Killing Loneliness

I ran the masscara over my eye one last time before looking back at myself. I smiled at myself as I heard the guys yelling and joking around from my room. I let Bam get ready in his room as I got ready in the guest room that he had first given me. There was a knock on the door and I turned to see Novak standing there.
“Ready to go?” he took a few steps into my room and looked around at my stuff that was scattered around from the little while I had actually been there.
“Yup just give me a sec,” I looked threw my suit case for a pair of heeled boots. I knew I had brought a cute pair but they must have been at the bottom of the suitcase.
“K, thats cool,” Novak sat on the edge of the bed and looked over at me. “I wanted to say sorry too,” His voice wasn't as filled with energy as it normally was, and I looked around with a confused look on my face.
“Sorry for what?” I sat down next to him on the edge of the bed and tucked my pant leg into the top of the boots. I looked up at him before I zipped up my boots.
“For Kat,” I wasn't really sure what he was talking about until he contiuned to talk. “I got her to drink last night. I feel bad for it, cause everyone always hates it when I relapse...and then I made her and then she freaked at you and Bam,” He was looking down at his hands and fiddled with a ring on his finger.
I wasn't sure what to say. There were so many feelings running threw my head I wasn't sure what to say. Kat had worked years for her sobriety and the fact that Novak made her like that last night must have been something drastic for him to say anything and convince her. I bit my lip, I didn't know what I was suposed to say, Good Job you fucked over my boss or Thanks for ruining everything my bestfriend had worked for.
“I just don't think it's fare sometimes,” Novak startled me when he said this. I looked up from my own hands to see him looking back at me.
“What isn't fare?”
“That Bam always gets what he wants. If he wants a new car, then he goes out and buys one. If he wants a new girl, he goes out and finds one. Maybe there's a chance that I'd like the girl instead him. He knows Kat's crazy about him,”
Thats when it clicked. That was why Kat was trying so hard to keep us apart. I wasn't sure if I should be mad at her or just accept that I hurt her.
“Well...” I zipped up the last part of my boot and looked over at Novak again. “Thanks I guess. I don't really know what else to say, my minds sorta going a milion miles a second right now.” I stood up and walked over to pick up my coat. When I turned around, Novak was standing there.
“I'll go get Bam for you,” He said it quickly and was out of the room in a second. I leant against the dresser trying to let my mind wrap around what had all been told to me. First, Kat was in love with Bam and thats why she didn't want me to be near him at all. Second, it was Novak who got her wasted. Lastly, Bam had a problem with girls? Well not so much problem, but seemed to always have one. There were mixed feelings in every inch of my body.
I heard footsteps and looked up to the door where I saw Bam standing there with a worried look on his face.
“Babe, are you ok? Novak said you were upset,” He crossed the floor quickly and placed his hands on my shoulders. I didn't say anything first, I wasn't sure if I even wnated to talk.
“I guess so, I mean I don't know. Novak came in and just told me a bunch of random things,”
“What did he say?” Bam slid his arm around my waist as I looked up at him finally.
“He said he was the one who got Kat to drink last night. Not sure how but he said he did,”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” It was easy to hear the aggitated tone in Bam's voice. He was just about as happy about it as I was. “I cant believe he fucking did this!” Bams voice raised a little.
“Oh wait, I'm not finished. He then told me how Kat's in love with you and you know it,” I avoided Bam's eyes this time, not sure if he was going to be suprised to knew it all along. “Then said how you seem to go from girl to girl sometimes. Like if you want a new girl you'll just go out and find someone,” I looked up at Bam this time and he had a strange look on his face. I wasn't sure what it meant, but I was starting to fear for the worst.
We stood there for a moment together, and he still hadn't said anything.
“Look Bam, I get that you're lonely I am to. But I'm just not some girl who you can fill your time with til you find someone else,” I didn't want to say the words but they came out before I could stop myself. After all the shit I had already delt with I wasn't going to deal with shit that I didn't need to.
Bam's eyes were sad. Either he knew I was right or what ever I had said upset him. I bit my lip, waiting for an answer. I looked back up into Bam's face as he opened his mouth to say soemthing.
“Normally I would just go find some girl, but there's something different about you. I don't want to do anything that would hurt you. I knew Kat had feelings for me, but I don't feel the same way. When she left Nikki and tried to get with me, I told her no. Novak has said all this shit to me before,” I rested my forehead on Bam's shoulder, trying to understand what he was saying.
I felt a finger slip under my chin and pull my head up. When I looked up, my eyes matched Bam's bright blue ones.
“If I thought you weren't worth something then I wouldn't have delt with Kat earlier or got you to hang out with me and all the guys. Or actually care last night when things got a little to far. I don't want to hurt you, I promise,”
His lips touched mine lightly, but as I pressed mine back the kiss deepened. I pulled my lips away after a moment and took his hand.
“Come on, lets go out.” I smiled behind him as I pulled him along with me.