Killing Loneliness

I think a week had passed. Days just blurred into eachother and time seemed to pass without any notice. The nurses would coem in once an hour but they barely paid attention to me. Bam had made them move his bed closer to mine. Every little while he would try to talk to me, I wanted to talk to him, but had nothing to say.
Half the time I would roll over onto my other side so I didn't have to see him. Everytime I looked up into his face tears would threaten to fall and break my shell that I had started to form. The world around me seemed worthless, like there was no real satisfaction in life. It came to the day that I was getting discharged. Kat was waiting there at the entrance of the hospital with her car. Bam had left a few days before hand, he needed to head back to West Chester. Our goodbye wasn't very romantic. I was curled on my side in my hospital gown. He kissed my cheek and told me he loved me. I nodded and told him “yah, you to,” He didn't seem very pleased with me.
The ride back to Kat's was silent, she had come to see me every day, bringing my flowers, or books or magazines. I could tell that she wanted me to try and think of something else but I knew it wouldn't work. My steps up our stairs were slow, but she waited patiently behind me. I crawled into nbed and didn't bother moving for weeks.

Slowly, I started to go back to work every day with Kat. When I wasn't working with Kat, I'd be with the guys performing or working on new songs and practicing. I had never put so much energy into anything in my life. I don't know what I would have done without Kat. Shedid everything for me til now.
I hadn't talked to Bam since he left the hospital while I was still in it. I had heard rumors of him partying, partying hard. That didn't really suprise me. If I wasn't so dedicated to what I was doing, then well maybe I would go out and get wasted every night too. But that's just not me.
After band practice, I walked into the shop to see Kat and some of the other girls talking quietly about something. They didn't hear or see me come in. I snuck up behind them and asked them what they were looking at. They were all huddled around Kat's computer and jumped when I made a noise. Kat slammed her laptop shut and they all looked upa t me with very red faces.
“Whats up?” I walked around so that I was facing them and they all looked around, avoiding my gaze.
“Uhm,” Kat opened her laptop slowly and then clicked a few times before she turned it towards me. There on the screen was a group of photos, with familiar people in them. Bam had a large smile on his face, while his arm was around the neck of some other girl. I bent closer to the photo's and noticed Missy's face. Under the photo's the article said that Bam and his seperated wife Missy were getting back together. They were going to be having a ceremony with close friends soon to renew their vows.
I was expecting my body to start freaking, tears to start running down my face, but nothing happened. I read the article over and over again before I turned it back towards Kat and made my way over to my station. I didn't say anything to them for the rest of the day. They all must have thought I was mad, but really? I should have expected this from Bam. He was continuing on with his life and you know what, so will I.