Let Love In

I don’t have anything against Jenna. I really don’t. In fact, she’s actually a sweet person. You’d think that maybe, just maybe, your best friend’s girlfriend would hate your guts because she feared that you’d interfere with their relationship, but Jenna wasn’t like that. She actually approved Cameron and I’s friendship. Weird, right?

Jenna and I watched as the crowd cheered and yelled to every song as the guys played. Jenna had decided to help me sell merch since she didn’t want me to suffer alone. We mingled a little, talking about growing up and how we met the guys and such. What really struck me was her comment about Cameron and I.

“I’m glad Cameron has a friend like you,” she said, her eyes still glued to Cameron who was prancing around on stage, wooing every girl in front of him.

I raised my eyebrows. “Really?”

She nodded her head and turned her attention to me. “Of course. Cameron wasn’t the most popular guy in school nor did he receive the attention he does now. It’s nice to know that he has a really good friend like you who accepts him for who he is, you know?”

My eyebrows refused to come down, my reaction still the same. She really approves our friendship? “Cameron truly is a great person. He’s done so much for me and I can never thank him enough for it. I love him to death.” I paused for a second, realizing what I just said. “I love him as a friend,” I quickly added.

“I know,” I read her lips, unable to hear her say it. She continued to fiddle with the merch, her eyes glued to it. For a brief moment, she looked up at Cameron who grinned at her as she returned with a weak smile and turned her attention to a girl wanting to buy a Dance Forever bracelet. His grin quickly faded and turned into a thin line. He exchanged his look again, smiling at his fans before anyone could catch his sad expression. I could feel the tension between Jenna and Cameron build up and as much as I guiltily enjoyed the fact that he would most likely spend a lot less time with her, I couldn’t bear to see him upset. I knew that something just didn’t seem right.

I scanned the pool of people that jumped and sang to every word until a tall man caught my eye. I blinked and then squinted, hoping to get a better view. My eyes bugged out at the very sight of the man: it was him. I blinked a few more times and rubbed them, thinking I was imagining things due to my lack of sleep. In seconds, he was gone. That one second glimpse burned into my brain, leaving me paranoid and in fear.

Jenna gave me a worried look and asked, “Are you okay?”

“Uh, yeah,” I nodded. “I just need to go to the washroom. I’ll be back in a second.”

I rushed to the bathroom and pushed open the doors. I leaned against the sink, breathing in and out deeply as if I had run for miles. I looked at bottom of the stalls to see if anyone was in there and to my luck, no one was. I turned back around, facing the mirror. “What is going on?” I began speaking to my reflection. I turned away from the mirror, not wanting to see myself. My past flashed before me and just when I thought it all would end, it didn’t.



I stared at the ceiling of the hotel room and blew my hair out of my face. It was still daylight outside, the sun preparing itself to go down. The sky was painted a pastel pink, with hints of yellow and streamed with orange. I sighed, wondering what I should do. Normally the guys had an idea, but today seemed like a really chill day.

Michael sat down beside me and propped his feet on the coffee table. “Have you talked to him yet?”

I sighed once more, “No.” I shifted my body so I faced him. “He’s always with Jenna.”

“So, why don’t you just interrupt them and be like ‘Yo, Cameron, I need to talk to you’”.

I chuckled, “It’s not that easy.” I turned my head at the sound of the door opening and there he was, all by himself without Jenna.

“Well, now’s your chance.” He nudged me, signalling me to go up and talk to him.

“Hey, Cam,” I hesitated. I watched him go through a suitcase, in search for something. I looked back at Michael who motioned me to continue. “I was wondering if you wanted to hang out.”

He frowned at me. “I honestly would love to, but Jenna and I are going on a date.”

“Oh,” was all that escaped my mouth. I looked at the ground, not sure about how this was going to end. “It’s fine,” I quickly said.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, pulling me into a hug. “I promise to make it up to you.”

“It’s fine, Cameron, really,” I lied. He looked at me once more. I was hoping he would see right through my lie like he always did, but instead he walked out the door, leaving me to stand all alone.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Nathan rubbed my back. “We’ll hang out with you.”

I gave him a weak smile as we all left the hotel room and headed to the beach. Our hotel wasn’t far from the beach, in fact, it was right beside it. As soon as I felt the sand between my toes, I removed my flip flops and walked barefoot. I sat down, watching the guys toss a Frisbee around and people pass by. As much as I loved the beach, it didn’t feel the same without my partner in crime. I stared the horizon for the longest time that I didn’t notice Nathan was sitting right beside me.

“Alright, now it’s my turn to talk to you about the Cameron situation,” I heard him say. I traced little shapes into the sand as I listened to what he said. “It’s weird not seeing you with Cameron. Ever since Jenna joined, you two seem to be keeping yourselves at a distance.”

“It’s just been difficult because he’s always with her. We used to hang out a lot. You know, go on adventures and talk for hours. I feel like all those things were taken away from me all too quickly. In a sense, I feel like he’s avoiding me,” I explained to him.

“I understand that it’s hard for you to talk to him alone without Jenna being around, but why don’t you just ask him?”

“It’s not that easy for me. I want to, but I just don’t have the courage. I used to be able to talk to him about everything and now, it’s not that easy anymore.” I rested my head on his shoulder, continuing to watch the sun go down.

“If you want, I can talk to him for you,” Nathan offered.

“Could you, please?”

He nodded his head as I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him tightly. “Thanks Nathan.” I got up and dusted off the sand on my legs. “I’m going to hit the hay early. It’s been a long day.”

I walked back to the hotel alone, glancing at the guys who were still tossing the Frisbee. Once arrived at my hotel room, I dug into my back pocket for my pass key. Before I could open the door, someone had grabbed hold of me and placed their hand over my mouth.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” A familiar voice whispered into my ear. I closed my eyes shut, stopping the tears from pouring as I was able to identify the voice. The sound of the voice reminded me of nails being scratched on a black chalkboard: it was an unwanted sound. The voice was Jonathan’s.