Killing Loneliness

Bam came and sat next to be on the bed, then started to inch his way closer. I moved towards him as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I wasn't sure what Bam had put in, but only a few minutes into the movie did I turn to Bam , not being able to resist myself, and started making out with him.
As our lips met, then parted and then met together again, I felt his tongue graze my bottum lip and I quickly parted mine to let it in. I slid my tongue into his mouth as he did the same with his. I ran my hand up along his neck and caught my figners into his hair. Bam's hands slid down my shoulder to my waist where he ran his hands over the bare skin slowly. His hand glided over my hips and pulled up my knee to hook onto his hip. I couldn't help but moan when Bam pulled himself on top of me and pressed his bare skin to mine. The feeling of skin on skin sent chills down my body and made me want him just even more.
Before I knew it, Bam was tugging at the rim of my pants, wanting to pull them off. I didn't fight him as he stopped for a minute and pulled them off. As soon as our lips were back together I started to pull at his belt buckle and unhooked the button on the top of his jeans. He kicked them off effortlessly all while not breaking the kiss.
I pushed Bam back and rolled him over so I was on top now. My hips instinctively grinded into his as I straddled his hips. His hands gripped my hips as we made out without taking a breather. Bam sat up, and my legs wrapped around his waist so I was sitting in his lap. His hands traveled up my back. Stroking and gripping at my bare skin. His fingers slid under the clasp of my bra, and quickly it was loose and he was pulling it off of me. I pressed my bare breats up against his chest, which made him moan into my lips.
Quickly, Bam flipped my over onto my back and kissed his way from my lips across my jaw. I clutched his shoulders and moaned as Bam left a trail of light yet sexual kisses down my neck then down my chest. He kissed my bare breast and across my stomach. His warm lips continued down until they hit my hip bones, I quivered under his lightest touch. I felt him finger the back of my panties as he kissed along the edge of them.
It wasn't tell then that the flashbacks started. My body froze and I thought about Lawrence. The images of him raping me ran threw my head like a movie before I could even stop them. I blinked my eyes hoping that it would get rid of the images that I was seeing. I felt the tears running down my cheeks as I laid there un able to move.
“Ashleigh?! Whats wrong?” Bam's voice was urgent when he noticed my eyes tearing. He quickly moved so his eyes were just an inch from mine. Finally, the images stopped and I looked up at Bam with my nerves raw. “Babe whats wrong?” His fingers pulled the hair out of my face and lightly with his thumb he wiped the tears off of my cheek. Bam didn't say anything else until my quiet sobs stopped. I wanted to die I was so embarrassed that this happened. He wrapped his arms around me, and pulled my closer.
“S – sorry about that,” I hugged him tightly, feeling as if he was the only life line I had left. Bam stoked my hair, and pulled me a little bit closer.
“Its ok,” His voice was just a whisper and he kissed the top of my head lightly. “What was it about? You're little panic attack I guess you'd call it,”
“Lawrence. I haven't even been this close to any guy, let alone human since well yah...he raped me,” I was scared to look up into Bam's face, thinking that I was dissapointing him, making him think I was just more work then I really was. Bam stopped stroking my hair and turned so we were nose to nose.
“I'm so sorry. I got caught up in the moment, I forgot. Oh shit, I'm sorry,” His eyes were pleading with me as he looked over my face for my reaction. His right hand came up and I pressed my cheek into his palm.
“Its ok. I just feel really embarassed about it all,” I could feel my face getting hot and I tried to look away. Bam turned my face again so that we were eye to eye.
“Don't be embarassed. It was something that happened that you had no control over. It's all right,” Bam smiled softly to me and kissed my lightly on my forehead. I looked over his shoulder remembering that we had put a movie on. The end of the credits were running on the screen, and then a second later the screen was black. 2 hours must have gone by very quickly.
“I guess we didn't need that movie,” I tried to laugh, even though I sounded cloged up and funny. Bam laughed and then picked up the remote. He turned off the TV, and then rolled back over so that I could curl up in his arms again.
“I guess I should go head to my bed then,” I tried to move but Bam wouldn't let me budge. I turned to look at him. For some reason a warmth spread threw my chest and the rest of my body as I looked into his face. I wanted to laugh, and to smile and to giggle. His face was serious though so I kept a straight face.
“Sleep with me tonight? Like next to me and all?” He looked up at me like a little boy and I smiled down. There was no way I could resist him when he looked at me like that.
I smiled and nodded, moving closer to him again and cuddling up. I wasn't sure what time it was, but together, Bam and I fell asleep before we could say anything to each other.