Problems Are Better Left Unsaid

“I can’t believe this.” I sighed raking my hands through my hair

“She had to find out eventually.” Bryan said with a huff. “You should have just told her once she was old enough that she isn’t yours.”

“She is my daughter.” I growled “She didn’t have to find out. All because of a little slip she found out.”

“Lying to her for the rest of her life would have made everything okay Paul?”
I stayed quiet.

“He’s afraid she’s going to go searching.” Martin said softly.

My ears perked up. I had never even thought of that. Would Lin try and find him? In my mind that was always a blunt no, but Lin doesn’t know any better. She doesn’t know how many people he hurt. How he hurt Les.

I remember holding her that night when she was sobbing about what he had done. She was terrified about the chances of her being pregnant. When the news broke out I thought she was going to try and kill herself again. Instead she came to me knowing it would only tear me to pieces if she were to permanently be excluded from my life.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do” tears were rolling slowly down her face.

“Well what do you feel is best?” I responded softly stroking her cheek.

She placed her hand over her stomach and pondered.

“I can’t have an abortion…I just can’t.”

I let out a deep breath.

“Then we can knock that option off our list.”

“My Mom wants me to abort it.”

I looked up at her.

“I told her I couldn’t and she told me to get out.”

“Sit.” I patted my lap and she plopped down.

“What is it that you want?”

“I want to have it.” She looked into my eyes questioningly
I placed my hand on her stomach and kissed her neck.

“I’ll always be here.”

“I have to tell her the truth.”

“She’s not going to listen.” Les shifted in her seat “You have to give her some time to relax and come to terms with everything.”

“I’m sorry she had to find out this way.” Bryan gave Les a hug that seemed to last eons.
I got up out of my seat.

“I need to get some fresh air.”

“I’ll go with you.” Martin got out of his seat and put his jacket on.

I walked out the door with Martin trotting behind me.

After about fifteen minutes of complete silence and walking aimlessly I spoke up.

“I am scared.” I sighed taking in a deep breath “I’m afraid that she is going to hate me and that she is going to try and find him.”

“She doesn’t hate you Paul.”

“Right now she does.”

“Right now she is confused. All hell basically just broke loose. You were her real father for so long and she probably doesn’t want to acknowledge the fact that you aren’t blood related. She is going to be angry but she would never hate you. You have done everything for her and have always treated her like she is your own. She is your daughter and something as stupid as DNA won’t change that. She’ll realize it.” Martin placed his arm on my shoulder.

“I can’t get her face out of my mind. Just the look that was plastered on her face hurt me. I could have just waited until tomorrow maybe the blow would have been easier for her.”

“Nothing would have made it easier. You’re her Dad even if you would have told her tomorrow she would still have been just as hurt as she was today.”

Martin pulled his phone out of his pocket and started flipping through it.

“Take a look at this.”

I peered over and looked at the screen. It was me and Aislinn when she was four years old. It was her first concert and she was back stage with Les watching. When “Two is Better Than One” started playing she darted out onto the stage and ran straight to me.

“You still have that?”

“Since the very day I took it.”

“You have no clue how many nights I actually cried when I realized the harsh reality of it all.”

He squeezed my shoulder and I tried to shrug off the feeling.

“I need this right now.” I sighed letting out a harsh breath

“It’s just stress, sweetie.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Patricia was a close friend of mine. Her annual house party wasn’t normally on my birthday, but this year her parents decided to have a later vacation time. She and I have been friends since kindergarten. She is also another key player on our schools volleyball team as well as my best friend (I suppose).

“How long do you plan on crashing for?” She asked.

“Just the night I guess.”

Her lips flipped into the biggest grin.

“Well that means we could have some fun now doesn’t it?” She pulled a joint out of he left pocket.

“Pat—I”

“You’re going to try it at least once in your lifetime.” She lit up and took a deep breath in, letting the smoke fill her lungs.

“Take it.” She passed it to me.

I took it and looked at it for a brief moment. Everything I promised my Dad.

No Drugs.

No alcohol until 21.

No sex until I was married. (That one is a bit of a stretch on reality)

“Screw it.” I placed the paper in between my lips and took a deep breath in.

After about what seemed like hours of passing it back and forth I felt as if I was on top of a cloud. My fits of giggles and Patricia’s over use of sexual enuendos added more excitement to everything that was going on inside my head.

We decided to join everyone else down stairs. The music was blaring and I couldn’t help but grind my body on top of hers. Her lips touched the nape of my neck and she nibbled on it softly.

We heard a chorus of jeers and howls from the guys that were surrounding us. I could have sworn that I saw a few cameras going off. At that moment I could honestly care less. I planted my lips on hers and everything from there went black.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paul’s POV

Martin and I had taken a walk about 5 miles out from the house. We stopped by a park that I used to take Lin to all the time. We were just talking about random things. He was mainly trying to keep my head clear and to try and attempt to stop thinking about everything that had just happened only a few hours ago.
“I’m thinking of moving back out to LA.”

I sat down on the nearest bench.

“Really? You never mentioned this before.”

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately and well…”

“Spit it out.”

“I’m moving in with Gabby.”

I cocked an eyebrow.

“You broke up with Gabby years ago.”

“We’ve been back together for a year and a half.”

“What the fuck Martin? You haven’t said shit about this.”

He looked down at his feet.

“I kept everything hush hush because of all the drama that happened before.”

“She broke your heart.”

“I forgave her for it. I think everyone else should move past it also.”

I rolled my eyes and shut them tight.

“I don’t mind spending everyday out on your corner in the pouring rain.
I look for the girl with a broken smile and ask her if she wants to stay a while.
She will be loved…She will be loved”

I flipped open my phone.

“Les…”
“Paul, Lin was arrested.”