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Effortless

Chapter 11: I Can't Help It

Kris Letang’s POV

I watched as Dianna’s small hand rested over my heart. No matter what, it always seemed to land there, even now when she was unconscious. I would have been too, if my mind would let me. After we fell asleep we woke around four in the morning and made love again. Dianna then fell asleep hugging my arm, her ankle intertwined in mine. She was something else, I have to say. I remembered the married guys on the team would always say sex was better when it was with a girl you really cared about. It was always the response we got when someone told a raunchy locker room story. I didn’t really believe it until now.

I tucked some hair behind her ear, revealing dark lashes against her porcelain skin. She stirred at my touch.

“Good morning, handsome,” she mumbled into my chest.

“Hello there, Sunflower, how’re you feeling?” I greeted.

“Hmm, I feel like I need a kiss” she tilted her head up at me. Dianna’s eyes in the morning were like looking at the shore of the ocean at noon.

She smiled and I got a good grip on her waist and brought her closer. I kissed her and I didn’t realize how much I missed her lips on mine. She smiled again.

“I can’t kiss you if you’re smiling, baby” I laughed and she giggled.

“I can’t help it”

“We should stay in bed all day, I can think of a million things we can do” I kissed her cheek and to her ear.

“I have to teach a lab at noon” she pouted.

“Ugh, no. Listen those kids will be fine, they don’t need you there” I protested hoping that she would somehow agree.

“I don’t think my professor would appreciate his TA not showing up” she pushed my hair back and leaning up on her elbow.

“How long is the lab? Pulling her leg, so she was straddling me.

She smirked at me, “Seems like someone is awake”

“There is a beautiful woman, naked, sleeping next to me, how could I not be awake?”

She responded by leaning down and capturing my lips. That was one thing I loved about Dianna, she never waited around for me to kiss her. If she wanted to kiss me then she did. I felt her hand slide down my ribs, I thanked God that I wasn’t ticklish and thanked him again when her hand reached my morning member.

“How about I give you a preview of what’s to come when I get home from Pitt” I felt her smirk on my collar bone.

I gasped in response as her tiny hand slid up my shaft and she ran her thumb over my head.
“I’m sorry, Kris what was that?” she questioned looking up from my hip bone. I smiled and as I opened my mouth to reply she slid her tongue from the base of my cock to the tip.

My best answer was, “unghh”

Dianna was a different breed that was for sure. Most girls I had been with didn’t take as much time doing this as she did. It was like she was learning me, memorizing every inch of skin. Her tongue traced every surface, her hands followed, committing any gasp, or “oh God” to memory so that she could do it again. I tried to keep my brain together, ran drills in my mind, remembered the time Staal puked all over Max, but when she tugged slightly on my balls, I only managed, “now’ as a warning.

She smiled like a cat up at me.

“I think I dreamt about doing that”

All I could do was smile at her as I tried to regain my breath.

Twenty minutes later I watched as she toweled off in front of me. Such a tease, and when she asked me to put lotion on her back, I made sure to apply it directly, watching her jump from the cold put a small smile on my face.

“Jerk,” she laughed as I rubbed it in.

“Yeah, I’m a jerk, you’re the one with pink underwear with the bow” I replied.

“It’s fun to tease you”

“What goes around comes around, Sunflower” I smacked her butt when I was done.
She slid a pair of black slacks on and white tank with a grey sweater. It was weird seeing Dianna dress so conservatively. She usually had a bright color somewhere or a pale blue. As she sat at her vanity she pulled her hair up and I smiled. She did it because she knows I like it.

“Any of those little college boys hit on you?” I asked out of curiosity as she brushed make up on her cheeks.

“Someone a little jealous there, ma loup” she looked at me through the mirror.

“No, just curious, I mean you’re beautiful these teenage boys are probably all in love with you” I shrugged laying back down on her pillows.

“Sounds like your jealous” she responded, her mouth slightly agape as she applied the crazy wand black stuff to her eyelashes.

“You’re mouth open like that is giving me ideas” I smirked back.

“My goodness someone is randy, but I guess I am a little too”

“Ugh, Dianna Grace! This is not fair, please don’t leave” I begged like a small child.

“Stay here and I’ll be back in 3 hours.” She walked gingerly towards the bed.

“Yeah, it seems like you need a little break” I addressed her slow walking.

“But I am not complaining,”

“I’ll pick you up,” I said, as she leaned down and kissed me on the corner of my mouth- such a tease.

After Dianna had left I fell back to sleep for about 45 minutes. I had to remember to ask her where she bought her sheets. My Target brand ones weren't cutting it anymore. When I got up, I wasn’t planning on snooping. For one, I wasn’t that kind of person. Even as a kid I never snooped for my birthday or Christmas presents, I always liked the surprise. Plus, if I wanted to know something about Dianna I could just ask, she never beats around the bush.

A picture on her desk is what caught my eye. Two young girls both were wearing the same dress were standing side by side, each holding blue ribbons. I knew that smile anywhere and the blue eyes. Dianna as a child, but what was weirder is that fact that the girl standing next to her was her spitting image- maybe an inch taller, and her hair straighter, but the same nonetheless. Dianna mentioned her brother and I had seen her talk to him on the phone, but she never mentioned a sister, let alone a twin sister. I brought the picture closer to my face as if I would find some defining clue, when I nearly jumped out of my skin.

“She told you?”

I turned around and Nora was in the doorway in dance clothes and a bottle of water.

“Told me what?” I set the picture down, I felt like it was incriminating me.

“About Olivia?” She cocked her eyebrow at me.

“No, she hasn’t mentioned her” my heart was beating fast and I didn’t know why.

“She won’t, you know. She doesn’t talk about her ever. The only reason I found out is because her mom brought her up on time when she visited us in college and Di cried for days” Nora’s face frowned.

“Can you tell me?” I asked, I thought it was slightly weird that my girlfriend wouldn’t tell me about her own twin.

“Come on in the living room”

I followed Nora down the hall and into the living room. When we sat down on the couch she looked at me expecting to ask a question.

“So, Olivia is Dianna’s twin?” I started, my curiosity was getting the better me.

“Yeah, Liv and Di, ironic huh?” Nora’s voice was disturbing I didn’t like it.

“Why ironic?” I asked.

“Here’s the story, save questions for the end because if I stop telling it I’ll cry.” She looked at me and I nodded saying that I understood.

“Di and Liv were twins,”

The past tense hung in the air.

“As you know Di’s father is French and, well, his parents own a lot of property in the southern French country side. You want to talk about old money; well her family’s got it. I don’t know how or why they do, but they’re loaded. In any case, when Di was a little girl her whole family would go to their grandparent’s house for the summer. They had horses and the girls would ride and they took dance classes there. Well, the property was apparently very guarded, gates, cameras, the works. Well, one day, Di and Liv were down by themselves petting some of the horses, feeding them and all of that. “

She paused for a second to take a deep breath.

“Some guy came up through the back gate, climbed over or something like that. He was an employee apparently who was let go for stealing and, well, he was angry. The way Di told it to me was that he was going to use them, her and Liv, as ransom almost, but I guess he couldn’t control his temper. When he tried taking Di, she fought back kicking and screaming. Liv, tried to help and all Di says she remembers is that he grabbed Liv around the throat and shook her until she was limp. “

Another deep breath from Nora, and I was concentrating on breathing too. My stomach was tight and I felt like I did the first practice back after the summer.

“Liv died about a day later in the hospital. Di, had a broken wrist and hand, two black eyes. After, Liv’s funeral Di’s mom went nuts and would yell at Di all the time, blaming her. Apparently, she couldn’t even look at Di because she only saw Liv. So, they shipped Di to boarding school. She skipped a bunch of grades, went to high school at 11, graduated at 14, then graduated college at 18, and now she’s finishing PT school. She never goes to her parents’ house for holidays, it was always her grandparents who visit and vice versa. This past summer her grandfather who was the only one left died. Too cause even more drama he left everything to her. Estates, cars, all the money. Her mother was not happy. They don’t talk often.”

I just sat back on the couch. How could I have gone this long without knowing any of this? My Dianna, who I would never have guessed had such a difficult life, and not just a small tragedy. I focused again on breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth.

“How old were they?” I managed, when Nora excused herself.

“They were 9 when it happened,”

“Thanks, Nora, for telling me.” I smiled at Dianna’s best friend.

I sat there for a while processing everything, when I couldn’t stand to sit there any longer I got up and into Dianna’s shower.

The smell of her shampoo reminded me so much of Dianna smiling at me and then a chill ran down my spine and Nora’s words burned a whole in my brain.

“Liv and Di, ironic huh?”

Dianna’s POV
I was putting the test tubes away, when I heard the door open and shut behind me. I expected it to be a student, probably Nate, who never had a clue what was going on.

“Nate, I have office hours, we can discuss your grade then” I stated and stopped short when Kris was leaning in the door frame.

“Office hours, eh?”

“How did you get in here?” I asked. He shrugged at me. Something was off.

“How was your day, Di?” he asked.

“Di? Since when do you call me Di?” I questioned.

“I was talking with Nora at your place, just how everyone refers to you. Sorry.”

“Okay, what’s going on? When I left this morning you were trying to tie me to the bed, and now you’re half way across the room with your arms folded.” If Nora said anything to him that would make me seem stupid I was gonna kill her.

“I just wasn’t sure if I was allowed to show PDA when you’re working” he said, crossing the room to me. He stood a foot away from me and smiled, but I could see the crease in his brow showing that he was worried. His smile wasn’t tired or lopsided like it usually was. It was sympathetic. And it hit me.

“You know, don’t you.”

“Know what?” he leaned against the work bench.

“About her,” I said, I scrunched my nose from the sharp pain of trying to keep tears back.

“I’m sorry,” he said and he reached for me.

“No, don’t, “ I backed away from him.

I tried to compose myself. Even after all these years just thinking about her I couldn’t hold the tears back.

“Please, Dianna, Nora saw me looking at the picture you have of the two of you and I was just curious,” he rushed to explain himself.

“I can’t do this here, Kris” I was shaking and moving around him, keeping my distance. This is why I never told anyone because I couldn’t handle it.

I grabbed my coat from the closet and shut the lights off. Kris followed behind me, head down. I could feel my ears getting hot as we walked down the large corridor towards the elevator. The stinging in my eyes was getting worse and I wished that I had called in sick to this lab.

When I felt Kris’s large hand on my back, I couldn’t help it, a tear fell.

“It’s okay,” the French he used didn’t make me feel any better.

He rushed us both to his SUV, his hand warm and present on my lower back. When we were finally inside, I couldn’t keep it in any longer. Tears fell, silently, and one by one.

“Dianna, ma belle, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked Nora about the picture. I was just curious and that always gets me in trouble. Bebe, please, I just...”

I closed my eyes, I wasn’t mad a Kris by any means, and I know it must seem that way to him. There was just one certain thing in my life that I could not handle. This was it. I handled when my parents shipped me off to Connecticut for school, I handled being picked on and left out because I was so young in high school and college. I handled all of it. I’m highly logical in that way, but when it came to this, I was a mess.

“Just hold me for a second” I managed out, my voice was low.

Kris if it was physically possibly could probably wrap his arms around me twice. His chest was a solid foundation that I needed to rely on right now and I did, snuggling into him and holding on.

“You’re okay, Ballerine, you’re okay. I’m right here. Right here” Kris whispered to me as I cried into his shirt.

When I finally settled down he made sure his hand was in mine and drove towards his house. I really liked Kris’s house it reminded me of warm summers. He carried me inside, which was unnecessary but I knew he liked doing it.

We sat on the couch for a while and he let ruin his shirt with my tears. He rubbed my back and told me that I was going to be okay. He let me ramble about that day and how I felt about it. By the time I quieted down it was nearly five o’clock.

“You want me to make dinner, Dianna” he asked sitting up on the couch, which prompted me to sit up as well since I was using him as a cushion.

“Since when did you learn how to cook?”

“Let me dazzle you!” he laughed and slid me next to him, “be right back,” and he kissed my nose.

When I heard dishes being moved around in the kitchen I got up and walked around his living room. Vero had told me that he had asked her for help when he moved in here, and I’m glad she did; everything looked amazing. I went to his bookshelf and everything was in French of course and it made me wish I had learned how to read and write it better. I picked up the most worn one, and realized that it was Great Expectations, but in French. I loved this novel too; Charles Dickens always had a great happy ending.

“Don’t tell the guys I like that book so much, Ballerine.” I heard him behind me. When I turned he was standing there with two plates that contained a PBJ sandwich, cut apples, and a fruit rollup. The smile reached my ears and I knew right then that Kris was the one for me.

“Okay, you sit, but don’t start without me. I’m gonna get the drinks” he rambled setting both plates down on the coffee table; I noticed that he had two sandwiches instead of one. My smile stayed put. He brought back two glasses filled with milk.

We started eating and I have to say Kris makes a mean Peanut Butter and Jelly. When I took a sip from the glass I stopped.

“This is 2% milk?” I raised my eyebrow at him.

“Uh, yeah, so?”

“But you drink skim, I know that for a fact, hockey player” I replied.

“Well, ballet dancer, I know that you like 2%, so I bought some, okay?” he teased.

“Why?”

“Why? Cause I plan on keeping you around”

It was official my smile wasn’t going anywhere.

Later that Night-Dianna’s POV

Kris moved slowly, and his kisses were gentle. Everything about this moment was how I imagined it as a girl. I consider Kris my first, because he was. He was the first guy to make love to me. To move slowly make sure I was okay. Too look me in the eye and kiss me with more love than I could handle.

Kris lay over me as he moved in and out of me, just using his hips. He held himself up by his elbows and he pressed his forehead to mine. His eyes were glassy and so were mine. We both knew what was happening in this moment. Aside from the love we were making, we both were thinking it.
I love you. Yet, neither of us got the words out.

And come morning I would realize that that was probably for a good reason.
♠ ♠ ♠
For Olivia Maria- Rest Easy.

Hey all, so sorry this took so long to come out. I do apologize! I hope it's length makes up for it. Also, the next couple of chapters are going to be good. Lots of drama. There was some foreshadowing in this one to how it will work out. In any case, I hope you're all enjoying your summer.

Also, if you guys know of any really good Hockey Fanfics, leave me a message in the comments or in my inbox. I've got some more time now that it's summer.

<3 SJ