16

I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom in our apartment in southern California. I heard the knock on the door but seeing as Mum was home I didn’t get up. I was comfortable. I was leaning against the wall, listening to some tunes and stitching a new patch onto my bag. It wasn’t until I heard my Mum yelling that I even looked up from my project. My Mum doesn’t yell. Seriously, you get people saying, “My Mum is so nice, we get along so well blah blah blah” but I actually don’t think I’ve ever heard my Mum raise her voice above its normal every day register. So I got up off my comfy spot on the floor, walked quietly to the door and crept down the hall, not wanting to let my Mum and who ever else was there know that I was listening.

“I just wanted to see her.” A familiar yet strange voice said.

“But why now?” My mum yelled back “What could have possibly changed all of a sudden?”

“I know I haven’t been here, but I’m here now!” I couldn’t help but thinking that I have heard that voice before. Where have I heard it before?

I edged a little around the corner to get a look at who it was, hoping they couldn’t see me. I saw my Mum sit down at the kitchen table, placing her elbows on the table and her face in her hands.

Standing across from her was someone I never thought I would see this close, let alone in my apartment.
“I want to see Danielle.” He said again, this time much quieter.

“A year or two ago I would have said that she wants to see you too,” my Mum said “but now… She’s given up on you Mike. You were never here and she waited for you to come and see her for 15 years…she’s given up on you.”

“I know I wasn’t here, but I’m here now and I’m her father and I want to see her and be part of her life.”

That’s Mike Dirnt…Mike fucking Dirnt…What the fuck is going on?

I looked down at the t-shirt I was wearing. It was my oldest Green Day t-shirt. Surprisingly it still fitted me; it was somewhat gigantic when I first got it. That was back when I first started really getting into Green Day. I was 9 and American Idiot had just come out. I was going through all of Mum’s CDs because I knew she had some Green Day in there. She had all of their CDs. She told me that when she used to live in Berkeley, her and her friends would go and see them, back when they were called Sweet Children. I had always liked their music because I had grown up with it. I stole all Mum’s Green Day CDs and they became my favourite band. I was proud to like the same music that Mum did when she was younger.

She bought me heaps of merchandise like T-shirts and Posters and stuff and she even gave me an old vinyl record, a copy of Kerplunk that she had gotten signed back just after it came out. It’s framed and sits on my wall above my bed. Anyway, Mum had bought me the T-shirt that I was wearing for Christmas in 2004 and obviously I still wear it. It was black, with Green Day written in red dripping writing, it had the faces of Billie Joe, Tre and the man standing in my living room, stenciled on it in white.

What is happening? The only explanation is that this man, Mike Dirnt, is my father, right? The man who left my mother before I was born, the man that has never ever written to me or sent me a single Birthday card, is the same man that supplied the bass line for quite a large chunk of my CD collection, that I have idolized for half of my life.

I didn’t realize that in the shock of what was happening, I had stumbled out of my hiding place in the shadows of the hall and into the light of the Kitchen/Living Room, into clear view of my Mum and my supposed father.

Mike looked up directly at me. I couldn’t believe who I was standing in front of. I couldn’t believe what was taking place. I looked at Mum for confirmation and she nodded. I looked back at Mike.

So this was the man I had idolized and hated at the same time for years with out even knowing it.

“Danielle…” he breathed quietly, looking at me in shock, obviously finally realizing and accepting the face that he had a living breathing 16 year old daughter,

He’s shocked? For fuck’s sake. My father is Mike Fucking Dirnt. How could he do this to me? How could he not come and see me? Why didn’t anyone ever tell me? My Mum… How could she keep this from me when she knew how much I wanted to know my father and how much I idolized him and the rest of Green Day? She lied to me.

“Dani?” I was pulled from my thoughts by my mother. “Honey?” she said cautiously. Not being able to take it any longer, I turned around and went and grabbed my keys and my drumsticks from my room. I ran back past my still silent parents and out the front door, which I slammed as hard as I could.

--Mike’s POV--

“Dani?” Jackie said. “Honey?” she continued.

This is not good. I had been hoping that it would have gone better. Tears were visible in Danielle’s eyes and she ran back down the hall to what I assumed was her bedroom. Before I had the chance to run after her she had ran back past me and out of the door. Shit. Although I guess after how crap I’ve been I couldn’t really have expected much better.

I went to follow her when Jackie stopped me.
“I wouldn’t go after her if I were you.” She said.

“Why not?”

“She’s pissed off and upset. She’s gone to vent some steam, Give her some space.”

“Will she be okay?”

“She’ll be fine after awhile; she’s just gone down to the Basement.”
I gave her a questioning look.

“The basement of this building. It used to be used as the general lounge for all the adults but it never got used so we handed it over to the kids, surprisingly there are quite a few in the building, and now it’s like a chill out room for the teenagers in the area. Dani’s drum kit’s down there, so I’d say she’s down there smashing the shit out of it.”

“She plays the drums?” I asked. Jackie nodded and walked over to the kettle and switched it on. “I want to see her play.” I added.

“You’ll get your chance to see her play later. Right now, just let her be. Have a coffee. She’s got band practice in half an hour so you can go down and stand in the door way while they play.”

“She’s in a band?” I said, not able to keep the pride out of my voice.

--Dani’s POV--

I was sitting at my drum kit when the rest of my band walked in. Two of my best friends made their way through the throng of people that had come down to The Basement to watch us play. There were always quite a few people at our practice sessions. It was just a thing you did on a Saturday afternoon if you were a punk rock loving teenager living in the area.

When the rest of the band got to the small stage in the corner of the Basement and they saw my puffy red eyes they quickly came over to me.

“Are you okay?” my best girl friend and the bass player in our band, Alex, said.

“What happened?” asked James, our front man.

“Where’s Cody?” I ignored his question, staring blankly around the room in search of our other guitarist.

“He’s in New York Dani.” Alex said with a worried look on her face. “Where he’s been for the past week. What is up with you?”

“What happened?” James asked again.

“My father came over.” I said blankly, looking up at Alex.
“Oh my god,” She said quietly, the shock evident in her voice. “When? Who-What was he like?”

I didn’t think I could handle talking about it yet. I didn’t want to think about it anymore.
“I’ll tell you about it later, let’s just play.”

“Are you sure?” James said with concern in his eyes. “You don’t look up to playing.”
“No, it’s just what I need,” I said “To bash the shit out of something.”

Alex leant over and gave me a hug before picking up her bass and organizing the amp and chords for her microphone and stuff.

We went straight into Knowledge, an Operation Ivy cover. Although, no matter how many times I listen to the original version, I can never help thinking of it as a Green Day song. Our band does a lot of Green Day covers, which usually makes me happy, but at that moment, there were so many different thoughts running through my head, I was just so confused, it just seemed to make me feel worse.

As we finished Knowledge, I looked up passed Alex, who was looking at me with concern and sympathy and to the doorway of the room. I knew Mum would bring him down to watch us practice. I wish she hadn’t. This was my time to get away from everything, how was I supposed to do that with him standing there looking at me? I quickly looked away when I felt the prickling feeling in my eyes that would soon turn into fresh tears, and I started to drum the beginning of Longview.