Hold on Tight and Don't Look Back

My head was pounding, I could feel the pressure in my head increasing with every passing second. The slightest movement of my fragile head resulted in a sharp, shooting pain, causing me to cringe in fear and disbelief. I had to sit up, I told myself. I had to at least figure out where the hell I was. What the fuck happened to me? Why does my head hurt so much? And why the hell is this room completely dark? Clearly, I was a little more than confused. I placed my hands firmly on the cold bed sheets before trying to sit up, I was taking every step possible to ensure that my throbbing head wouldn’t move. Not so lucky for me, it failed. As I tried to lift my body up my head jerked forward, causing me to scream in pain. I gave up, knowing I had been defeated by the unbearable discomfort of my head, and laid back down. I was sitting up long enough to realize I was back at home, well what I call home for now, but I wasn’t in my usual spot on the couch, I was in Mikey’s bed.

“Lexi!” Mikey squealed. Panic was evident in his voice as he flung open the door, allowing light into the dimly lit room. “Baby, what’s wrong?” he sat down on the bed beside me as I slowly pulled the covers up over my face to protect my eyes from the blinding light.

“It fucking hurts!” I yelled back, probably a little harsher than I should have.

“What hurts?” he gently laid his hand on top of mine, letting me know he was genuinely concerned. “Tell me, and I’ll fix it.”
“My head,” I groaned, throwing the covers down so I could look Mikey in the eyes. “What happened to me?”

“Remember how we asked you to open for us at the Christmas show?” he asked, slowing rubbing his hand on mine as he moved himself into laying position beside me.

“Mhmmm.” It was all I could manage to say, the pain was becoming even worse from the added pressure on the pillow. I wasn’t going to tell him that of course, honestly, just having him by my side was making me feel slightly better.

“Well, you did play before us, and you did a great job. We asked you to come back out and perform our encore with us and that’s when it all went downhill. A fan screamed at you saying you were only on stage with us because of me. You ran off the stage crying and I followed you. Gerard gave a ridiculous lecture to the audience and the girl was escorted out. After the show we were signing and without you knowing the girl asked for a picture with you, you approached her and she knocked you out. You fell backwards and hit the concrete,” I had closed my eyes halfway through his explanation, but I could sense the displeasure in his voice, it was obvious he was in no mood to talk about what happened, let alone remember it.

“How could anyone hate me that much?” I opened my eyes just wide enough to gaze up at Mikey’s face and I could feel the tears start to make their way down my fragile face.

“Lexi, she was just jealous, that’s all. She couldn’t accept the fact she would never be as talented as you and chose to take her anger out in the form of violence hoping to get you on her level. She was just one of those overly obsessed fan girls that had dreams of dragging me to her prom and probably has pictures of me on every inch of her wall,” he smiled slightly as he raised his thumb and wiped away the tears.

“She shouldn’t be jealous of me, it’s not like my life is all perfect and peachy,” I could feel the tears start to fall once again. “I’ve probably been through more shit in my life than she’ll ever know. How would she feel if she lost her father at age 7, her mother was never there for her, she was the outcast at school, and got diagnosed with diabetes? She’d probably curl up in a ball and die because she couldn’t handle it because she’s weak,” I was angry, she has no idea what my life is like and yet she feels she has the authority to pass judgments.

“You have to calm down, sweetheart; it’s going to be okay. Take a deep breath,” he wrapped his arms around me, providing me with a much needed sense of security. “I know it’s tough for you, and I know you’re hurting, and no, she doesn’t understand, but that’s never going to change. She’s probably always going to live in a bubble but that just makes you the stronger person,” he kissed my forehead before continuing on. “I’m just so glad you’re okay, you had me terrified. When I ran over to you after you fell and you weren’t responding I was so scared something was seriously wrong with you. I thought you would never wake up. I just want you to know that no matter what anyone else says about you, I love you, and I want you to be safe and happy, that’s all I could ever ask for. I’m just so glad you’re okay you have no idea. It’s really a miracle you don’t even have the slightest concussion,” he held me tighter, letting me know he truly meant what he was saying.
“I love you, too, Mikey. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” I slowly moved my body closer to his and closed my eyes hoping to fall asleep, safe in his arms.

**

Gerard’s Point of View

To put it lightly, Mikey is still a wreck, every time he hears the slightest rustle of the covers coming from his room he runs straight up the stairs to make sure Lexi is okay. I mean, I’ve got to give the kid some slight credit, it was just last night that she was knocked out by some vicious, bitchy girl, but the doctors said she’d be fine once she woke up and we gave her the medicine they prescribed. I just think he needs to chill out a little bit, there’s no way he can truly help her feel better if his stress level is so high he can barely function. It was less than five minutes ago that he completely forgot he had to unlock the door to get out of the car and was convinced I had trapped him in there on purpose. As funny as that is, it’s not a good situation.

“I need to pick up a prescription,” I smiled politely at the lady working the pharmacy counter.

“What’s the name?” she flashed me a half hearted smile, it was rather obvious she didn’t want to be here.

“Way,” I said back quietly. I wasn’t in the mood for any fan encounters today. Don’t get me wrong, I love the fans, but I just want to get this medicine and get Mikey back home to Lexi.

“I’m sorry; we have no prescription under the name of Way sir. Is it possible it’s under another name?”

“It’s under Lexi’s name, Gee,” Mikey reminded me. “The prescription is under Murphy,” he informed the worker.

“It looks like it’s just a light dose of morphine, is that correct?” she asked.

“Yes, that’s correct,” Mikey answered her. It’s a good thing I actually brought him with me, I probably would have been dumb enough to show up back at the house without any medicine.

“Okay, you’re total today is going to be $27.39. How will you be paying?”

“We’ll be paying - ” I was rudely interrupted by the person waiting in line behind us. I must be losing my mind because I didn’t realize there was anyone else waiting and the change of voice caused me to jump a little.

“Let me pay for that, it’s only fair,” I spun around to see a familiar face patiently awaiting my response. I looked back at my brother knowing the shock was visible on my face. I watched as his jaw slightly dropped and his fists began to rise.

“Mikey, it’s not worth it, go wait in the car, I’ll handle this,” I whispered in his ear as I handed him the keys. Reluctantly, he shrugged past the girl and out the doors.

“What are you doing here? Haven’t you caused enough problems for us?” I handed the cashier my card before dealing with the girl in front of me, it was finally setting in that I was standing face to face with the person who caused my brother and Lexi so much pain last night.

“I know I caused your brother and Lexi a lot of pain last night, and I know I hurt all of you on a very personal level. What I did was wrong and I can’t change the past but I’d like to formally apologize to you, your brother, your band mates, and most importantly Lexi. Last night, I had a few drinks, probably one too many. I found my parents were separating, and they blamed it all on me. Not that that is any excuse for my actions, but I just wanted to lay everything on the table. I know you’ll probably hate me forever, but that’s something I’m okay with,” she explained, tears forming in her radiant green eyes.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I caught your name in all of that,” I slightly smiled at her, trying to calm her down.

“It’s Hayley,” she chuckled, “but honestly, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

“In a couple of days Lexi should be feeling better, maybe you could over and talk to her, and the rest of the guys. Give them the apology they’re owed and make sure Lexi knows how upset you are over this. She’s been through a lot in her life and I think you girls might actually be able to help each other,” I’m not quite sure why I just offered to let the girl that punched Mikey’s girlfriend into my house, but it’s like something just came over me. I could sense the sincerity and despair in her voice, she truly meant what she said.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” she questioned.

“Yeah, I think it’ll be okay. Here’s the address,” I grabbed a scrap piece of paper form the counter and scribbled down our address for her. “Come over on the 26, around 2 in the afternoon. I’ll make sure everyone is at home,” I smiled as I handed her the slip of paper. “I put my number on the bottom, if you have any problems just give me a call.

“Thanks, this means a lot to me,” she looked down at the paper as if she was checking to make sure this wasn’t some terrible joke before smiling at me with her green eyes. It’s amazing how her dark brown hair frames her pale complexion and eyes so perfectly, it’s like a match made in heaven. Gerard Way! You cannot think things like that about this girl! Just because you’re letting her apologize doesn’t mean you have to think about her like she’s someone you could date! What is wrong with you?! Was I really thinking that, surely that isn’t even possible after what happened. Is it?

I snatched the medicine off of the counter before hastily making my way towards the automatic sliding doors and out of the small convenience store. I could see Mikey sitting in the front seat with his head in his hands, it was obvious something was bothering him, but I wasn’t quite sure what. I hesitated for a moment before grasping the handle and letting myself in to the car.
“Hey bro what’s wrong,” I asked as I sat down and buckled myself in.

“Gerard, I have a bad feeling about this,” he looked up at me and I could see tear stains all over his hurting face. Clearly he either knows something I don’t or is just overreacting. I personally think he’s just freaked out because we ran into Hayley and he probably never wanted to see her again, but she just wanted to apologize, no harm done, right?