Love in Theory and Practice: SWRMXS

Elin bends as far as she can over the kitchen table in her father’s house going over the documents that she and Seppo have been stressing over for a while now. An entire briefcase full of financials, credentials, and business plans, budgets and market research.

Whenever we’re in discussion about the business future of the band, I thank the lord for Elin. I am clueless when the words business capital, market saturation, and fiscal reports start flying around. She maneuvers her way through the craggy landscape of our business life without any hesitation or confusion.

She’s now around 32 weeks pregnant. I always thought that I’d seen everything interesting there is in the world but to watch the progression of a pregnancy is one of the coolest things. The way they change and grow and evolve inside of their mother is incredible. It’s a bit like the progression of anything in life except that I truly helped create it.

After leaving our record label, we have been incredibly excited and nervous for the future of the band. There are so many possible outcomes at this point that I’m almost paralyzed with fear. Elin assures me that there are excellent opportunities for us to expand and develop the way we want.

We’re here in Sweden for a while because in the next week or so, Elin has been ordered to go on bed rest and she’s not really impressed, so she wanted to spend time here before getting stuck inside the Helsinki house.

She’s been perfectly tan ever since our trip to Los Angeles and Fiji. Her hair lightened up to an absurd blonde I didn’t think existed. It somehow made her eye color more intense. It could also be the pregnancy but she’s more beautiful that ever.

It’s unfortunate because I don’t think I’m getting any better looking. I’ve always been a bit unfortunate looking but with the work moving our record contract, I’ve just gotten more tired looking.

“What are you thinking of?” she says, breaking me out of my reverie. The smile on her face lets me know that she’s on the verge of laughing, which means that I was completely zoned out.

“I was thinking about how beautiful you are and how haggard I am.” I say honestly. Her laugh echoes through the kitchen and I just shrug. “It’s true.”

“Haggard Ville? You want to talk about haggard? I’m fat.” She says, still laughing.

“You’re not fat. You didn’t even put on the weight you were supposed to.”

“And you’re losing weight now over this record deal. I wish you’d just trust me.” She says and shuffles the papers away into the box they’ve been living in. “Let’s go sit outside.” She carefully stands up out of her chair and reaches out for my hand.

I take her fingers in mine and let her lead me out onto the deck. While the weather isn’t great here yet, it’s picking up. Her dad keeps a heater out here so that they can be outside pretty much anytime they want.

“I’m terrified that people will be let down if we can’t work something out.” I finally admit.

“Ville,” she says seriously. “Look at me.” I turn to her and she’s smiling at me. “We are going to work it out. There’s enough capital involved that if it’s truly what you guys want, you can start your own label. We’re not going to let anyone down.”

“I don’t have that kind of money.” I say, unbelieving.

“What part of ‘my money is now yours’ didn’t you understand?” she says with raised eyebrows. “When I married you Ville, I signed you on to everything. Between the two of us there’s enough to start 3 record labels. I could explain it to you in interest accrual and profit returns but I’m not going to. Just relax for now and work with the guys to figure out what you really want to do. Then let Seppo and me work it out.”

“What would I do without you?” I ask.

“You’d have to hire someone to take care of this for you. But the way it is now, all you have to do is help me around because I’m too large to fend for myself.” She says with a loving smile.

Our preparations for the babies are completely done. The nursery is done- all of the little drawers are filled with little clothes, diapers and blankets. Elin has a bag packed incase she goes into labor and we have to leave quickly. The doctors warned us that she’d probably go in early since there are twins.

She’s been preparing and seems calm but I’m nervous. I don’t really know much about babies and I know nothing about labor.

She squeezes my hand because she knows I’m lost in thought about all the things I can’t control and can’t predict. I’m not usually like this but sometimes life weighs me down a bit.