and this is your way of dealing with it, but it’s not right. I’m trying to protect you and help you here and you’ve got to understand whatever I do to you and your sister is for your benefit.” My dad said running his hand through his hair and looking at me.

“Can this wait dad I want to sleep” I said trying to walk away.

My dad shook his head and looked at me “no Kendall this can’t wait.” My dad said a little sterner. He pointed to an empty spot on the couch and I shrugged sitting down.

“I’m trying my best to help you guys to get through this. I’m trying to mend the cracks that your mother left. I’m trying to stay strong for you and your sister but I can’t, not anymore. I just want to curl into a ball and cry my eyes out. But I don’t, I’m trying to move on so we can have a normal life again. But I know deep down inside things are never going to be the same.” My dad sighed and I think I may have felt myself soften up to what he was saying.

I felt sorry for him. I mean he had to deal with me.

“Were broken without your mother… but broken things can be fixed. We are broken but not destroyed.” He said looking up at me. He took a deep breath and continued. “We need money Kendall, and I was talking to an old friend. I told her how you make your own clothes and she offered you a job. On your behalf I accepted.”

“YOU WHAT” I said yelling standing up “I don’t want a job” I scowled.

“It’s either this job or military school.” my dad said trying to quieten me.

I sighed and sat down. There was no way I would go to military school.

“Fine...what do I have to do?” I asked

“You’re going to Canada” my dad said fast

“What?” I asked him.

“You’re going to Canada” my dad said again.

I was going to fucking Canada... joy.

“Then I’m not going.” I said getting up.

“There’s no excuse the lady is coming over here tomorrow to pick you up and then you’ll fly over to Canada.” My dad said before I could say something my dad said sternly “and that’s final” he looked at me and walked up the stairs.

“Ugh” I yelled frustrated. I picked up the nearest object and threw it at the wall.

Watching the vase shatter I sat down and let a tear escape my eye. I’m as broken as that vase at the moment. And almost impossible to fix.