Let Love In

Mirrors: they identify who you are on the outside, but not on the inside. In this case, my reflection I was staring at in the mirror showed everything I kept hidden. I turned away, my head hung low. Looking at my reflection for too long only reminded me of the past. My reflection was probably the only thing that knew my secrets and I planned on keeping it that way.

“Emma, come down please. Our guests will be here any minute,” my mom shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

I glanced at my reflection and walked away, running down the stairs. I saw my mom, her arms folded across her chest. She leaned against the banister and watched every step I took. She was wearing a fancy dress, looking a little overdressed. I considered my mom to be a perfectionist, like me. If there was a speck of dirt anywhere, she’d spend hours cleaning the house. She tends to criticize any mistakes I make which did make me work even harder to keep up with her standards. But no matter what, I loved my mom.

“Sweetie, why didn’t you wear the dress I bought you last week?” She moved her head up and down, examining the dress I had already worn on her birthday a few weeks ago. I pictured the dress in my closet, hanging there for who knows how long. Don’t get me wrong, the dress is nice but it wasn’t something I’d wear. It was too…conservative. Of course, I didn’t tell my mom this.

“I want to save it for a different occasion,” I lied. She narrowed her eyes at me, trying to read right through my lie. She opened her mouth and was interrupted by the doorbell. I walked away from her, going into the kitchen. She walked to the door, her heels clicking against the hardwood floor and greeted our guests.

“Hi, it’s so nice to see you guys again!” My mom’s voice echoed in the house. “It’s been way too long.” I could hear them already talking up a storm and they were probably giving each other hugs. My mom always felt the need to greet people with hugs. I leaned against the counter, looking outside the backyard my parents had decorated not too long ago. I turned my head when my mom’s voice rose. “Jake, dear, come down.” My dad quickly ran down the stairs and greeted each of them. “Is this who I think it is? I remember when you and Emma used to always play with each other after school.”

I stood up straight once I heard my name. I, being the awkward person I am, ran to the bathroom knowing my mom is going to end up reintroducing us. I put my back against the door, hoping I could just transport straight to my bedroom.

“Emma Love, come–” my dad tried calling me, but like my mom, he was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. This gave me the chance to sneak up to my room, unnoticed, and change my dress to please my mom. As I changed, more and more guests started to enter our house. I looked out my window, seeing people laughing and drinking wine in the backyard.

“Emma,” my mom knocked on the door, “I want you to meet someone.” I hesitated, fidgeting with things to make it seem like I was busy.

“Um, I’ll be there in a minute. Just wait.” I yelled from the other side of the door. I could hear my mom walking down the stairs, leaving me alone. I waited a minute before opening the door.

“Hi!” A boy greeted me. I jumped back a little, startled at the boy’s greeting. The boy grinned, his teeth perfectly showing.

“Hi,” I said awkwardly.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m Cameron.” He spread his arms open and pulled me in for a hug. “It’s been way too long since we last saw each other.” I brought my eyebrows close together, slightly confused but tried to remember him. Bingo. We were best friends in elementary and middle school. We used to watch Power Rangers after school and would always hang out. Then we ended up moving during middle school and I had lost contact with him. But here I am, living in San Diego. It’s been over 5 years since we last saw each other.

“Cameron! Oh wow, it’s been way to long. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do,” I stepped outside my room and we went downstairs.

“Ha, catching up. I see what you did there,” he chuckled. I looked at him, baffled by what he was saying.

“I don’t get it,” I admitted. He gave me a weird look and remembered that I pretty much lived under a rock.

“You’ve been living under a rock since I last saw you, haven’t you?” I turned my head away, my hair covering my face.

“Maybe…yes.”

“Well, do I have a lot to tell you,” he placed his hand on my back and led me towards the kitchen where my parents and other guests were.

“Cameron, hey!” His dad greeted him. His eyes then averted to me. “Is this who I think it is? Emma Love, look at you all grown up. Come here.” He gave me a hug with his free arm while the other balanced a glass of what I assumed was wine.

“It’s nice to see you again, Mr. Quiseng,” I said back to him as we headed out into the backyard which was actually empty. We walked past the French doors that led to the backyard and debated on where to talk. I examined the backyard, slightly moving my head to look at everything. The sun had already gone down, the sky nearly dark. The red lanterns my mom had set up lit up the backyard, helping me find the white gazebo on the right corner of the yard.

We both said in unison, “Gazebo?” We both smiled at each other, remembering how we always thought the same ideas. We walked along a stony path that led to the gazebo and sat down on the two chairs my dad had placed earlier.
“So, how was five years living without your best friend since elementary school?” He asked me, leaning back in his chair.

“It was alright,” I said vaguely. I leaned against a table that separated us and rested my head on the palm of my hand.

He set his chair down, turned the chair around and sat with the backrest in front of him, “Oh, come on. You’re telling me your life wasn’t great while you disappeared into New York City? You lived without me for over five years and you’re saying it was just ‘alright’? Not even, great or amazing?”

I simply shook my head, waiting for him to continue.

“So, you missed me, right?” He smiled cheekily. Without being able to say a word, Cameron automatically thought I missed him. I mean, I did, but there was a moment where it sort of didn’t…matter. “Ladies and gentlemen, Emma Love missed me.” He announced to the empty backyard, his arms spread out.

“Since I’ve been living under a rock, what have I missed here in San Diego?”

“Well, I’m in a band called Allstar Weekend,” he showed me a picture of what I assumed was him and his band members. The name had clicked in my mind right away. There was a girl in one of my classes that wore an Allstar Weekend t-shirt. I had overheard her conversation about them on the last day of school.

“Wow, Cameron Quiseng a rockstar. It must be fun. How did you guys meet?”

“High school,” he told me, putting his phone in his back pocket. “You should meet them. I think you’d like them. They’re really cool guys. Well, not as cool as me,” he said boldly.

I rolled my eyes and laughed. We continued to talk, backtracking to middle school all the way to today. As we talked, people would leave our house. After all, we did talk for at least 3 hours with a break in between to eat dinner. Now I knew why Cameron was one of my best friends: he was one hell of a wild child at heart and he knew how to get me to act that way too. Just after dinner, my mom brought out the good ol’ karaoke machine and nearly made a complete fool of her by singing what I assumed was a song during her generation. That’s what you get for drinking too many alcoholic beverages. After a few good rounds of my mom singing, Cameron was somehow able to get me to sing a song. I don’t know how, but he did. When we went back outside, he asked me a question I hope he would avoid.

“Met any guys lately?” He nudged me a couple of times. I stared at the ground, making absolutely no eye contact, frowning. Love avoided me for the longest time like I was the Plague or something; but unfortunately, it struck me hard once it finally came around. I’ve only fallen in love once and I regret every moment.

I moved my head up, facing the dark sky and tried not to have my tears spill from my eyelids. I shook my head, not saying a word. I could feel a few tears trickle down my cheeks and onto the ground. I didn’t bother to wipe them considering the fact that it would be obvious I was crying. I wouldn’t be crying if I wasn’t so emotional. Luckily for me, the backyard was dark since my dad had turned off the lights in the yard thinking that no one was even here. Little did I remember was that unlike everyone else, Cameron was able to read me like a book.

“Emma, are you okay?” He asked me, his expression quickly changing. I never did like to tell anyone how I was feeling. I don’t know why, but I just didn’t.

I faked a smile, something that I was slowly frequently doing and said, “Yeah, don’t worry.”

He tried to read my eyes, clearly unconvinced by my words but instead pulled me in for a hug, something that I needed every day. I could feel the warmth of his body against mine, reminding me that he was going to always be there thanks to our reconnection. Cameron was the one of the few who I was really close to, but that didn’t change the fact that I had all these walls built up surrounding me. Nothing could ever break down those walls of mine. Nothing.