Killing Loneliness

Three months had passed since I had figured out I was pregnant. Bam was constntly back and forth between LA and West Chester to see me. Each day I spent with him I was falling in love with him even more. The time he spent out with me in LA was low key, quality time. When he was out there to see me, no matter who was out there too he would stay with me instead of going to party. It was hard to resist his smile as he told me how he turned down the guys again for a party.
“Bam are you sure? You haven't gone out in a while and I know you want to,” I would sit there feeling guilty, like a bad person for keeping him in. It was odvious that the guys on the other end of the phone were getting mad at him, telling him I was controling him. Every time they would say anything Bam would tell back at them.
“Baby, it's ok. I want to stay in. I wanna be with just you before it's not just us anymore,” He would rub his hand over my stomach, that was starting to grow slowly, and look up at me with a large smile.
My heart would melt each time.

It was a day later, and I woke up earlier then usual to see Bam sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands.
“Baby whats wrong?” I rolled over and put my legs over the edge of the bed liek his. He shook his head softly and looked back up at me.
“Nothing, I just have a fucked up dream,” There was a worried look on his face, soemthing that you didn't see very often.
“What was it about hunny?” I snuggled up to his arm and rested my head on his shoulder. He didn't make a move from there except too take my hand lightly.
“Something happened to you. The baby too, I don't know. You died and so did the baby, and I was left without either of you,” I looked up into Bams face and tears were threatening to come crashing down from them. I turned and wrapped my arms around his neck tightly.
“Baby, it's ok. Nothing is going to happen to me or the baby,” Tears were starting to brim in my eyes too, it was so heartbreaking to see Bam sitting in front of me crying cause he thought he was gonna loose me.
We sat there for a few minutes before either of us moved. I glanced at the clock and it was time for us to get ready. I had a doctors appointment this morning. Bam and I each had our showers and got ready. By the time I was showered and ready, I went downstairs to see Bam putting some food on a plate.
He looked up at me when he heard me walk into the room. A smile spread across his face as he put the plate down on the table. It was some scrabbled eggs and toast.
“Thanks baby,” I kissed him on the cheek. “You didn't have to do this for me,” I smiled as I picked up my fork and started to eat. It wasnt til after the first bite that I realized Bam had made me something. Now, he did know a few basic things, but I had never had anything like this from him.
“Babe did you make this?” I looked at the food infront of me causiously for a second before taking another bite. It was good for someone who barely knew how to cook. A huge smile spread across Bam's face like he was a little kid.
“Yes! Do you likeit?” He came and sat down next to me with his own plate.
“Yah, acutally it's really good.”
We ate together and talked about what we were hoping to hear from the doctor. The ride was just like every other drive that Bam and I had shared. It was filled with music, and us singing along to the music.
When we got there we went into the room almost right away, it was weird how we didn't have a wait.
I sat on the examination table, looking at Bam nervously. He took my hand in his and squeezed it lightly.
“I'm sure everything's ok Babe,” He reassured me,b ut I could shake off the feeling of something being wrong.
When the doctor came and smiled at each of us. He talked to us about what we should be expecting, and started to tell Bam what he should do if anything happens. I watched as Bam nodded nervously, not reallly knowing what to do or say. When it came to my turn the doctor pressed on my stomach lightly and then pulled out the ultra sound machine.
“Are we acutally going to be abelt os see something today?” I looked back and forth between the screen and him eagerly. The doctor pressed the cold gooy stuff onto my stomahc and then swirled it around on my stomach.
A distorted noise started to come from the speakers, and I turned quickly to see a small form on the screen. My heart started to beat faster as the little body of the baby inside me started to make lines. There was clearly a head and the starting parts of limbs but not much past that.
I looked at Bam, who's eyes were glued on the screen just like mine were. I could feel tears starting to form in the corner of my eyes. The look on Bam's face was amazing. It was filled with excitement and pride.
The doctor talked about a bunch of stuff, and then said how the baby was looking great. He mentioned how it was a little soon to know if we were having a girl or a boy yet.
The doctor thanked us for coming in and then left the room a few minutes later. Bam's eyes were wide and still looking down at his hands.
“Bam are you ok?” I stood up and looked at him nervously, he looked up at me with a smile on his face.
“I – I” He stood up, still not sure what to say, but he pressed his lips to mine eagerly. “I can't believe we are having a baby,” His voice was a whisper but it sent chills over my body. I smiled and pressed my lips tohis again before pulling him out of the room with me.
Just outside the office doors I could see sheets of cold rain. I groaned. I hated the rain. I pulled the hood over my head as Bam did the same fro himself. Bam ran ahead of me and unlocked the car door as I sped walked over to him. He held the door open for me as I got in. Once the door was shut behind me, he was on the other side just a second later.
We sat together quietly as the rain poured down on top of the car.
“Hungry babe?” Bam looked over to me as he took my hand in his and placed it in his lap. I nodded eagerly, I seemed to be extra hungry lately. I guess it was cause of the baby. We drove down the street with the music off, Bam said the music was distracting him. I agreed to turn it down and trying to enjoy the sound of the rain. He pulled on into the main road.
We sat in silence together, as the rain poured heavily onto the roof of the car. I shivered in my sweater. I asked Bam where he wanted to go, he just shrugged his shoulders and pulled up to the red light. I turned over to smile at him. There was a worried expression on his face.
“Baby whats wrong?” I sat up in my seat a little, truning his face towards mine slightly. He shook his head and shrugged his shoulders again.
“I just have a really strong urge to tell you that I love you,” He looked at me with a half smirk .
“Aww, well baby I love you to,” As I finished my sentence Bam's face turned from sprta happy to a terrified look. I turned my head i the direction that his head was facing and saw the car, that was going far to fast, coming in our direction.