Kick Off Your Stilettos

JOHNNY

"Duuude, we're bunking off school, it's supposed to be cool! We're supposed to do something awesome! Like in Ferris Bueller's Day Off!"
"Yeah? Well why don't you think of something to do?"
"How bout NOT youtube?" I interjected.
"Shut up Johnny, nobody likes you!" Brian laughed.
I narrowed my eyes, totally about to think of a great comeback when I noticed a new Matty Maggot video uploaded pretty recently. I grabbed the mouse off Matt and clicked on the thumbnail, bringing up a short video.

"Hey grrrrls! Today, as promised, we have a special guest!"
We all gasped simultaneously as she gestured to Zacky, sitting on a bean bag with a bra on and an alarmed expression on his face.
"This here, my little corpse-bunnies, is Zachary Baker. Typical high-school boy- totally in need of a makeover. And today, for your amusement, we have him tied up in my bedroom at your mercy! Your comments decide what I do to him..." she winked and blew a kiss, Zacky squirming. "But for now, while you decide, I'm going to apply Zacky's base-layer."

There was a moment of silence as we all tried to work out how to react. Then burst out laughing for about ten minutes.
Our laughs and Jimmy's hysterical giggles slowly died down. "Haha... oh shit." Bri wheezed, "He's totally screwed..."
Jimmy cleared his throat and put on a posh hero voice, "We must fight with all our valour and bravery to rescue the good princess Zackina from the Evil Witch Maggot."
"Preferably before the sex change..." I muttered.

xMATTYx

I refreshed the youtube page, 12 new comments. I scrolled down the list, getting through 'OMG tease his hair tease his hair give him extensions!!!', 'Wow hes pretty hawt...xx' 'He Needs Coooon Stripess!!' 'DYE HIS HAIIIR!' and'SEX HIM UPP!' before getting a bit bored.
I turned to Zacky, trying to work out where I should start, but the inspiration just wasn't flowing.
"I need my music!" I moaned, sliding my Medic Droid CD into the CD player, a relaxed grin forming on my face as the power pop blasted out of my speakers and Zacky winced, his face twisting as if I was burning his forehead with straighteners.
"What's wrong with my music?" I frowned.
He shuddered dramatically, "Everything! Where's the meaning? Where's the drive? Where's the fucking beat?"
"Whatever 'rocker', my house, my prisoner, my rules." I turned on the webcam and addressed the fans.
"Well hello, grrrrls! I've done Zacky's foundation now and, taking in your great advice, I'm going to start on his makeover!"
"Oh god, no!" Zacky groaned, but come on, like I'm gonna listen...
With a matador's flourish, I whipped a towel around his shoulders. "Hair first! Seeing as I might not have very much time on my hands, I'm just going to use spray in dye, instead of dyeing it properly, but hopefully Zacky here will love his look enough to make it permanent!" I pulled a can of candyfloss pink spray in dye and a couple of handmade stencils off my shelf and got to work spraying 'coon stripes into his hair- a speedy task seeing how there was so little of it. Once that was done, I got to work teasing the roots and straightening the sides, while explaining to the camera what I was doing. A cloud of hairspray and a couple of cute clips and the hair was perfect.

BRIAN

"Okay, everybody get in the van!" I shouted at the guys, "Come on, our friend is being turned into a clump of hair extensions while you lot nancy around!"
"Ok, ok..." they all filed into the back and we set off on our rescue mission.

xMATTYx

"Ok, so that's the hair done, now we're onto make-up!"
"Please, no!" Zacky wailed, "Somebody help me!"
I giggled, "Isn't he adorable!"
I pulled out my next instrument of torture, pale blue eye-shadow, and started applying it on his eyelids and up to his eyebrows. "Don't worry about the dull shade, girls, this is just the first layer!" Once I finished, I moved on to a bright turquoise eye-shadow and brushed it on, smudging it out into the lighter blue. "Now some yellow for a bit of contrast." I dragged the yellow eye-shadow under his eyes with my fingers and left his eyes to move onto his lips. "Now, Zacky." I grinned, "Which colour would you prefer?"
He smiled nervously, "Pink, please."
"Perfect, to match your hair! Only I think I'll use a slightly darker shade." "Now," I explained, "I'm plumping up his lips and putting on baby pink lipstick. Et voila. And now, for a leopard print, I draw over that with liquid eyeliner in 'c' and 'o' shapes." I quickly drew on the leopard print and turned back to the camera. "Okay! Now I'll leave that to dry and finish off the eyes! If you want to see how to best use false eyelashes and mascara together, I'm going to add a link in the description of this video, so don't worry!" I quickly stuck on the false lashes and applied a quick brush of mascara to further elongate the lashes and blend them into the real ones. "Now I know I'm doing this in the wrong order, but hey, shoot me for improvising! I'm going to add a finishing touch to the eyes with some thick black face paint." I stuck my fingers in the face paint and made two warpaint streaks under his eyes. I added a finish of gloss to his lips and stood back to show off my creation to the camera. "And there you go! From lean to scene!" I turned to Zacky, "All we need now is a new name for you!"
"Nothing worm-related." he narrowed his eyes at me.
I paused for thought, trying to think up something relevant to our lovely pastimes together.
"I like Zacky Vengeance."
He smiled, for the first time since he woke up, "I like that too."
I turned back to the camera, "Well, thanks for watching, grrrrrrrls! Matty Maggot and Zacky Vengeance, signing out!"

ZACKY

"So, Vengeance," Matty smiled at me warmly, "How awful was that?"
"Very awful. So, Maggot, how fun was it?"
"I think you're the most fun person I've ever made over!"
I sighed, "I think I love you."
She blinked, "Sorry, what?!"
"I think I love you, for fuck's sake!
"Oh, okay." she laughed, "I thought I misheard you."
"So, are we going to kiss now?"
"Uh, sure, I guess, if you want..."
I leant in to press my leopard-printed lips against hers, but instead of feeling her glossy mouth, I felt the carpet as I was knocked to the floor.
"What the fuck?!" I looked up to see my friends standing over me, Brian and Johnny restraining Matty as Jimmy and Matt leant over me.
Johnny put Matty in a headlock. "Who's that and what did you do with Zacky? Huh?"