Forever Now

Gustav's POV
     The cab ride home was one of the best. Not that I rode in cabs on a daily basis actually...The sun was setting and it was Me, Audrey, Tom, And Marie all crammed in one. Everyone was sunburnt, happy and smelling like chlorine not saying a word.

Audrey had nodded off and now rested her head on my shoulder. The cab driver pulled into Audrey's lot, the rest of our group in another cab behind ours. Audrey woke up rubbing her eyes.

"Are we here? Is this the club?" she asked, her eyes barely open. I opened the car door helping her out.

"No, we're home remember." I said. She nodded sleepily following me into the house. The everyone else trudged in after us. As soon as the front door closed, we all saw Audrey's dad descend the stairs slowly, taking in the scene.

"Err, hallo?" he said loosening his tie and meeting us at the foot of the stairs. Audrey groaned.

"Oh shit, I completely forgot..." She trailed off looking up at the balcony confused. We all looked with her seeing her mom standing awkwardly at the top. She waved at all of us.

"Tag spatzi..." she said coming downstairs. Sami scoffed.

"What's she doing here?" She asked rudely. Ouchhh. Me and the guys looked around embarrassed. I gave Tom and Bill a look, maybe we should go?

Jonas leaned against the wooden stairwell smiling amused.

"She stopped by to see you two, but you were gone." he pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose. He looked around.

"Nice to see you boys again." He nodded to each of us. "Marie? And...your friend is?" he asked stepping foreword to take Amelia's hand and kiss it. She blushed as his lips lingered.

"Amelia...Tan." she stuttered. Good god. This guy was a Mac daddy! He walked to the kitchen leaving us behind as Audrey and Sami's mom grabbed her keys off of the hall table.

"Make yourselves comfortable. By what I've seen...I could assume you already have..." he said behind him. Audrey shuffled beside me.

"Another time I suppose." Audrey's mother said hugging her loosely. Sami hung away by Bill, avoiding any contact with her mom. Kristine left closing the door quietly behind her.

Without words we all dispersed to get ready for Amelia's show tonight. I wasnt quite sure what to make of it, but I heard it was going to be odd.

Audrey locked the door to her room behind us. I watched her as she anxiously rummaged through her closet. I came up behind her and took her arm.

"Hey, Hey, calm down." I said laughing. She tossed a sparkly dress on the ground and put two fingers to her temples.

"I want to know why she's here, or why she WAS here." she said picking the chipping blue paint from her nails and staring at the opposite wall. I took both of her shoulders and forced her to look at me.

"It doesn't matter. Don't think about her. We should have fun tonight!" I said trying to make her feel better. And then I remembered how me and the guys were leaving for Leipzig the day after tomorrow. I didn't want to bring it up though. 

She nodded setting her jaw. Then she opened her mouth to say something, but stopped short. She had been doing that a lot, and I sensed that she had something to say, but kept NOT saying it.

"You're right. Who gives a shit." she said going back to the closet and pulling a black tutu from the top shelf.  

"Uh. Whats that for?" I asked warily. She grinned to herself.

"Didn't Marie tell you? It's gonna be a scream?"

Marie's POV
     Tom refused to wear anything out of the ordinary. Even though what he normally wore was kinda in that category...

I, on the other hand was decked out with some borrowed digs that Amelia had brought from home. I emerged from Tom's bathroom with holey black tights, a choking red corset with a bouffant short silk dress underneath. I had my hair tugged everywhich way and I even pulled out some of my old thick makeup and piercings.

Tom's eyes widened.

"How do I look?" I asked prancing around in front of him. He blinked.

"Are we role playing or something? Cause that's hot as shit." he said tugging at a ruffle on my dress. I heard Georg from the next room complaining about something Amelia was making him wear. 

I quickly kicked the door closed with the heel of my platform pumps, locking it. I ran over and hopped on him.

"You like it better OFF Too huh?" he said unhooking the silver latches of my corset. I bit my lip nodding.

"It itches." I confessed. He kissed me as I wrapped my legs around him. He threw the corset across the room.

"How much time do we have?" he asked breathlessly. It reminded me of when we first met months ago, kissing ourselves crazy in the handicapp stall at Club Nouveau. I tangled my arms around his neck bringing my lips to his ear.

"As much as you want."

Sami's POV
     Late into the night, we piled into my dad's truck that he brought home to go to this mysterious gig. My dad wasn't too happy about it, but I wasnt too happy with him abandoning us for years either. Guess who won.

Amelia insisted on all of us wearing these odd and kooky outfits. Bill of course didn't have a problem with this and me, I just pulled out my old zombie cheerleader Halloween outfit from my 10th year school dance. Fit like a charm. I couldn't help but notice Bill pretty much drooling over me. 

Eat your heart out, I thought ironically getting into the van and making sure a little bit of my skirt tickled his nose on the way in. 

The drive there was crazy. Tom swerving on the Autobahn trying to scare us and Audrey putting a sick cd of house on as loud as it could go.

Amelia sat in the very back row quietly smiling to herself and looking out the window. She was wearing shiny black spandex suspenderlike outfit. It was complete with black lipstick and her hair done up in buns. The skirt on the outfit was so short, you could see the top of her black ruffled stockings and thigh high boots.  She's weird...I thought twirling my fingers to the rhythm of the trancelike song. Then I looked down at my outfit. Oh, duh.

We arrived at this shady part of town pulling up in the back of a sagging brick building as Amelia had instructed. We all got out of the car, and I'll admit, I was a bit frightened. I took Bill's black gloved hand. He really did look like a prince of darkness tonight, he would definitely fit in here. I thought observing a girl with a shaved head and gauges come over to Amelia.

"Where have you been?! They're going WILD!" the girl said looking at us all strangely. "I've never seen them before." she said in a thick British accent.

Amelia put a floorlength black see-through  trenchcoat on and  put a hand on her hip.

"They're with me. Let's go." she said motioning for us to follow her. In a narrow line we entered the building each shocked. From the outside, the place was a dump. But on the inside it was goth/trance/drug addicts paradise. Turquoise light danced beneath our feet and strobe light freeze framed everybody twining into the wailing music.

"Jesus Christ." Tom grumbled, "It's a bunch of FREAKS." Marie slapped his arm. Okay, it was a bit weird in here, but it was...different. Amelia handed Audrey her purse and cellphone.

"I'll see you guys on the other side." she winked. 

"Er. What's that supposed to mean?" Gustav asked awkwardly. We laughed drifting into the crowd of leather wearing, whip bearing, chain carrying skinheads. Bill was in awe, and the people here were in awe of HIM. The lights dimmed so that there was only the glow of a fishtank that held up the bar. He squeezed my hand bouncing on his heels.

A totally sick collection of sounds came from the stage and everyone in the crowd pushed foreword.

"I overcame my bone structure and metabolism." Amelia started. She captivated the audience with her staccato voice and sinuous movements.

"And to think I almost didn't come to this." Bill hollered over the roar of the crowd. Blood rushed in my ears as I nodded my head to the beat.

"Step into her carriage, put on the ritz. Saliva laced malicious, skinny, little, bitch. Singin' la la la la. La la la la." okay...so the lyrics were weird too but whatever. I thought laughing at Georg's horrified face. 

Suddenly my stomach felt funny. Not so good. Was I sick? I thought stopping my dancing. It was an odd pang in my lower stomach. 

"Ow." I said being elbowed by a large dude all in black. Bill stopped jumping and looked at me.

"You okay?" he asked. I put a brave face on.

"Yeah." I'm fine, I said weakly. "I just have to go to the bathroom." I said reassuring him and stumbling through the crowd to the toilets right off the bar.

A thin woman was chain smoking outside it on her cellphone. I tapped her. She Gave me an odd look, examining me and holding the speaker to her mesh covered chest.

"What?" she asked rudely. I clutched my belly.

"Is there anyone in there?" I asked pointing to the womens room. She shrugged going back to her conversation. I pushed past her and went in locking the door behind me. The bathroom was gross. Grey and white and not a hint of soap anywhere, oh well, I've seen worse. I thought pulling my skirt down to use the restroom.

And then I realized what the problem was. I had started my period.

The night before my birthday. The night before I had sex with Bill Kaulitz.

"Fuuuuuuck." I hissed to the empty room.

Audrey's POV
     The music was so odd, but strangely it all worked. Extremely inspired, I floated to the front to get a closer look at Amelia, Er Destroyx(her stage name) and her fist pumping partner who I was assuming was her ex. 

"Don't get mad. Get EVEN." they both yelled. The crowd throbbed with energy. Gustav stood rigidly beside me. 

"This is so weird." he said tapping his hand against his leg. I smiled inwardly. When they were finished, Amelia drank from a Marilyn Merlot wine bottle raising it to the audience.

"Angelspit is gonna take a little break. So hang tight and try not to kill the bartender yeah?" she said demurely as the house lights came back on. The crowd broke apart most people going to use the restroom or going to the bar.

"Wanna go outside?" I asked Gustav pulling his sleeve. He nodded taking a deep breath.

"Yeah." we made our way through going out the front door. The night air was thick with cigarette smoke of punks lounging outside. When I passed by a guy with a choker and black coat his hands grazed over my skirt.

"Beautiful." he whispered.

"This place is like a mental hospital." Gustav muttered after giving the guy a death glare, that was about as dark as he'd get that night. We leaned against the wall the rough stone rubbing my arm. Gustav traced a finger down my turned out wrist.

"I hope you're not gonna go goth because of this." he joked, his eyes holding mine. I shook my head quickly.

"NOOOOOO I dont plan on it." I said looking at a woman with a dog collar on. Then I realized that now was the perfect time to tell him. I opened my mouth, my stomach rolling waves of nervousness. Gustav looked at me expectantly.

"Do you have something to tell me?" he asked slowly. I dragged my nail along a crack in the wall nodding.

"Yeah." I said, my voice cracking. He took my face in his hands and made me look at him.

"What is it? Are you okay?" he asked worriedly. I shrugged away from him. Now or never.

"I'm...I was..." I started. He scratched behind his neck, waiting.
I took a deep breath. "I...was pregnant." I said letting all the air in my chest out.

Gustav blinked. I avoided his eyes instead staring at the streetlamp bathed pavement.

"Was..." he trailed off. I could feel tears welling behind my eyes as I looked at him.

"I'm too young! Remember when I told you I had so many things I wanted to do in life? Being a mom at 19 wasn't included in those things." I cried feeling fat teardrops roll down my face. 

"So, you got an..." he started incredulously.

"Abortion. Yes." I said thickly. I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand seeing all my black makeup smearing off. Gustav was silent. He ran a hand over his mouth staring right through me, thinking.

"Why didn't you tell me? It's been MONTHS Dre. MONTHS." he stressed pacing in front of me. I hugged myself.

"Because, I was afraid...of what people would say. Of not being able to live the way I do." he stopped pacing and stood looking at me his brown eyes full of hurt.

"We could have found another way. Instead of KILLING it." he said that word with utter disgust. "I loved you. So much." I reached foreword to put a hand on his face. But he moved away, a complete alien to me. He shook his head to the ground and turned to walk away from the club.

My jaw trembled as I saw his retreating form disappear into the night. This time, it was him walking away.