Effortless

Dianna’s POV

Kris had practice the next day and as if our minds knew, we both woke up around 7 in the morning. As per usual it was grey, cold December morning in Pittsburgh. I woke up before Kris. He was sleeping flat on his back and mouth hanging open. When he woke up he apologized if he drooled on me. Which started the morning off with laughs.

“I have to take a shower, bebe” he said, as his fingers played with my hair.

“Why? You’re just gonna go get sweaty anyway” I tightened my grip on him.

“Mmm, because I smell like sweet, sweet love” he kissed my nose and got up.

I whistled. Naked, Kris Letang, walking around in front of you, it deserves a whistle. He shook his ass at me and I laughed and fell back on his pillows.

I heard the water start running and I laid there taking in deep breaths. I could smell his cologne on the pillows and blankets. My smile was interrupted by Kris’s phone ringing. I looked at it and it was “Alex”, so I let it go to voicemail. If Gogo needed Kris he would leave him a message. I got up, and pulled on a clean shirt from Kris’s laundry. Picking my panties up from the ground, where Kris had discarded them the night before, I decided against it and went back to the basket of laundry and pulled out a pair of boxers as well. As I slipped them on Kris’s phone went off again. I thought it was weird that Alex would call again. I went over to the night stand and Kris’s phone beeped, a text message from Alex. Then it started ringing again.

I went over to the bathroom, the door was open.

“Ma loup, Alex keeps calling you and texting you.” I said in.

“Pick it up, Ballerine. Practice time might have been changed” he yelled to me.

I went back into his bedroom, the plush carpet sinking in between my toes.

I picked up Kris’s ringing phone and slid my finger across to answer.

“Hello”

Have you ever been in a car with someone and you both have a drink in the holder. You go to pick it up and when you take a sip it wasn’t what you were expecting and you cringe. That is what happened when I picked up the phone; I was expecting a deep male voice of Alex Golgoski, but what I got was a high pitched female voice.

“Who the hell is this?” was the response to my friendly hello.

“Dianna, who is this?” I went from friendly to what my brothers always called my doctor voice.

“It’s Alex, where is Kris?”

As if on cue, Kris came running into the room hair dripping, towel around his hips.

“He is in the shower, he’ll call you back” and I hung up.

The only thing that could be heard was the water that was still running because of Kris’s quick departure. His eyes were big, like he had gotten caught and I tried to keep my cool. Though, I almost lost it when the phone in my hand started ringing.

“Can you please explain who Alex is?” and it didn’t even sound bitchy. In retrospect it should have been because of his response.

“I can’t I have to go to practice.” He said, going over to the same basket of laundry and getting dressed.

“Are you serious? I just want to know what’s going on?” I asked walking over to him.

“I really can’t, I’m gonna be late.” He replied pulling his shirt over his head.

“You have a whole hour before you go!” I was slowly boiling.

“Traffic, I’ll talk to you later” and he walked out.

I sat there for a long time, the water still running in the background. Since, I had no information to go on I of course assumed the worst. I had heard plenty of stories about hockey players. About them being away so long that it causes them to cheat. That they just hook up with bar flies. That they’re playboys and yada yada yada. Yet, in the past 5 months with Kris I never even got an inkling of him cheating on me. I mean it was me who was falling asleep to his texts. He responded to almost every message or phone call right away. I mean everything you would hope to have in a boyfriend he was. I guess, it was too good to be true.

I stripped his clothes off my body, and I held the material of his shirt in my hand before I pulled it over my head. My nose pinching from keeping the tears back, I had never felt so dismissed before in my life. I put my clothes back on and took everything that was mine. My phone charger, my toothbrush, my hairbrush, and as I was walking out of the apartment I stopped and walked over the refrigerator and took the 2% milk.

Kris POV

I don’t know why, but when I arrived home I thought maybe Dianna would still be there. Maybe she would still be lying in my bed or in my kitchen in my boxers and shirt making us lunch or dozed off on my couch watching House. My house was empty though. I ran my fingers through my hair and went to my bedroom. The blankets were still askew from last night and all her things were gone. The hair brush she kept next to my cologne on my dresser, her phone charger that was plugged on her side of the bed. She knew I would notice she knew my attention for detail. I went into my adjoining bathroom and her pink toothbrush was gone too.

To say I felt like shit would be an understatement.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and still no message. I don’t know why I kept thinking that Dianna would be okay with how I treated her. I mean if the roles were reversed I would be mad. Scratch that, I would hunt down that motherfucker and let him know who I was.

I dragged myself into the kitchen and my phone beeped. I don’t think I moved that fast in game seven. Of course, it was from Christina. The text message was so similar to something Sid would say that I almost thought it was him. Though, he would have left out a few choice words in the beginning.
“You’re dumb. Make this right. “

When I walked over the fridge to get something to eat I opened the door and the milk was gone. I slammed the door shut. I know I had confused her, and maybe this was her getting back at me. I wasn’t even hungry. I just had a two hour conditioning practice and I could care less about eating. I went to my room, phone in hand and before I could dive face first into the sheets, my foot landed on something. I looked down and small black hair elastic was there. I picked it up and put it on my wrist. Maybe there was hope.
 

Dianna’s POV
When I got home I was happy that Nora was out, I don’t think I could have handled telling her what had happened just yet. I already dealt with Christina describing hunting Kris down when she called me on my drive home; I couldn’t deal with explaining it again.

I turned the shower on and let my hair down, it was getting extremely long these days. The shower didn’t help any all it did was remind me or Kris running into his bedroom soaking wet and leaving the water running, and his deer in headlights expression.

I knew that practice wouldn’t be over until at least noon, so I kept my phone nearby and tried to correct some lab reports. Needless to say, I grader harder then I normally would have, considering they were only freshman. I was mad though, when I was a freshman I was significantly younger than everyone and I had this professor who barely spoke any English and graded as if it were a doctorate level class. Things in my life always seemed to be harder than they needed to be. Maybe I made it that way. All of my choices led me to harder situations. I chose to go to high school early, I choose to go to an extremely hard undergrad, I choose to continue to dance, and I choose to date a hockey player.

Feeling sorry for myself wasn’t something I did well-which wasn’t a good thing. Having a small pity party never hurt anyone; instead I would throw myself into something until I had to face it. The lab reports were done in an hour.

That’s when my phone rang.

I knew it was him because I could see the picture of me kissing his cheek and him pretending to be shocked on my screen. I debated picking it up. In retrospect I should have made him suffer, but at the time I thought I might as well get this over with.

“Hello,”

“Dianna?” he voice was tentative.

“Yes, what is it, Kris?” I shot back.

“Uh, how are you?” he asked, I could tell he didn’t know how to go about this.

“Fine.”
No guy like hearing that.

“Oh, well, that’s good. I just…”I cut him off.

“Cut the shit, what is going on?” I wasn’t good at small talk.

“Listen, it’s nothing what you think, Sunflower. Let’s just forget it and move on”

Wrong.

“Move on? How can I move on when you have some girl calling your phone in the early morning? And not only once, but multiple times? That isn’t fair to me, Kris. If things were reversed I would have to explain myself.”

“Dianna, it’s the past, so let’s leave it there. You’re the only girl I want.”

“If I was the only girl you wanted, then you would explain to me who this Alex girl is. If we’re going to be in a relationship then we need to be open and honest with each other. I told you something only very limited people know. I trusted you.” My voice cracked and I tried to regain my focus.

“Don’t cry, Ballerine.” I could tell his voice was strained. I didn’t want to cry either. I would have actually liked to punch Kris in the face, but I rather not have any broken fingers. I took a few deep breaths and he continued.

“Just, trust me. Alex isn’t anything okay. You’re everything, you know that. These past couple of days I haven’t felt closer to anyone, like I have with you, Dianna.”

His words sounded nice. It’s what every girl wanted to hear. Yet, how could I just let something like this go? There would always be that seed of doubt in my mind. I didn’t want to spend my life thinking if every text message he got was from her.

“I may believe that some of that is true,”

“It is,” I could imagine him pacing his room.

“But, I can’t just let it go. I would love to, trust me. There is always going to be that seed of doubt in my mind if you can’t explain this. And if I’m everything, you should be able to tell me and know that I would never judge you. I’ve told you something and shared with you some things that have happened in my past that I wish didn’t happen. You should know that you’re able to do the same with me. “

If you hadn’t notice, I’m verbose. I can’t help it, being concise was never my strong suit.

“Dianna, I can’t”

“Can’t what?”

“I just…it’s not what you think, please. “

The pressure behind my eyes was increasing and I was breathing deeply, anything to keep from crying. I decided, fuck it, he is hurting me and he should know.

I let the tears fall for a minute and I could hear him whispering, “please” on the other end.

“Call me when you’re serious about this,” I managed and hung up.

Kris POV

I kept the her hair elastic on my wrist. I kept it on in the shower and at practice. The night and the following day Dianna didn’t not respond to my messages or phone calls.

I could count the number of times I’ve cried in my whole adult life on one hand. I can now put a finger up for the girl who I wouldn’t let get away.